


Recovery

by xxDeja_Uchihaxx



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Eren Yeager, Caretaking, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, French Kissing, Injury Recovery, Kissing, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Swears, Levi's Past, Love, M/M, Nightmares, Oral Sex, POV Eren Yeager, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Recovery, Sarcastic Levi, Shingeki no Kyojin: Kuinaki Sentaku | Attack on Titan: No Regrets, Slow Build, Smut, Teacher Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Titans, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Training, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2015-01-09
Packaged: 2018-02-28 21:39:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 48,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2748032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxDeja_Uchihaxx/pseuds/xxDeja_Uchihaxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the sequel to You're the Universe to Me.</p><p>After Eren is kidnapped, he's left traumatized and Levi is left to pick up the pieces. The real question is, is Levi really stable enough to stand up to the job? He had just killed 8 men in cold blood to GET to Eren without flinching. Will their relationship ever go back to the way it was? Will Eren ever regain his titan power that was stripped from him during the kidnapping so he can continue to train with his favorite Captain?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [You're the Universe to Me.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2609789) by [xxDeja_Uchihaxx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxDeja_Uchihaxx/pseuds/xxDeja_Uchihaxx). 



> Okay, So You HAVE to go read You're the Universe to Me first:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/2609789/chapters/5815868
> 
> Or you will have no idea what's going on or how the story has developed or yeah. So please go read that first. This is the sequel to that. =] Please Enjoy! This will be a multi-chapter.

I picked Eren up in my arms and we walked inside the Survey Corps Barracks. Was it my imagination or did he seem a bit heavier. We both looked like shit to be honest. Erwin opened doors for us as we went and wove in and out of hallways, all the way to the exam room at the end of the base. I set him down carefully, lacing our fingers together after I did so. Erwin was digging through the cabinets and found a thin blanket to cover Eren with. It made him feel less exposed at least. 

I watched him closely as we waited for the doctor. The spark that I fought so fucking hard to re-light had diminished once again. It was just a glowing ember of itself now. Shit. His spirit had been crushed down there. How do I even begin to fix that? Was I even capable? It seemed so odd to see him like that. Black, blue and bleeding. I had grown so accustomed to his regeneration. He was filthy. I was going to wash him as soon as we were done here. The doctor finally appeared, the same one that had cut my cast off. He took one look at Eren’s leg, and it even made me cringe. 

“L-Levi…Scared.” I stood and walked closer to his side. He’d been through so much. I couldn’t even protect him from this pain. My stomach was churning just from being in the room.

“Hey, it’ll be alright.” I softly stroked his head. “Your hair has grown back now. It looks cute.” He blushed slightly. At least he still had that part of him. I began talking to him, distracting him as they wrapped his leg in the cast. At least it didn’t need set. “Your eyes are pretty damn cute too.”

“Levi!” He was hot red, and he squeezed my hand tightly. 

“What? Am I not allowed to tell my boyfriend that?” A shade redder if that was possible. He winced for a second and I rubbed his head. “Sorry. I wish I could help more. I just don’t want to push you…” he nodded and I brought his hand up to mine and kissed it.

“Thanks Levi.” He was choking back tears again. I wasn’t sure if it was from the current pain or from the memories, but he wiggled to the side of the exam table and held onto my arm. 

After a few minutes, the doctor was finally finished. He handed me a bottle of medicine for Eren, and I assured Erwin that I could handle him and took him to the showers after grabbing us both a change of clothes. I carefully wrapped his cast up in a protective cover that they hadn’t bothered to tell me about when I broke my arm, and gently set him on the bench in the changing room. Luckily it was just a calf down cast, not a whole leg cast, but I still needed to be careful with him. I took the jacket off of him and threw it in the   
trash and he frowned.

“I’m sorry Levi.” He was bare underneath the jacket and he shivered.

“Don’t be. I don’t ever want to see that jacket again. It’s no big deal.”

“No…I’m sorry you have to take care of me like this.” He sounded like a little kid with the sniffles not wanting their mommy to take dote over them. I ruffled his hair.

“Don’t be Eren. I love you. I’m here for you. Like I said before. Through thick and thin. I don’t mind taking care of you.” I ran my fingers over his face and he shuddered and pulled   
away slightly. 

“I-I’m sorry. I’m just.” Fresh tears started and I smiled softly and pulled him close. 

“Shhhh. I know. I understand.”

“Levi! I just…I pictured it as you! I closed my eyes and pictured you. So maybe it would go by quicker, but it was so awful.” He was sobbing now. His words ripped through me harder than I expected. Tears formed in my own eyes and I couldn’t hold them back. He felt them run down his shoulder. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to upset you!” I pulled him   
closer. I wanted to squeeze him and hug him so tight, like I had when we’d made love, but he was so broken right now. 

“No! It’s just…the thought of anyone doing that to you makes my blood boil! Don’t blame yourself. It wasn’t your fault.” I put an arm’s length in between us and looked him in the eyes. “Okay?” He nodded. “Let’s get this filth scrubbed off of both of us, yeah?” He simply nodded again and I lifted him up again, I had him hold onto the soap as I struggled to balance holding him and turning on the water at the same time. In a way, I was scared to actually see what was under the bloody crust. He was averting his gaze from me. 

“Hey…listen.” The water was pouring over us now and I winced as it hit the wound on the back of my head for the first time. Red was swirling down the drain, like an attempt to wash the whole incident away. I simply sat us down on the shower floor, leaning him up against me. “Whatever you don’t want me touching, just speak up. I need to know. Okay. If you feel uncomfortable. Anything, Just-“ He agreed and leaned his head against my shoulder. He was still crying. I could see his tears mixing with the droplets of water in the shower. 

“I know everything is all fucked up now Levi!” He screamed it and smacked the shower floor. “I’m terrified! I shouldn’t be! It’s YOU! You won’t hurt me!” He was sobbing, screaming and clawing at me. “Just. Just wash me. Please. I trust you. We can go from there. Hold me.” I slowly began washing him, starting with his face and hair. Everything from the day, all the dried blood….everything that was leftover was slowly and meticulously being washed away. I slowly moved to his neck and shoulders, washing all the way down. Eventually I arrived at his waist and I stopped and gave him a hesitant look.

“Eren?”

“Please…Levi. Just make me clean.” His nails were digging into my arm and I soaped up my hands carefully washing him. His eyes were on me the whole time. “As long as it’s you. It can ONLY be you.” I finished washing him and felt him tremble beneath my fingers as I did. I quickly washed myself, not wasting the precious time I needed to focus on him. I pressed a kiss to his forehead. I stood up and cut the water off, picked him up and carried him out. Then I proceeded to dry us both off and dress us, which I was going to have to get used to with his cast. Carrying him up the stairs was fun, but I had managed somehow. When I entered our bedroom with him in my arms, I felt like I was carrying my bride across the threshold. I was just happy he was alive. I was relieved that the bed had been made. I went to peel back the covers and he whimpered.

“Levi…can I brush my teeth. Please.” I completely understood.

“Absolutely. I think I’ll join you.” I let him lean against me as we brushed together. He was a little too vigorous with his brushing, but he got the job done nonetheless. I picked him back up and we returned to the bed. I laid him down softly. The first rays of the sun were beginning to come up now, and they made the bruises on his face stand out. I climbed into bed beside of him and gently draped an arm around him. 

“L-Levi. I’m really sorry about everything.” I simply shook my head and ran my fingers though his hair.

“I told you to stop apologizing. We are both worn out. Everything is fine now. You don’t have anything to worry about Eren. Just rest.” I reach him one of the tablets out of his medicine bottle and he chewed it. I snuggled up close to his side and breathed in his scent. I closely looked for clues and hints that he was uncomfortable, but he made no signs of moving. I even pressed a kiss to his cheek and he smiled at me. “Rest.”

 

The following day

Levi’s POV

I was exhausted. It was for a number of reasons really. I had pretty much NOT fallen asleep at all. My brain never stopped thinking as I obsessed over Eren. I would have liked to have said that he’d slept peacefully in his drug induced slumber, but I was wrong. He woke up every hour or so, whimpering or screaming either from pain or from a nightmare. He clung to me, but he would never reach for my lips. I would simply lay there, hold him and stroke his hair until he dozed back off. His fingers were twitching again. Another sign a dream was starting up. I sighed and went ahead and shook him awake. His eyes popped open and he looked at me sleepily.

“Hey, you were restless. Maybe you want to stay up for a bit?” He tried to speak, but his voice came out in hoarse shreds and he put his hand over his throat. I frowned and drew him closer to me. I was relieved when he didn’t pull away. He just nodded. We stayed there for a few minutes as we sat comfortably in the silence, but my mind was wondering again. I needed to DO something. At least be productive and show him I cared. “Hey, I’ll be back in a few minutes. Sit tight.” His eyes questioned me, and he even made a motion to grab my arm, but I simply kissed his forehead and slid on my shoes. “5 minutes tops!” I promised. He nodded again and drew the covers back up to him. I grabbed my key off of the hook by the door before heading out. My stomach sank as I left the room, but I made the walk down to the kitchen and put the kettle on to boil. I grabbed a brown tray from the cupboard and placed two cups on it, along with tea, sugar, and after unlocking the special supply cabinet for officers, a rare commodity. Honey. I scrounged the kitchen for anything he may eat. I added a couple rations of bread to the tray. I heard footsteps and looked up to see Hanji staring at me.

“Heichou! How are you feeling? How’s Eren?” I looked at the floor. I was silent. How do I even respond to that heavy of a question? He’d screamed so much his voice went out.   
That’s how Eren was. I just sighed and looked back up.

“He’s…we both had a rough night. I’m making him tea. Trying to find him something to eat.”

“Oh! Well here!” She placed a basket on the counter in front of me and my eyes couldn’t believe the sight. “Take as many as you want!” Raspberries. Fresh fucking raspberries in the middle of winter. My eyes were wide.

“How?” 

“Someone in a far town is experimenting with a ‘greenhouse’! You can grow them in the winter! It stays warm all year! I got a basket of them this morning with a get well soon card.”

“Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“No! Help yourself! Anything that will cheer Eren up!” My heart sank. I don’t think anything would cheer him up, but maybe it would make his day a little better. I rinsed the berries in the sink and gently placed a couple handfuls in a bowl on the tray. The kettle was whistling now and I added it to the arrangement.

“Thanks Hanji! Feel better!” I ran up the stairs. Hopefully my chit chat hadn’t taken any longer than 5 minutes. I cracked open the door and relief swept over me. There was Eren, just how I’d left him.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to take so long.” He opened his mouth to speak again, but once again nothing. He put his hands over his face in frustration. “Hey, it’s okay. I sat the tray on the nightstand and sat beside him. “I’ve been with you long enough to not even need words to communicate brat. We get each other like that.” He peeked over his hands at me, as if instantly understanding. “Besides, it’s just temporary. I brought you some tea with honey. Maybe it’ll help a little?” His mouth dropped open, and for a moment, I wondered if he’d ever tasted honey before. 

“Have you had honey before?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. He shook his head no. Well this was going to be a big treat for him. Maybe this would turn out to be a good day after all. 

I had him sit up as I adjusted the pillows behind his back. He seemed pleasantly comfortable now as he eyed the tray in excitement. “Hanji gave us raspberries too.” I added as I showed him the bowl. He was smiling. It almost broke me. I drizzled a little honey onto a raspberry while the tea steeped. “Don’t eat the raspberry. Just suck the honey off. Enjoy it.” I ordered as I placed it up to his lips. He was blushing, but he sucked on the sticky berry and his eyes lit up from the sweetness. “Good?” He nodded frantically. “More?” Another nod and I let him finish the poor raspberry off before drenching another one. The tea was ready now, and I was generous as I swirled the honey into his cup. “It should help soothe your throat.” I was odd hearing my own voice so much, but I enjoyed taking care of him for once. He pretty much babysat me when my arm was broken. He reach out a shaky hand and grabbed a raspberry and dipped it in a stray drop of honey and held it to my lips. I smiled and gave it a quick lick before sucking into my mouth and kissing his thumb. 

“Mhmm thanks.” He was blushing harder now. It was almost like we were starting over completely, yet we were still familiar with each other. The whole thing was odd. I reach his cup to him after I made sure it was cool enough to drink and he took a sip, hand returning to his throat with a pained look after he did so.   
It must’ve hurt. Why wouldn’t it? I scooted the tray back to the nightstand momentarily as he sipped slowly on his tea, and I took his other hand in mine. Each sip got a little easier. Eventually he finished it off, and I asked him if he wanted another cup. He just shook his head no. 

“More berries then? Or bread? We should both eat probably…” He nodded at that remark and I brought the tray back. I fed him another raspberry and he reach with another shaky hand and dipped into the honey again, he went to feed it to me and MISSED. Right onto my cheek. He pushed the berry to my mouth and I ate it. He wanted to apologize, but I just chuckled. 

“You got me sticky, brat!” I saw for a moment, a look of his past self, a hope, a glimmer. I knew what I wanted him to do and I waited patiently, but I wasn’t going to force him. I slowly reach for the cloth napkin, giving him time to act if he so desired, if not, no hard feelings. He put his hand on mine and leaned forward, making the tray rattle and I felt his tongue against my cheek. He swiped the honey off with a couple licks and quickly pulled back. I was happy and I smiled at him. He was still red, and he licked his lips. I wanted to kiss him so bad that it hurt to hold myself back, but I would for his sake. 

“Which do you like better? The honey or me?” I teased. He just smiled back at me and I tore off a piece of bread for him. Closer. We were closer now. Bit by bit we finished our mid-day meal, and we snuggled back up in bed. I gave him another tablet to help cope with the pain, and just like the night before, draped one arm across him. Not too invasive. Not too restrictive. He could get away easily from me if he wanted to do so. I truthfully didn’t think he wanted to. I could practically hear the gears turning in both of our heads. They. Just. Needed. To. Stop. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Why had everything gone to shit? I was frowning and stroking his chest without thinking. I felt him shift in the bed and I looked over to see him turn. I half expected him to turn away. I saw him wince for a second as he shifted his leg slightly, but then suddenly, his eyes were next to mine, and he was right next to me. His arm was over me. I felt the warmth of his body radiating next to mine.

“Eren…is this okay with you.” He simply nodded. I wanted to ask so many things. But I guess they were better left unsaid. He couldn’t answer them right now anyway. Funny how things worked out. I was staring in his eyes and they began to fill with tears. I had already prepared myself for this. I scooted up a litter higher and held my arm out, letting him draw closer if he so wished. And I was thankful that he did. He rested his head right up against me as he cried and his arms clung to me. He tried to cry silently at first, but his silent cries turned into sobs. They were gut wrenching sobs that shook both of us as he cried. I wished I could have taken his pain way. I wished I could have gotten there sooner. I had constantly wished for many things since I’d found him chained to that wall, but I couldn’t undo the pain that was caused. What I could do was help mend the damage. Bit by bit. Eventually kiss by kiss. When he was ready. At least he was letting me hold him now. 

“S-Sorry.” He rasped out. 

“Stop fucking apologizing Eren.” Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say to him. Another sob shot through him. “Cry. Cry all you need to. You don’t need to apologize to me when you break down because I get it. You are human. Those people did awful things to you and they suffered the consequences for it. And here you are having to deal with the aftermath of all the shit they put you through. Doesn’t seem fair to me. So, just don’t worry about it. I told you before I’m here through thick and thin. I’ll be your fucking shoulder anytime you need it.” He agreed and hung onto my shirt. Whether he was running out of tears, whether he was calming down, or whether his medicine was taking hold, I wasn’t quite sure. I just knew his sobs eased and his grip on my shirt lessened. I kissed his forehead, like I did every time. Almost like a reward for making it through another heartbreaking situation. 

“You okay?” He nodded and I wiped his tears away and he blinked sleepily. So it was his medication then. “Medicine making you drowsy?” He nodded again, slowly this time and rubbed his eyes. I was tired myself. It was half past 3, but hell I could go for a nap. Running on no sleep with Eren in my arms like this pretty much called for it. “How about a nap with me then?” He looked up at me and yawned. 

“Okay.” His voice was still pretty hoarse, but it seemed a little better. Maybe when we got back up, he’d let me make him another cup of tea. 

“Sweet dreams Eren.” I pulled the blankets up over us and I felt him shudder.

“L-Levi.” It was barely audible, but I heard the raspy whisper.

“Yeah.”

“D-Don’t stop holding me like this, okay?” The expression on my face softened and I kissed his forehead again. “P-Please.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” And right like that, in a matter of an afternoon together, my arms were his safe place again. Right before I closed my eyes I saw something glimmer on in the afternoon sunlight, partly buried in the covers, and partly sticking out. A little set of gold wings. They pulled at my heart. We were going to make it back to that Eren. I’ve got all the time in the world.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They awake from their nap by an envelope being slid under the door. Hmmmm ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always encouraged <3

Levi’s POV 

I was startled awake by an envelope being slid under the door. I refused to move however from my comfortable position under Eren. He was so warm, and I could smell the familiar scent of his hair as I leaned my head down closer and pressed a kiss to his head gently. Most of the day had blurred together. The sun was starting to set now, and Eren stirred slightly against me. He had slept soundly through our nap and I was thankful. I was also thankful I had managed to get a little rest myself, no matter how selfish it may have seemed, I needed to be able to function on some level to take care of him properly. My eyes shot over to the letter. The seal on the back gleamed in the orange light. It was Erwin’s seal. I knew it well. I sighed, knowing he was probably summoning me for a meeting. Great fucking timing Erwin. I threw the thought to the back of my head, if it’d been urgent they would have knocked. 

My eyes returned to the warm body pressed up against me. His bruises hadn’t changed. They hadn’t faded one bit. Maybe I should have captured that damn MP in the lab coat? My heart dropped. God. What if he knew the answers?! I ran my fingers through my hair. No, that wasn’t the mission. I sighed. Poor Eren. I just wish things had turned out differently. It hurt me to see him so battered and heartbroken and I thought for a moment if he was truly upset at me for not arriving sooner.  
It was like a battle I couldn’t win with my mind. I always lost. It was my fault. I couldn’t stop what had happened. I should have pushed Erwin to go faster, should have went on without Mike. Should have…

“Levi-“ He’s awake.

“You were pulling my hair. Is everything okay?” Shit. I loosened my grip and went back to rubbing it like before. Of course I’d end up doing something to hurt him like that after being so careful.

“I’m sorry…I let my thoughts get the better of me…” Surely he’d turn from me now. I let my other hand fall loosely at his hand and he took it in his.

“Are you alright now?” He whispered. His voice was still hoarse, and it cracked as he spoke. He stayed planted against me and I sighed in relief. I squeezed his hand.

“Yeah, I’m fine now. I’m sorry I woke you.” I ruffled his hair and he looked up at me and stretched. Apparently it’d been the wrong move, because he winced and bent back to my side. The doctor probably could’ve stood to look at his ribs last night, but there’s not much you can do for cracked ribs besides rest.

The thought of a hot bath with Eren crossed my mind, but left as soon as it arrived. It was too soon for that. It may help his aches and pains though. I ran my fingers through his hair again while his ragged breaths subsided.

“Eren, how about a bath?” I felt his hand tense in my shirt and I continued to stroke the brown locks, disheveled from fighting with sleep all day. “I’ll let you relax, and I’ll just sit beside the tub and keep you company. We can prop your leg up on the side of the tub.” His fingers relaxed and he nodded against me. “Okay then, I’ll go start the bath for you.” 

He slid over and watched me as I walked into the bathroom and put the stopper in. I lit a few candles after I did, watching the diminishing rays of light outside. The sound of  
water pouring into the tub was soothing. It usually meant relaxation. Hopefully this experience would be for him. I walked back into the bedroom as I waited for it to fill and grabbed the letter off of the floor. I looked over to Eren. He was playing with his bracelet, watching it shimmer in the light. “Do you still like it?” His eyes turned to me with a questioning look and a frown. I chuckled and patted his head. “I’m kidding, you never take it off.” He smiled and held it up to the light again. We both watched it glimmer. It was beautiful as the different colors of sunrays bounced off.

“Of course I never take it off.” He said in almost a whisper. I’d definitely have to make him some more tea after his bath, it seemed like it hurt him to talk. “I love you Levi, and it’s a part of you I can keep with me.” I went numb. I felt like the breath had been kicked out of my chest. The letter in my hands fell to the floor and all I could think about was how my heart ached for Eren. How much love I had for him. How much this fucking hurt. How I wanted to kiss his pain away. It took all of my composure to not tremble as I sat on the edge of the bed and ran my fingers over the golden wings. 

“I love you too Eren. More than you could ever begin to imagine.” He smiled and it was a true heartfelt smile. Almost like I had pulled a tiny bit of pain out of his heart and threw it away. Had I accomplished something? He turned his head towards me and our eyes met. My heart was pounding. It was ACTUALLY pounding. This damn brat was making my heart beat this hard? I was this excited over a smile? I wanted so badly to touch those lips, to touch his face besides just washing it. I reach out a steady hand, praying he wouldn’t turn away. Praying I wouldn’t spoil this small victory and I touched his cheek. He closed his eyes for a split second, but opened them back up and pressed his face back against my hand. I felt the muscles in my face relax and he smiled again. 

“You are smiling, Levi.” I felt cheesy. I felt like it was stupid to be happy about touching my lover’s cheek, but hell I was ecstatic! I wanted to touch his lips too, but that was too far. I was pleased with this much of an accomplishment. I let my senses flip back to the tub, it only sounded about 1/3 of the way full now. Water was slow here, but at least it was warm.

“It makes me happy to see you smile, brat. Is that wrong?” I asked as I stroked his cheek. He grinned again.

“No. We can keep going all night like this.” He was struggling with his words now. The last ones were followed by a slight cough.

“Shhh. Try not to talk as much. Let your throat heal. I’ll make some more tea after your bath.” He frowned for a second and nodded, then to my surprise he turned and kissed my palm. I’d felt his lips against my hand. I also felt my cheeks turning pink. Damn. His were as well, so I simply shoved to the back of my mind as an afterthought. His cheek kept getting warmer against my hand, and it made me smile wider. His expression changed suddenly, like his thought pattern had flipped. Had I done something wrong? Maybe my unpleasant smile had put him off. I let the smile slip slowly from my lips, and my hand slowly slid down as well, but he kept staring at me, but he was deep in thought. He sat up with a little bit of a struggle, and I helped hold him steady. We looked out the window to see the glowing sun, just barely above the horizon now. Purples, reds, pinks and oranges flooded into the room. He picked my hand up again and put it on his face, on his blushing cheek. He didn’t even break our eye contact as he did so.

“Eren?” I moved my hand a little, touching his hair and running my hand down the side of his face back down to his cheek. He smiled again and nodded, which caused me to smile. We were just going through the motions. Who knew what he was thinking about? His cheek was starting to get warmer as he leaned closer to me, and he put his hand on my free hand on the bed. For a split second, I saw a spark of vivid green, and as he leaned closer, so did I, although I did more cautiously. My hand was frozen on his cheek. No way. He brought our lips together and my heart fluttered. I didn’t dare move. It wasn’t anything more complicated than a closed mouth kiss, but God, it made me soar. I could feel his hand trembling, and I ran my fingers gently over it. I knew he was scared. I was terrified myself. This was a BIG step. We had just torn down a wall. Everything around me for those sweet five seconds was Eren. His smell, his warmth, his feel. We finally pulled apart and I didn’t think I could ever frown again. He was smiling gently too, yet I could tell there was a tinge of fear. I pulled him into a hug and kissed the top of his head. We just sat there for a moment, reflecting on the triumph, letting our breathing and our pulses get back to normal. 

After a few minutes, I realized the bath was still running and I sprung up and ran into the bathroom to find the water overflowing. I let a little water out of the tub, and threw some towels down. I’d clean it up later, Eren was my priority now. He was smiling. Obviously he’d found it funny that we’d gotten so caught up in our kiss we’d let the bath spill over. I picked him up, carried him into the bathroom and undressed him gently. Then, I covered his cast and carefully sat him down in the water, making sure to prop his leg up on the side of the tub as I did so. He sighed as the warmth washed over him, and I felt relieved that maybe he could relax for a while. I pulled up a stool to the side of the tub and after rolling my sleeves up, I began wetting his hair. His eyes were closed and he just smiled and let me do as I pleased. I washed his hair twice, carefully taking my time. There really wasn’t a need to rush. His wet hair stuck to his face and it was simply beautiful. I kissed his forehead and he cracked an eye open. I was leaning on the edge of the tub, waiting for him to finish his soak. 

“Take your time, no rush. Just don’t let the water get cold.” I said softly and he smiled again, closing the eye back. I calmly sat there, looking through the ripples at his slowly healing skin. It was still an odd thought to process for me. That he wasn’t indestructible anymore. He nearly dozed off, and I had to nudge him because his leg had almost fallen in. “Eren, do you want me to wash you? Or do you want to do it yourself?” He sat up slightly in the water.

“You can…if you don’t mind.” He whispered softly. I simply smiled and grabbed the soap from the tray and began washing him. Just as I had done in the shower, I started at his shoulders, and slowly worked my way down. His face was red by the time I reach the toes on his un-injured leg. 

“Why are you blushing?” I asked with a smile. “I thought you had said nurses did this all the time, remember?” That made him blush harder. “I’m just teasing.” I pulled the plug on the tub, and grabbed a towel from the linen closet. It was hard at first, but I’d managed to lift him out of the tub, without getting his cast wet and without having him slip. I wrapped the towel around him and pulled him close, letting him lean all of his weight against me as I dried him. Afterwards, I carried him to the bed. I grabbed him clean clothes, and helped him dress, and he gave me a funny look. 

“What?”

“The letter you dropped earlier. You aren’t going to read it?” He struggled with the words. I sighed. It wasn’t a top priority. The only thing that really came to mind, was making Eren some more tea, and finding leftovers from dinner before Sasha snagged them all, but I could see the worry in his eyes now.

“I got a little distracted, remember?” I said with a grin. I crouched by the bed and picked up the letter and sure enough, it was Erwin’s seal. “It’s from Erwin.” Eren frowned and I sat beside him on the bed. The smell of soap was drifting through the room and it was nice. I would probably pop into the showers while I was downstairs after while and take my famous 3 minute shower. I broke the seal on the letter, and read it. 

 

Levi,

I need you to come to HQ tomorrow. Preferably before noon. Prepare for a long meeting as we will have quite a few forms to fill out, ect. I will provide lunch of course. 

Commander Erwin

 

I put my hand to my temple and sighed. Eren looked worried and I laid the letter on the nightstand.

“It’s nothing to worry yourself over really. Just meetings all day tomorrow.” He frowned and I felt a weight on my lap suddenly. He’d thrown his arms over my lap, holding onto me.

“Levi…Do you have to?”

“Unfortunately. I’m sorry. There’s no talking Erwin out of his stupid meetings, no matter how shitty the timing may be. I’ll have someone come up and sit with you though. I wouldn’t leave you alone. Maybe your sister is available?” He nodded into my lap and I patted his head. “Listen. I’m going to run downstairs and take a quick shower, make some tea for you, and see if I can find Mikasa while I’m down there alright? Maybe a half hour, 45 minutes tops? Will you be okay for that amount of time?” He nodded against me and I stood up, grabbing his sketchbook and supplies that he’d gotten for Christmas. “Here, go to town while I’m gone.” I kissed him on top of the head again and grabbed the tray from earlier as well as a change of clothes before heading downstairs. 

I dropped the tray off in the kitchen, locking the honey up, before I headed to shower. My 3 minute shower ended up taking 5 minutes, because I’d gotten lost in thought again. I wonder what Erwin wanted to talk about anyways? Probably about the incident with Eren. I sighed, dried off, and threw on some clothes. I found Jean in the kitchen as I went to scrounge leftovers for Eren and myself. A few berries wasn’t going to cut it tonight. 

“Hey, Jean, anything good to eat?” He snorted at the comment.

“Yeah. Right.” I frowned as I filled the kettle up with water again. We had an uncomfortable silence for a bit, and I knew that question was coming. I just knew it. The same one Hanji asked, the one that would send me reeling into my own thoughts. “How are you holding up, Heichou?” I paused at the question. I wasn’t sure how to handle it. I looked over at Jean, chewing happily on an apple. 

“Alright I suppose…Actually…no that’s a lie. My mind keeps wandering. I’m trying my best to take care of Eren….but…I don’t know…” I set the kettle aside and dug through the cabinets finding some potatoes. I washed them and began peeling them. Jean nodded without replying, silently encouraging me to go on. “I feel like it’s my fault I didn’t get it him sooner…like I could’ve stopped it.”

“How?” That word. That one fucking word. Jean was a piece of shit after all. I had put on a pot of water to boil also and began dicing the potatoes. How? 

“What do you mean HOW?” I hissed. He took another bite and stared at me as he sat there.

“How could you have gotten there any sooner? If I remember right, everything we did that day was as rushed as possible. If we would have skipped any of it, the plan probably would have failed and we may have never found Eren.” I stopped chopping for a second and choked back a tear. Jean was right. There’s no way I could’ve found Eren on my own. No way in hell. I began chopping again and grimaced as I nicked my finger. Shit. I pulled away before I started bleeding on the potatoes. I couldn’t even cook right. 

“You have a point Kirstein…” I put my finger in my mouth and grimaced at the metallic taste. 

“So stop blaming yourself and blame those idiots that kidnapped him in the first place.” I nodded and threw the knife in the sink. I’d managed to chop enough potatoes for my liking. I dug through the drawer and found a band aid and wrapped my finger up. I drained the boiled potatoes and set the kettle on the fire now. I added milk and a few spices and other ingredients to the pot. “Is that for Eren?” 

“Well it was. But I made way too much. Would you like a bowl Jean?” His eyes lit up.

“Sure!” 

“Just let me fix up the tray first and you are welcome to it. By the way, have you seen Mikasa?” I replaced the spices back into the cabinet and took the honey back out, slipping the lock back on. I settled two bowls down on the tray and filled them up with my creation. Hopefully it tasted good. It’d been a long time since I had cooked. I frowned as I thought back to Farlan and Isabel waiting patiently for me to serve them as they waited at our little beat up table. It wasn’t much, but it was home back then. I stacked two teacups on the tray, along with some bread. I threw on silver wear, the kettle, the tea, napkins, and last but not least the honey. 

“She was out on the porch a few hours ago, who knows if she’s out there now. Wow, he’s lucky!” I smiled as I looked down at the tray. No I was. Lucky that he was still alive. Lucky that we HAD made it in time. 

“Thanks Jean. Have a nice night! Enjoy the soup. Hopefully it tastes alright.” 

“Thanks! Night Heichou!” I glanced out on the porch on the way through the halls, and sure enough, there she was. I sat the food down on the table by the door and cracked it open. 

“Mikasa, can I talk to you for a moment?” She was leaning over the banister and she turned and blinked at me. She wasn’t budging. I sighed and walked out on the porch. I really didn’t want to leave Eren’s food out, but I could see it through the window at least. 

“What do you want?”

“Can you sit with your brother tomorrow? I have to meet with Erwin. He needs someone to be with him….” She shot me a look.

“Is your meeting so damn important that you can’t skip it?” What was that attitude about?

“What are you talking about? It’s probably ABOUT the incident, and unless I go and fill out the damn paperwork, they could lock me up for murdering 8 people, unless that’s what you want?!” I yelled. Where had that even come from? “Do you want them to take me away from Eren?” 

She had tears forming in her eyes now. Maybe I had pushed it a little too far?

“No! I want him to be happy! I just…No one will tell me what’s going on!” I raised my eyebrow at her.

“What do you mean?”

“I blacked out when I saw him there in the floor with you, and everything is just a blur. No one will tell me what he said or what happened to him. I feel like they are trying to protect me, but it’s not helping!” I felt tears stinging my eyes again. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair.

“Mikasa…Eren…He was abused that night. They tortured him. And they did awful things to him that I can’t even begin to explain.” Tears began running down her face and she drew her scarf close. “They broke his leg, and they injected him with some type of drug that’s stopped his regeneration. That’s why we haven’t been down to see anyone. The stairs are a pain.” I pointed to the tray on the table. “I’m bringing him up meals actually.” She pulled me into a hug and I froze up. I didn’t enjoy people touching me that I didn’t really trust. But she was emotional right now, so I let it go. 

“I’m sorry Levi…

“Don’t worry about it. Just…Can you sit with him tomorrow? And bring him lunch and maybe dinner up? I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone.”

“Absolutely! I have stable duty, but I should be done by 10, will that work?”

“Yeah, just for God’s sake shower before you come up. I don’t want our room smelling like the wrong end of a horse.” I said with a laugh. I turned the handle to the door and walked inside. I grabbed the tray and headed up the stairs. 

“Eren! It’s me!” I turned the handle and walked in, finding him slowly sketching on the bed with a concentrated look on his face. He sat the sketchbook aside and peered at the tray. 

“Dinner is served! And tea.” He smiled and sat back against the pillows again as I sat beside him like before. “The soup is HOT. That doesn’t mean put it all in your fucking mouth at once. Got it?” He frowned and nodded and I took a spoonful of it and blew on it a couple of times before letting him taste it. His eyes lit up.

“This isn’t military served is it?” he whispered. 

“No, I made it. Sorry if it’s shitty.” 

“It’s delicious!” The last word was almost a screech, but I smiled at it nevertheless. I took another spoonful and blew on it again, and fed it to him. He really did look like he was enjoying it. He looked down at my bowl and frowned. “Eat.” Was all he said. He was trying to be sparing with his words.

“You’ll be okay? Don’t burn yourself.” I handed over his spoon and took my own and began eating. Real food. It hit my stomach like a rock. When was the last time I’d had a decent meal? He tore off a piece of his bread and dunked it in his soup happily. 

“Thanks, Heichou!” He whispered. I nodded and we finished eating silently. Luckily the kettle kept the tea hot for a while. I poured us both a cup after dinner, and again, swirled honey into his. He smiled as he drank it and I sipped on my tea and just enjoyed watching him.

“Your sister is coming up tomorrow around 10:30 or so.” He nodded and sipped the last of his tea and handed me the cup. I set the tray aside and watched as he started rubbing his leg. “Do you want your medication?” He frowned and thought for a moment. “It doesn’t make you weak if you take it Eren. It’s here to be taken.” He nodded and I handed him a tablet and he chewed it up. Eventually, we turned down the covers, I blew all of the candles out except for one, and I slid underneath the blankets with him. So warm. 

He snuggled up to me like he had for our nap, and I was perfectly content that way. I wove my fingers in his hair and he sighed against me, relaxing at the touch. I watched as he traced shapes and words onto my chest, and didn’t really think anything of his. He turned his head to look at me, and I saw his eyes sparkle in the candlelight. His eyes were almost questioning me. 

“Hmmm?” He brought his face just a little closer to mine, and I closed the distance, bringing our lips together for the second time that day. Without thinking, my tongue brushed over his lower lip and he blushed, but he didn’t pull away, he merely hovered there. He tasted like tea and honey. I longed for a deeper kiss, but I would be patient with him. “Goodnight Eren. Sweet dreams.” He smiled and snuggled back up to me, relaxing once again to the sound of our hearts beating wildly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi visits Erwin, and spends some time with Eren later on <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter is so long T.T Sorry it took me forever to write, and it's a LONG read, Nearly 8K words? o.o but I felt like it needed to be one whole thing. (3 nights? 4 nights?) GAH anyways yeah. Comments are welcome :) Enjoys <3

Levi’s POV

I awoke around 8:30 to a peacefully sleeping Eren and groaned quietly as I rubbed my eyes. Our sleep schedule was off in a drastic way. I reluctantly nudged Eren and he cracked his eyes open. 

“No. Too early.” His voice sounded much better today to my relief. 

“It’s 8:30, brat. Wake up.” He opened his eyes up the rest of the way and yawned. He had a major case of bed head that needed addressed. I ran my fingers through it, trying to get the tangles out. 

“Mhmmm….” He shoved his face down into my shoulder. I nudged him gently again.

“Come on sleepy head. At least move over so I can get up.”

“No. I don’t want Erwin to have you all day.” I chuckled and rubbed his head for a minute. 

“I know, but that’s my duty Eren. I have to obey orders.” He sighed and eventually moved off of me and let me up. 

I started the bath and laid out my clothes as I waited for the tub to fill. I decided on my regular uniform, but I added a dress coat over top, instead of my cloak. I frowned at the bathroom, it wasn’t up to my standards of usual cleanliness, so I gave it a quick cleaning while I finished waiting. I threw my clothes into the dirty laundry and dipped down into the tub with a sigh. I thought about Eren immediately as I got settled beneath the warmth of the surface. He was pouting. I could practically feel it. I dropped below the surface of the water and submerged myself completely. It’s not like I wanted to spend the whole damn day with Erwin either. I had a boyfriend that needed me to take care of him. I rose back above the surface and began soaping up my hair, rinsing it quickly. I washed myself hastily and got out. Maybe if I hurried, I could sit with Eren for a bit before I left.  
I dried myself off and tossed my towel in the hamper, threw on my clean clothes, everything minus my boots. The straps of my gear took a few minutes as usual, but I never took chances with it if I was going to be away from the barracks for an extended period of time. I got the last strap secured into place and looked at the clock. 9:00. Mikasa would be here around 10 or 10:30, so we had a little time together. I walked up to the edge of the bed and found Eren with his head under a pillow. 

“Do you want to spend the hour we have together buried like an ostrich, or do you actually want to enjoy it with me?” He threw the pillow off and looked up at me. 

“An hour?”

“I’m not leaving until Mikasa gets here. Erwin can wait.” I wanted to say more. I wanted to say that my shithead of a ‘friend’ knew what happened to Eren. Well…he didn’t know everything yet. Not until I filled out my reports. But still, he should know that Eren was traumatized. His eyes were darting over me now and his face was turning crimson. “How about we set on the couch?” He nodded and I reach him his medicine before helping him over to the couch by the window. I sat on the end and he laid out and put his head in my lap, looking up at me. 

“There, that’s much better. I can see those stunning eyes of yours now.” I said as I ran my fingers across his cheek. He smiled and reach for my hand, which I gladly obliged in providing. We laced our fingers together and just set there comfortably in the warm morning sun. The bruises were starting to turn colors on his face now, which was a good sign. Hopefully they would start fading soon. He looked content as he sat there with me.

“So do you really think it’ll all be about paperwork?” he asked me finally as he fidgeted with a button on my jacket. I raised my eyebrow.

“Stop worrying about it. Usually our meetings consist of Erwin chewing me out for something, typically not taking care of paperwork in time, shoving an unnecessary stack of it into my hands, and then having a meeting about recent developments. Usually followed by lunch. The order may be a little skewed today, and we may even end up filling some of it out together if he proposes it, because we were working together that night. It’s easier to remember details when someone else was there. So, don’t be expecting me until late. Probably after dinner I’d imagine.” I finished with a sigh. He was frowning now as he looked up into my eyes. I ruffled his hair and bent over, hovering over his face for a moment before I pressed a kiss to his forehead. “If I didn’t have to I wouldn’t, but If I don’t get this taken care of, nothing good will come of it, okay? The military police are already on my ass about what happened with the last mission, so I better try and keep them happy. ” I think he finally caught my drift, because his eyes got wide and he started nodding. 

“Sorry…I forgot about that.” He looked away for a moment and I turned his face back.

“It’s fine. I understand, Eren. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to go either. I’d rather stay in bed with my gorgeous boyfriend all day than deal with dull, boring Erwin.” He smiled again and brought our hands up to cover his eyes. 

“What? Are you embarrassed?” I teased. I tried to lift our hands up to peak underneath and he pulled them back down. 

“Levi!” He was still smiling, but his face was bright red now, creeping all the way down his neck. I leaned over so he could feel my breath against his cheek and he lifted our hands up slightly to peak at me. I smiled and he pulled our hands back, revealing the deep scarlet across his cheeks. He turned his head slightly and brought our lips together. My heart thumped at the contact and I squeezed his hand as he pressed his lips harder against mine. He still couldn’t work up the courage to take it any further, but it was enough for me. Just sitting here with him was enough. We were still inches apart, breathing heavy, when we heard a knock at the door that startled us both. I peered up at the door.

“Come in!” Mikasa entered, shutting the door quietly behind her. Eren pulled our hands back over his face again to ‘hide’ his blush from his sister, which to be honest wasn’t going to happen, it was running all the way down his neck. “Thanks for coming.” I said with a nod.

“No problem. Hi Eren. Way to greet me.” 

“Hey, Mikasa.” He said quietly as he turned towards me away from her. I gave him a questioning look. 

“Hey now, is that anyway to treat your sister?” He shrugged and leaned against me further. “Do you want to stay here, or do you want to be in bed?” I asked as I ran my fingers through his hair.

“Bed…please.” He added as he looked up at me. He was already awake for the day, but I could see his eyes already beginning to cloud over with sleepiness. His medicine was taking hold on him. I stood up and lifted him, carrying him over to the bed with ease. I put him down on his side of the bed, but he struggled and wiggled until he was over on mine.

“Just have to be difficult don’t you?” I asked with a grin. He grabbed my pillow and pulled it close to him. I turned to Mikasa.

“Like I said yesterday, bring him something to eat later, he just took his medicine so he may go to sleep.” I looked over at him and he had his face buried in my pillow. 

“Eren.” He looked up at me over the pillow. “Kiss me goodbye?” I asked with a hopeful tone. I didn’t expect it. I actually expected him to squint his eyes and bury his face back into the pillow. Another shimmer of green and a slight nod. I bent over to him, and we pressed our lips together again. I leaned my forehead against his afterwards, just to let him have a lingering thought about me. “Rest up. I’ll be back before you know it.” He nodded and I slipped on my boots and headed for the door.

“Levi-“ I heard it just as I was walking out and I turned to see him leaned up over the pillow. “Be careful. See you tonight.” I smiled and waved at him and headed off. Hopefully this meeting really wouldn’t take all day, but I knew how Erwin was. The snow crunched beneath my feet as I headed towards HQ.

 

Eren’s POV

Levi’s smell lingered in the pillow and I breathed in deep. I sighed and looked over at Mikasa. She was giving me that look of pity I knew was coming. That’s why I didn’t want Levi leaving. I knew anyone that was there that night was going to treat me differently now. 

“Eren-“

“Listen. I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” I said it as I looked at the bracelet on my wrist. I could feel her eyes on me. 

“But-“

“Just don’t okay!” I knew this would happen. I contemplated opening the window and calling after Levi for a moment, but I didn’t want him getting in trouble with the Military Police over some damn reports. 

“Eren! Listen to me for once! It’s not good to keep it bottled up inside!” 

“How would you know, huh?! You bottle up every emotion there is!” I pulled Levi’s pillow closer, feeling the tears prickling at my eyes. No. Not without him here. He was my shoulder. “Besides, nothing like that has ever happened to you before! I rescued you before they even touched you!” 

“How could you say something like that?!” Those damn tears were beginning to spill out now. I couldn’t do anything to stop them.

“Because I’m a monster! The guy that tortured me pretty much drilled that into my fucking head! I haven’t even hardly talked to Levi about any of this yet! You think I’m going to talk to you?” She sat on the edge of the bed and I turned away.

“We used to be so close, Eren. What happened?” The hurt in her voice pulled on my heart, but I didn’t respond. I stayed as silent as possible as I laid there with Levi’s pillow and cried. I cried until I fell into an exhaustion and medication induced sleep.

 

Levi’s POV

I knocked on Erwin’s door and he invited me in within a few seconds.

“Welcome Levi! How are you?”

“I’m fine. What’s this about?” I asked as I sat down in front of his desk like I’d done so many times before. He sighed and leaned back in his chair.

“You always cut to the chase like that. Can’t we have some decent conversation for once?”

“Not today, maybe another time.” He sighed again and planted his arms on the table.

“Levi, we need to do recon.” I shot him a blank stare. No shit. We are the Survey Corps. That’s what we do. “I’ve got orders. They’ll put our funding on hold if we don’t go soon.” 

“And?”

“And I’m not dragging our men outside the walls without you. Plain and Simple.” I shot him a glare this time. I ran my hands through my hair. Of course this day would go like this.

“What’s the time frame?”

“We’ve got 16 days to leave the walls, so I am scheduling it for two weeks from today. Get your ass into shape and be ready.” I laughed and looked up at the ceiling. Was this it?   
Was this where I took out Erwin? 

“What’s so funny?” I was sure I was losing it. Two weeks to calm someone down that had been traumatized to the point of nearly breaking.

“I’m just thinking about how Eren will react. He’s obviously on medical leave again.” 

“He’ll just have to deal. I’m sorry, Levi.” I slammed my hands on the table.

“Do you have any idea how traumatized he is? What they did to him? They pretty much did everything but shove it up his ass Erwin, and even that I’m not sure of! Not to mention the actual torture! He won’t talk about it. Just the look in his eyes, it’s like his spirit’s been torn apart!” Erwin’s eyes softened for a moment and he looked at me.

“I apologize Levi, hopefully it’ll give you enough time to make some breakthroughs with him first.” He said. 

“You’re a fucking asshole, Erwin!” I slammed my fist on his desk. “Is that it? Is that all you wanted to tell me today? Because I’m not really sure I can look at your damn face any longer.” He frowned and handed me a stack of paperwork.

“Just get this filled out and turned in. And do it soon. Unless you want to end up in prison.” I grabbed the packet of papers and stormed out of the office.

Fucking Erwin. I walked out of HQ, gripping the papers tightly and walked through town. The hustle and bustle had died down after Christmas, but the regular vendors were still out. My heart was pounding in my chest. I couldn’t calm down. I spotted a stand across the street and pulled my wallet out of my pocket. 

“How can I help you sir?” The vendor asked as I looked over their products. The stand smelled strong. It smelled like my past, but I shrugged off the thought. I needed to calm down. I couldn’t handle breaking this news to Eren with these nerves. 

“A box of the cloves please. I’ll take two if you have something I can carry this in.” I plopped the mass of paperwork down on the edge of the stand.

“Certainly!” He pulled out two boxes and a bag. “Do you need matches?”

“Yeah.” I paid the man, slipped my papers into the bag and went on my way, stopping not a minute down the road to break into the package and rip one out. I put the cigarette to my lips and lit it, breathing in the sweet smoke. I leaned back against the wall as the nicotine rushed through me. How long had it been? Damn. An ounce of regret rushed through me for a second, but I threw it to the wind. I stood in the alley and enjoyed it, just standing there, trying to process the whole situation. Tears stung at my eyes and I took a long drag off of my cigarette and blew the smoke into the wind. That’s when it caught my eye. The entrance to the underground. Just what I needed to see today. 

“FUCK!” I screamed as I turned around and kicked the wall behind me. Why did all of this have to happen at one? All of these reminders of how much of a failure I was. I slammed my fist against the wall and slid down to my knees, unknowingly slumping down into a mud puddle. “Shit. This is just great.” I turned my head back to the opening and remembered my last time coming to the surface. 

“Farlan, Isabel, Eren. I fucked up. I let you all down.” My cigarette was on the ground now, smoking and burning away on its own. I heard footsteps but I paid them no attention until I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Levi…you did the best you could.” Of course he would follow me. I lashed out at the wall again, tears running freely down my face now. I didn’t bother to look up. Erwin crouched down beside me.

“You would say that. How’d you know I’d be here?” 

“How long have I known you? I know how you react and I know how you think.” I attempted to wipe my tears away, but more just filled their place.

“I’m a fuckup Erwin. I know that it’s not my fault we couldn’t get to Eren sooner, but I still feel responsible.” 

“Have you talked to him about it?” I shot Erwin a glare, but he was looking straight ahead, not at the sulking person to his side.

“Oh sure. Hey Eren, I know it’s not my fault those guys hurt you or anything but-“

“You know what I mean Levi. A lot of the time situations like that go undiscussed for too long, and it becomes the overwhelming factor. You need to address it, and move on. It will help both of you. It may hurt like hell right now for both of you to talk about it, but end the end it will help.” It made sense. In a fucked up way, it made sense. This wasn’t Commander Erwin, asshole right now. This was Erwin, my friend. “And for the record, I’m really sorry about the recon mission. If I didn’t have to issue orders I wouldn’t. Without you my whole team will get wiped out.” I pulled another cigarette from the box and lit it, breathing in deeply. 

“I understand. I’ll talk with him. Hopefully it’ll help. I just hate to see him hurting like that. It rips my fucking heart out. Hopefully two weeks will be enough for him to recover.” 

“You’ve said it yourself. Eren is strong. Who knows, maybe he’ll be strong enough to come along on the recon mission with us. If his titan abilities kick back in and his leg heals up.” I tilted my head up and looked up at Erwin.

“I didn’t even know that was an option.”

“You stormed out before we could talk about it at all.” Shit. He was right. I took another drag off of my cigarette. 

“Fine, I’ll come back and listen…just….can we keep it short today? My nerves aren’t doing so great.”

“Sure. You can leave at 12.” He pulled me up out the puddle and patted me on the back. I dried my face off and followed him back to headquarters.

We had a brief meeting about the recon mission. We talked mostly about Eren and his abilities. Hanji had been working on analyzing the formula of what exactly was in the syringe. I had explained a little more in depth about the situation I’d found Eren in. I also explained how he was doing now. Erwin mentioned briefly that I should consider setting up an appointment with a therapist about what happened that night. I refused, then he kindly (not so kindly) ordered me too. He said it seemed like I had PTSD, possibly from having to take so many human lives to save Eren. We concluded that if Eren can heal before the mission starts, he would be allowed to participate. If not he would have to stay behind. I thanked Erwin for letting me leave early, grabbed my things and began walking back to the Survey Corps building. I stopped at another stand on the way, and bought some roses for Eren. I was really surprised! Things were becoming more and more available with the greenhouse Hanji had mentioned before.

I knocked on the door to the bedroom and heard no reply. That was odd. Wasn’t Mikasa supposed to be with him? Maybe she went down to get him lunch? I let myself in and found Eren alone on the bed, still gripping my pillow, asleep. There was a note on the side table.

 

Levi, 

Sorry, Eren got a little upset with me, so I thought it better for me to leave. I’ll send someone up with his meals later. He’s sleeping now.

Mikasa

 

I crumpled the paper in my hand and threw it in the trash. I sat the flowers and my other things down on the dresser and went over to him. He looked tired. He had circles under his eyes, and he looked like he’d been crying pretty hard. Shit. What a day this was turning in to.

“Eren. Eren.” I shook his shoulder gently and he opened his eyes. He stayed in a semi-dream like state for a few seconds, but after he realized I was there he sprung up and wrapped his arms around my waist. 

“Levi. God I’m so glad you are back.” He had tears in his eyes suddenly and I rubbed his head. He looked down at my pants and frowned. “What happened? Wait…you smell weird again.” I sighed and bent over and kissed the top of his head. 

“Let me change and we’ll talk.” He reluctantly let go, and I threw my muddy clothes into the hamper, changing into my lounge pants. I kept my shirt on from earlier, seeing that it hadn’t gotten any mud on it. I grabbed a vase from the closet and filled it with water and set it on his nightstand. He gave me a puzzled look, so I handed him the roses before and climbed into bed with him, wrapping my arms around him. “Are you going to throw up because I smell strange? I promise the only people I’ve been around are two vendors and Erwin. I got some clove cigarettes while I was out. It’s been a stressful day.”

“You got these for me Levi?” He was looking at the bouquet in his hands, fidgeting with the wrapping. 

“Yeah.”

“Wow! Thanks, they are beautiful!” He put them up to his nose and smelled them. His cheeks were turning pink and he was grinning. I’m glad I had made him happy. Maybe I should have given him the roses after the bad news. “And no, it actually smells kind of good.” He blushed harder as he said it. “Not that I’m encouraging it. What happened?” I sighed and tugged on his sleeve. He plopped the roses down in the water and curled up with me.

“Well…I went to Erwin’s office as I usually do. I thought we were going to fill out paperwork again but he pretty much dropped some news into my lap that I didn’t really want to hear.” Eren’s eyes got wide and he reach for my hand, which I gladly took. “I’ve been ordered to go on recon in two weeks.”

“Oh.” I felt Eren drop his face against my chest and the tears started again. Wow, I was really good at making him cry. 

“But it doesn’t stop there.” His breath caught in his throat and he pulled at my shirt. I started rubbing his back for some source of comfort. “I went off on Erwin. Called him an asshole, and told him how worried I was about you. He slung a stack of paperwork at me and I stormed out.” He was crying harder now.

“Y-You didn’t have t-to. Levi.” I rubbed his head and stretched down to kiss the top of it.

“He pretty much told me it was not negotiable. I had to go. So I went out, and just had to burn off some steam, which is why I bought those cigarettes. I saw the vendor in the square and couldn’t think of anything else. I stopped in an alley to smoke and pretty much…” Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say. Shit. I’d already gone too far in my story. I   
couldn’t take it back.

“Levi?”

“I had a breakdown. I saw the passage to the underground…I thought about Farlan and Isabel. And then everything that’s happened with you. It just sent me over the edge. That’s when I got dirty. I fell in a fucking puddle. Erwin had followed me actually…”

“Levi, w-why didn’t you tell me you were feeling upset?” He looked up at me with pitiful eyes filled with tears and I wanted to gouge my heart out.

“Just let me finish my story and I’ll explain, okay?” I said softly as I rubbed his cheek. He nodded and I went on. “Erwin pretty much convinced me to follow him back to HQ and we talked some things over, so we decided that if you get your abilities back and your leg heals in time, you can come along on the recon. And...He also helped me realize that we really need to talk about what happened that night. It’s not helping either of us to keep it inside.” His eyes filled up with fresh tears and I took the initiative to carefully and softly bring our lips together. “Eren, you are so strong. We can do this. It’ll help both of us to get these feelings out I think.” He was clawing at my shirt now.

“O-Okay. I trust you, Levi.” That line again. I kissed him again and pulled him as close as humanly possible to me.

“I’ll go first. I’ve been feeling really fucking guilty.” As soon as I choked that last word out tears were starting. Shit. I thought I could keep my composure. “I feel guilty for not making it there on time. I feel guilty for not rushing Erwin with the plan. I feel guilty for not going ahead of Mike. I feel fucking guilty that I was so weak, that I was knocked out for God knows how long-“

“Levi! Just stop!” He yelled at me. Eren actually fucking yelled at me. It shook my nerves so bad, that I was tempted to light a cigarette right there. He pressed our lips together sweetly and my mind swirled. He was yelling and kissing me and the same time? “It wasn’t your fault! You did everything you could! You got there as quickly as possible! I know how my comrades work. I trust each one of them, and I know you guys did everything you could that night to get to me as quick as you could!” My heart was thumping. My eyes were stinging as tears were running. I was pulling him hard against me, almost too hard, but he was taking every movement, every kiss to his forehead, every buried tear in his hair.

“Just. Just-Let me apologize Eren? Please.” He was frowning.

“But-“

“Please!” He had his arms wrapped around my neck now, and I had my face buried in his hair.

“Fine, if you think it’ll help you. But you don’t have to! You didn’t do anything wrong, Levi.”

“Eren. I’m sorry I didn’t get there soon enough. I’m so sorry you got hurt. I’m sorry those men took advantage of you. I-I’m s-sorry I couldn’t protect you!” We were both crying now as we help onto each other for dear life. I’m glad I’d made those bastards pay with their lives, but in a way, it’d probably affected me somehow too. He made sure our eyes connected before he kissed me again. God, I wanted so badly to kiss him deeply, so I could pour my emotions into him. 

“It’s okay.” He whispered. His hands were in my hair and they felt wonderful, just him being there with me made me feel whole.

“I guess its m-my turn then?” He asked before he took a deep breath. “Well I-I-I” He was freezing up. I took his hand into mine and flipped him over, wrapping the blankets around us into a makeshift cocoon. Maybe he would feel safer like this? Maybe he would turn away? I couldn’t be for sure. His breathing eased a bit and he took another deep breath. “I was so scared Heichou. I was scared when they took me, but I was worried about you also. There was so much blood. It felt like a dream. I t-tried to stay strong through the torture. They cut me. They injected me with that stuff. They c-called me a monster!” He was sobbing now. They hit me to test how I would bruise. Then they broke my fucking leg!” I pulled him closer and I was pressing kisses to his face. Anywhere I could touch my lips was receiving a feathery light kiss. “Every time I’d scream or cry they’d hit me, or kick me. A-And then…when I thought it was over....I was about to pass out and whispered your name…” 

“Oh God, Eren.” I pressed a quick kiss to his lips and let him continue.

“They t-told me that you weren’t coming for me and I screamed that you were. Obviously that wasn’t the right thing to say. They said I had a crush on you and they-they-they. Levi! God! They just! T-They forced themselves in my m-mouth! And they touched me! You got there b-before.” He was almost in a full blow panic attack now. 

“Eren, Shhhh calm down. I fucking love you okay! They can’t hurt you anymore. Just breathe!” His face was stained red from crying and he looked like he was in pure agony from remembering. “I’m so sorry.” I whispered as I cradled him close to me. His breathing was slowing now and I was thankful.

“Levi…I love you. I’m sorry. I’m s-so scared. It’s n-not of you. It’s just the memories.” By that one sentence, I knew exactly what he meant, and exactly how he felt. 

“It’s okay. I’m scared too. I’m scared of hurting you. I don’t want to rush you. I don’t want to upset you in anyway, so anything that’s too fast or just anything I do that bothers you, just let me know. I’m not perfect Eren, you have to let me know when I fuckup.”

“No Levi, You are great. You’ve been so patient! I don’t deserve you!” He was clinging to me like we might shatter if he let go. 

“Don’t be stupid. Of course you do, brat.” I whispered before kissing his forehead. “We are perfect for each other. Destined to be together.” He sniffled and nodded and I gave him a hug. “Now it’s time we put all of this behind us. Sound good to you?”

“O-Okay.”

“Anytime you need to talk about it, of course I’m here, but from here on, it’s just going to get better. We aren’t going to bottle this shit up anymore. We have to be honest with each other. I didn’t want to hurt you by talking about it, but I can’t go crazy either.” 

“Sounds g-good.” His tears were slowing now, but he was still holding onto me. 

“Speaking of crazy…Erwin wants me to have therapy sessions…He seems to think I’m showing PTSD signs.” I mentioned quietly. Eren blinked and let go of my shirt. He instead threw his arms around me.

“F-from that night?!”

“Yeah. From those people I had to take out. From how I found you. But to be honest…I wouldn’t be surprised if I already had a mild case of it anyways. It comes with being in the military. I’ve seen so many of my comrades killed.” 

“God Levi. I’m sorry.” He turned his head into my neck and I could feel his hot face. 

“It’s fine. I figure it may do some good. I won’t be an ass to start off with at least.” He chuckled into my neck and I brought up an arm to wipe my own tears away. Damn. What a fucking day. I could feel Eren fidgeting behind me, rubbing his eyes as well. “So what happened with your sister, if you don’t mind me asking?” He pulled back and looked at me with a frown. “She left me a note. Said you were upset and went to sleep.”

“She tried to force me to talk about that night…” he said as he squeezed my hand. “I told her off. I told her if I hadn’t even talked to you about it, I sure as hell wasn’t going to talk to her about it.” I grimaced and ruffled his hair.

“You could have said it a little nicer, brat. She is your sister after all. She probably meant well, but I understand. I know how upset you are about it.” I gave him a hug and kissed him on the cheek. “Maybe try to write her a letter and tell her how you feel? Sometimes that helps me a little. It’s a lot easier than having a conversation with someone.” He nodded and continued leaning against me. 

“It’s just….what she said at the end that really upset me. She asked me why we weren’t close anymore, and I couldn’t think of a reason.” I could hear the hurt in his words. He loved his sister, but there was definitely a strain on their relationship.

“When you grow up siblings just start to…go their separate ways. Especially now. We’ve found each other. You are confiding in me more than her now. She doesn’t have to keep after you as much now and vice versa. Ever since you joined the scouts really I’ve had to keep tabs on you really. I’ve turned into your damn babysitter Jaeger.” I teased.

“Levi!” I chuckled against his neck and rubbed his back.

“But really. Writing her a letter may help. It’ll help you sort through your emotions and get your point across to her.” 

“I’ll do that.” Suddenly we heard a knock on the door and it startled both of us. Damn interruptions all the time! I carefully slid back a little, turning to face the door.

“Come in.” Jean entered carrying a tray. Eren hissed and I shot him a glare. 

“I brought lunch. I didn’t know you were back yet, Heichou. Mikasa told me to.”

“It’s fine. Thanks Jean.” He nodded and took his leave quickly, closing the door behind him. “What’s your deal Eren? He just brought you food.”

“He’s an ass.”

“He has a good reason to be. Anyways he apologized more or less. He helped with the mission to rescue you. He pretty much picked me up when I was falling apart that night, so 

"I owe a great deal to Jean.” I said as I grabbed the tray. Eren was silent as I started blowing on the soup.   
“  
What happen after they took me, Levi?” he said after he swallowed the first spoonful. I sighed and stirred the soup without thinking. 

“We’ll…I woke up and I was tied against Hanji. We eventually helped each other untie the knots and we came back here. Luckily Erwin was here looking over repair work being done to the base.” I blew on another spoonful of soup and fed it to him. I wasn’t even sure why I was feeding him. He was a grown up. He could handle hot soup himself, but it was just something for my hands to do. Another task to keep busy with. “So we told him what had happened and he told me to calm down and have a fucking cup of tea because I was upset.” I tore off a piece of bread and fed it to him. He picked up his glass of water himself and nodded. “Well I was bleeding pretty badly where they had hit me over the head, so he ordered Jean to bring me a first aid kit, and he ordered Connie to get me tea. I got pissed at Jean and told him off, because I thought he was an ass too.” He had set his water back down on the tray, so I gave him some more soup. It didn’t smell very good to be honest. “I told him I got bashed in the head and couldn’t reach it myself and he got smart too and started to patch me up. Connie brought the tea and left. I tried to drink it and ended up knocking it over and that was just sort of the breaking point…” I broke off another piece of bread and dipped it in the soup for him like I’d seen him do before. 

“You like it like that right?” He nodded and ate it up, looking at me with a frown.

“Anyways…I just broke down. Right there in front of Jean. I started crying.” 

“Wow. I’m sorry Levi. I didn’t mean to worry you like that…” I ruffled his hair.

“Like I said before, it’s behind us now. I’m just telling you this because you asked.”

“Well I started crying, and the dumbass thinks I’m upset over spilling the tea on the table.” Eren laughs and almost chokes and I smile. “So, naturally, I had to tell him what happened, and I added in the fact that he was an asshole and probably didn’t care anyways cause he hated us. Well…it turns out he doesn’t. And Eren…This doesn’t leave this room. I figure he knows I’m going to tell you, because he didn’t tell me in confidence or anything, but he said the reason he acted that way was because he was jealous. He said he was in love before, and the man he loved was killed in combat.” Eren’s eyes went wide and he pulled at his hair.

“No way. There’s no way. I knew they acted differently around each other…but.” 

“So you knew him then?” I asked with a frown. Eren’s face was filled with sadness, his memories were coming back to haunt him again and I could tell he just wanted to turn the rest of the food away. “One more bite and I’ll put it away.” He nodded and I dipped a big chunk of bread in the soup and fed it to him and set the tray aside. We leaned back against the pillows and he settled down into the warmth of my side, resting his head on my shoulder.

“I knew exactly who it was. I can’t believe I didn’t notice it when they were together. His name was Marco. Marco Bott. He died in the Battle of Trost. He was strong. I just can’t believe Jean. Wow.” 

“People show their feelings in odd ways Eren. Anyway, he told me that he lost someone he loved, and that he wouldn’t let that happen to me.” Eren grabbed my hand and I smiled as his warm fingers wrapped around mine. “He told me that he had put all of his trust in you and had grown pretty fond of you actually.” I looked down at Eren and he frowned.

“So stop being a shitty brat to him!” He squeezed his eyes shut and nodded.

“Got it!” I smiled and ruffled his hair again.

“So it took Erwin forever to come up with a plan, and Jean sat with me the whole time. I thought I was going to go crazy. I pretty much sat there and held onto your scarf the whole time. Erwin finally showed up, and said he wanted us all in black dress and made Jean go with me to change, in case I passed out from blood loss. But it was really because he knew I would have another breakdown once I got up here. I saw your drawings and cried again, found that damn note you left in the binder. I didn’t even know it was in there by the way.” I reach down and pressed a small kiss to Eren’s lips, making my heart jump.

“It was sweet. I won’t smear them.” I said with a smile. He beamed back at me and rested his head back on my shoulder. Exhaustion was becoming a huge factor in the day now for both of us. 

“Well I finally managed to get dressed and I went backstairs to wait. Everyone finally arrived. It was me, Mike, Hanji, Erwin, Jean, and Mikasa. I gave Mike your scarf so he could track down your scent, which he still has I think. The next time I go to HQ, I’ll ask Erwin about it, though…it may be a little ruined.” Eren’s eyes looked up at me and he had a puzzled look on his face.

“Well it sort of got some blood on it, and seeing that it’s been this long, I don’t know if it’ll come out now.” He frowned and snuggled back up to me with a sigh.

“It’s not a big deal Levi, it’s just a scarf.” I’d have to get him a new one. It was my blood that ruined it after all.

“Okay. So we headed out after you and finally got to the warehouse. We couldn’t find a way in besides the window at the top, and it was tiny. I was the smallest, so Erwin gave me a boost up and pushed me through. He said either find a door or find you. Whatever came first. The mission was to rescue you and take out the MP at the same time. I’ll spare you the details, but I snuck through the warehouse and took out 5 and the guy in the lab coat on the way down the stairs. I couldn’t find a fucking door anywhere.” I could feel his heart rate speeding up and I started pressing kisses to his face.

“Hey, this story has a happy ending. The prince rescues the…prince?” He smiled and laughed at my question. I wondered for a second if I had managed to stop his tears.

“So I took the keys from the last MP and unlocked the door. I just went crazy when I saw you and killed the other two. You know what happened from there.” He simply nodded and kissed my cheek. 

“Thanks for telling me. I’m sorry I made you worry.”

“It’s okay. It comes with the territory of loving someone so deeply Eren.” 

“Why do you always say everything right?” He asked as he looked up at me with those stunning eyes. Those eyes that I could find, even in the dark. The eyes that I lived for in this hell of a world that we called home. I simply shrugged and hugged him, pressing another kiss to his forehead. It was my favorite spot lately. There was no pressure there. No need for him to reciprocate anything, but there was still the feeling of my lips on his skin, just enough to let him know I was there and ready.

“Levi…C-can we….Can I kiss you?” He was tugging gently at my cravat and my stomach sank. I didn’t speak. I simply leaned down and pressed our lips together innocently, like we had done the last couple of days. Eren pressed firmly against my lips and moved his other hand up to my hair. I could feel the heat radiating off of his lips, and that want coursed through me again. To my surprise, I felt him open his mouth ever so slightly, slowly deepending the kiss. Finally, after so many days, our tongues touched and I tasted Eren again. I swooned as I did with our first kiss and I felt my own cheeks getting warm. We moved together as one, kissing softly, and then eventually, after realizing I wasn’t going to break him, I took over the kiss, and poured out every emotion I had been holding on to the last few days. Every word I could scream, every punch I couldn’t throw, I poured into this single kiss. We finally pulled apart, chests heaving, simply breathless and pink. “L-Levi. Wow.”

“S-Sorry. I got carried away.” I said as I leaned our foreheads together. My heart was soaring. There’s no way my smile would ever go away.

“No, it was great. I just, I was scared. I’m glad you took over.” We simply stayed like that for a moment, basking in the glory of our kiss until Eren pulled me down again, kissing me like he had before. I kissed him back, but tried to restrain myself this time. I didn’t want to get too stirred up. We pulled apart again, breathing hard once more, and I ran my hand over Eren’s pink cheeks.

“So are you okay with me kissing you anytime now? I just didn’t want to push you…” He looked me in the eyes and smiled. His eyes had a faint glow again, and I was so happy for that. 

“I’d be happy if you would, Levi.” I grinned and brought our lips together again, his mouth was so familiar, but God did I miss it! I took everything in me to not cry as I claimed every recess in it with my tongue. Kissing every worry away from him that I could. He wasn’t kissing back as enthusiastically after a while, so I backed off and finished with a sweet kiss to his lips. I looked him over and he was practically dozing. He was exhausted, and to be honest, I couldn’t blame him. It had been an emotional day all around. I looked at the clock.

“Tch. Barely half the days over, but I’m sleepy. What about you, Eren? Up for being lazy and napping with me?” He smiled a sleepy smile and snuggled into his place at my side.   
“I’ll take that as a yes. Sweet dreams. I’m here if you need anything. Especially another kiss.” I added with a smirk. I heard him chuckled softly into my chest before soft breaths took over.

Wow. What a day. We’d definitely made a break through. It was ironic really what I was trying to do. I was trying to break down Eren’s walls just like the titan’s broke down ours. Granted I was doing it in a totally different way. I was trying to break his down for the better so we could eventually get back to where we were before. I ran my fingers through his hair and shut my eyes. I fell asleep thinking of Eren’s sweet kisses before sleep took me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin asks Eren to make an important decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3 Hope you enjoy <3

A couple of days later

Levi’s POV

Another day brought another knock to our door early in the morning. Eren peaked his eye over the blanket as I went over to answer. I didn’t trust visitors this early. Connie Springer handed me a sealed letter and then went on his way. I sighed and cracked Erwin’s seal open as the door shut behind me. 

“Is everything okay, Levi?” Eren asked as he tried to scoot over to the edge of the bed. I rubbed my temple and sat on the edge of the bed. 

“Erwin wants me in his office. ASAP. Hanji’s found something out about that injection. They want you there too.”

“When?” He asked as he struggled over to the side of the bed.

“The meeting is at 11. It’s 8:30 now. So roughly a 30 minute walk into town…” 

“Two hours?” 

“Yeah, but we have to get that bed head straightened out.” I said as I ruffled his hair. “We both need showers. And we have to figure out how in the hell I’m going to get you   
there…” 

“Oh yeah…”

“It’s not exactly discreet to carry you princess style through town. I mean I can-“

“NO!” I smirked and leaned down to kiss him. He was already turning red.

“Crutches are also an option, but with the snow and ice, I don’t think it’s a good idea…”

“What about 3-D gear? I wouldn’t be on the ground really…You’d just have to catch me when I land and take the load off of my leg…”

“Hmmm…We’ll see what Hanji thinks. She’s going also. We’ll be leaving together. It’s not a bad idea though.” I stood up and began gathering the clothes we’d need, including both sets of straps. “Alright princess, time to get up.” I said with a smirk.

“Levi!” He was red now, I’d enjoy seeing it creep all the way down in the shower.

“What? Am I not allowed to tease you?” He just looked up with his brilliant eyes and I leaned down and kissed his forehead. After helping him to the bathroom first for our morning bathroom routine, I set him back on the bed to make it easier to pick him up.

“Hang on to these.” I reach him the clothing and straps and proceeded to scoop him up into my arms. He leaned his head against my chest and we walked all the way downstairs to the showers.

I quickly helped him strip and wrapped his leg up once again, and after taking my own clothes off, we headed for the shower. I brought a stool over and let him sit as I began washing him. He kept getting redder by the second as my fingers brushed over him.

“What? Am I doing something wrong?”

“N-No….” His blush was creeping all the way down his neck and even blotching on his shoulders in places. I reach up and touched his face and he shuddered. “Feels nice.” He leaned forward hesitantly, but paused and looked around. Luckily everyone was at breakfast, leaving us to shower alone. I closed the space between us and our mouths started moving together. To be honest, we didn’t really have time to be playing around in the shower, but damnit if Eren was feeling comfortable enough too, I was going to! When we finally pulled apart, Eren had his eyes locked on mine and he had his mouth open, like he wanted to say something, but the words just wouldn’t come out. I dropped to my knees and put my mouth up to his ear, trying not to get too close and make him feel smothered, but letting him know I was ready to move forward at any moment. I was still washing him, soaping up every part of him that I touched.

“Are you trying to say something?” I whispered quietly to him. I felt his head give way and rest itself against my neck, but no words came out, only a whimper. I only let out a small chuckled as I remembered the whimpers and sounds his titan used to make. I felt his arm wrap around me, with trembling fingers, and then suddenly, I felt him place a kiss on my neck, setting me on fire. One kiss turned into two, and then three, that third kiss turned into a shaky lick which made me moan quietly.

“Eren. Oh. Y-You may want to stop.” I could already feel myself going hard. It was going to take some REALLY cold water to get this to go away.

“D-Do you not like it?” He breathed against my neck. Shit.

“N-No just.” His mouth was on me again. Sucking this time, no doubt leaving a mark. “Mhmmm.” No way this was going away on it’s own now. Ughh.” He pulled away and looked at me blushing. 

“Was that okay, Heichou?” I nodded and pulled him close to me. 

“Yeah. Can I do you?” I asked with a smile. Hell, might as well. Not like it was going away now. He blushed even harder, if that was possible and gave me a small nod. I brought my lips down against his neck and began kissing and licking lightly, just as he done to me, and I felt his hand find my arm and tighten on it.

“Levi!” It wasn’t a plea to stop, in fact there was no reason for me to feel concern at all. It sounded like regular Eren. Eren before everything had happened. Lust filled Eren. I found the perfect spot on his neck to leave my mark, and began to suck. He whimpered again and whispered my name. I looked down and could see his need growing. I pulled back and gave him a sweet kiss on the lips.

“Thanks for trusting me, Eren.” My heart was pounding. We had crossed a huge hurdle. More physical contact. More trust. I was terrified to do anything else, so I didn’t want to get him heated up any further. My own need, however, was aching angrily now. It must have brushed up against him as I tried to pull away because he blushed again and looked at me.

“L-Levi…I’m sorry…I-I”

“It’s fine brat.” I brought our lips together again. “We’ll it would be fine…but a cold shower won’t help it now…” He frowned and looked down, as if suggesting I were lying to him.

“Oh…umm. Well…”

“Here.” I handed him the soap. “I’ll go take care of it myself, just finish up.”

“But Levi!” I stared blankly at him. I sure as hell wasn’t going to ask him for anything. Not after what happened. “I feel guiltly…”

“Don’t…it’s not your fault I can’t control myself around you.” I said with a smirk. He reach out his hand and pulled me back.

“Stay…” I sighed. Breakfast would be over soon. I’d have to hurry. I wrapped my hand around myself and let out another sigh as I began to work myself quickly. I saw Eren   
watching me and breathed out as he laid his hand over my own. This was all the contact he could manage, but God it was enough to send me over the edge in just a few pumps. I spilled onto the shower floor, and it flowed down the drain. 

His own problem was worse now, thanks to him watching me. 

“Why did you go and watch me, brat?” I said in a low voice. He looked to the shower floor and didn’t reply. “Not that I mind, but you’ve got a problem of your own now…”He hesitantly reach his own hand down to begin dealing with it and I heard laugher in the locker room.

“Shit.” I picked Eren up, and carried him into the stall with the shower curtain. I had forgotten to grab the stool on the way though. “Oops. Just lean back against me. I won’t let you fall, I promise.” He nodded, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. The water was pouring over both of us, but hitting mostly him directly as he was standing in front. He leaned all of his weight back against me, taking it off of his broken leg. “There you go. Relax. I’ve got you.” I whispered in his ear. I was pressing kisses to his neck and shoulder, and I felt his arm begin to move. His neck began to tense up, I knew he was filled with nervousness. 

He was breathing heavily now, head leaning back against me. It was a bit odd to be honest. The height difference definitely played a big role as we were standing like this and I nuzzled his hair. It was still mostly dry. 

“L-Levi. C-Can’t-”

“Shhhh. It’s okay. Go ahead.” I moved my head to the side and placed my lips on his neck again as I felt him tense up and sigh. I chuckled as he nearly went limp against me, and proceeded to turn him around to face me. “Shame I couldn’t have seen your face…” I whispered with a smirk. I kissed his lips and took the bar of soap from his other hand and began washing him again. He was drowsy now, but I encouraged him to get moving. We didn’t want to be late to our meeting. We finished washing, dried, dressed and met Hanji by the door. We both grabbed an apple from the kitchen on the way. Eren was sitting in a chair, munching on his happily. 

“Morning guys!” 

“Morning Hanji! Eren had an idea about getting there easer.” I said bluntly as I bit into my apple. 

“Well let’s hear it Eren!”

“I thought maybe I could use the 3-D gear, and not have to walk or have Levi carry me…Except when I have to land he could catch me?” I chewed my apple and watched the two interact. 

“Well that would be all well and good but…you are forgetting Eren…Where does most of the tension of the 3-D gear fall?” Shit. I didn’t think about that myself. The tension fell directly on the legs. Eren looked at me and I shrugged.

“At least you look cute in your gear.” I offered before I took another bite. He was frowning at me. 

“Levi…how could you forget that part?”

“You forgot too brat. I’ve been worried about your health, not the damn maneuver gear.” He sighed. 

“Well there is a solution that can be reached with the maneuver gear…” Hanji said with a wicked look in her eyes. 

“Let’s hear it then.” I said as I threw my apple core in the trash and crossed my arms. 

“If you are worried about people seeing you carrying Eren…you could always carry him using the 3DM. You practically fly with it Levi.” I sighed and looked over at Eren. He was staring at me, turning pink once again. 

“Fine. I’ll do it. Go get my gear Shitty Glasses.” 

“Yes Sir!” 

“You really have to carry me all the way there?” I got closer to him and ran my fingers through his carefully combed hair. 

“I don’t want you getting hurt. Not after you’ve finally begun to heal now. We’ve just now been able to cut your pain medication back.” I reach for his hand and he took it reluctantly. 

“I’m sorry Levi. I don’t mean to be a pain.”

“I’m getting used to it.” I joked as I knelt down beside him. “Brats are always a pain anyways, but at least the gear hugs them in just the right spots.”

“Levi!” I snickered and pressed a kiss to his lips quickly before Hanji returned. She finally returned with the case, and I attached the rest of the 3DM gear and she did the same with hers. Eren just sat there and watched. 

“Ready?” I asked him as I finally got the last piece snapped into place. He nodded and I scooped him up. Hanji opened the door for us and we walked onto the porch, ready to take flight as soon as we hit the street. We passed Jean and Connie on the way.

“Ha! Look at Jaeger!”

“Shut up Connie!” Jean scoffed. “He’s got a broken leg. How else is he gonna get around?” I nodded at Jean and Eren simply pushed his face into my chest. I could feel the heat radiating off of it. He was on a whole separate level of embarrassed. 

“Hold onto me tight. If you let go, you’ll hit the fucking ground. No guarantees I can catch you in time.” He held onto me tight and we lifted off. Within seconds we were in the air, and we felt weightless. 

“You alright, Eren?” I said as the wind threatened to push my words away. He pulled his face out of my chest and looked up. It really did take complete trust to rely on someone else using their maneuver gear with you holding on for the ride. 

“Yeah, just, it feels strange. It’s been a while.” It had been a while since we both used it. The day of the incident in fact. I sighed and gripped him tighter. We were approaching the city center so I sped up, becoming simply a blur to the citizens and soldiers alike with Eren in my arms. We reached HQ and I dropped in through the open window in Erwin’s office. Hopefully he was ready for us. 

“Levi! What the hell!?”

“Sorry. We had to come up with alternate means of transportation for Eren.”

“And it didn’t cross your mind to take a fucking horse?”

“Oh…well, not exactly no.” We stared at each other for a few seconds and then we both started laughing. He simply shook his head and motioned us over to the couch. I carefully set Eren down and plopped myself down next to him.

“Alright, well anyway, this meeting is about what Hanji found in the syringe.” Erwin said as he shut the book he’d been reading. “Would you like to start, Hanji?”

“Well I started examining it, and it appeared to be some kind of a suppressant. It pretty much suppressant the titan inside of you Eren, we just don’t know for how long. It could be for a few weeks, it could be…forever.” I felt him tug on my cloak and I reach my hand over to him. We laced our fingers together, we doubted that either of them minded and there were no higher ups here. “But, I’ve also formulated a reversal injection. It’ll make your titan active again. IF you want to take it. That’s completely your choice. You have the option Eren. You have the option to be normal, which for all we know that may only be for a few weeks before the formula breaks down on it’s own. Or it may be for the rest of your life. Either way it’s up to you.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. They were giving him the OPTION to be a titan again. I looked over at Eren and he was fidgeting with the bracelet on his wrist. 

“C-can I have some time? To think about it?” Erwin was staring at him now, and I knew he felt pressured. 

“We’ll give you 10 minutes. Think hard Eren. I’m heading back with you guys if you decide on it. The formula is in her lab still. You’ll have to be restrained before we can administer it.” He tugged Hanji up and they both walked out of the office, leaving us alone. 

“What should I do, Levi?!”

“Firstly, calm down, and think. Take a deep breath.” His fingers were begging to shake, but he took a deep breath and he looked me in the eyes. “What do YOU want Eren? It’s not what I want.”

“I-I want to be helpful to humanity.” I ran my fingers through his hair and down his face with a sigh.

“You’ll be helpful either way…but I think you know the answer already. I’ll support either decision. I’ll still love you either way.” I pulled him against me and he hugged me tight.

“This sucks, Heichou. I could have been normal for once.” I smiled against his face and kissed his cheek.

“You’ll never be normal, brat. If you were normal, I wouldn’t have fallen for you.” He hugged me again and I rubbed his back.

“Is it okay to feel sad?”

“Of course. After everything that’s happened to you? You are pretty much picking the titan power back up willingly and putting your life on the line again for humanity. Picking up the title ‘Monster’. It’s not an easy thing to do, Eren.” I pulled away slightly and pressed a kiss to his lips. We pulled away from each other when Erwin and Hanji returned.

“I told you to come up with a decision, not eat each other, Levi.”

“Can it Erwin!” 

“I-I want the power back Sir!”

“You heard him Hanji!”

 

They loaded Eren up on a horse and we walked through town together. Erwin and Hanji insisted on stopping at every stand in the town center, so I stood with Eren and the horse over to the side. I spotted the alley from a few days ago…funny it was across from me this time which meant. Shit. I looked to my side and there it was, the opening to the underground. I could smell the stale air coming out of it. A few people were walking up and I turned my back towards them.

“Levi? Is that you?” Double shit. I turned to face the person talking to me. “Yulp! Sure is! I’d never forget the back of your head! HA! The face looks the same too! A lot older now, but still the same. How much are you charging these days?! HAHAHA!” I was mortified. I slumped against the wall as I heard the man walk away. 

“Levi?”

“DON’T EREN.” I hissed. I wanted to slit the man’s throat, but to be honest, the MP was already on my ass. I took the reins of the horse and shot Erwin a look, telling him silently we were heading back without them. 

So many thoughts were flooding back. Thoughts I didn’t want to deal with. I gripped the reins and dug my fingernails into the leather as we continued on in an awkward silence. You had to do things to survive in the underground. It wasn’t about love or finding your true mate down there, it was about making it to see another day. A lot of times those ‘excursions’ took a turn for the worse and lead to a more than forceful experience. Maybe that’s why I could relate to what happened to Eren so well. Just maybe…. No I had to stop thinking. I reach in my pocket and pulled out the silver tin I had buried in my belongings years ago. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it, letting the smoke fill my lungs and cloud my mind. 

Eventually we arrived back at base and I helped Eren off of the horse and hitched it up in the barn. He hadn’t said a word since we were in the town center and I was glad. I had to clear my mind, or else I was going to explode. But then I caught that look of defeat in his eyes, of sadness. SHIT. Why am I such a fuckup all the time?! I pulled him close to me and let him lean against me to take the weight off of his leg.

“I apologize Eren. I just…I don’t want to talk about that just yet. I’m not made at you. That guy was just an ass. So…” He breathed against me silently and I felt his lips brush against my cheek in a kiss.

“Okay. Just whenever you are ready to talk.” I lifted him up and carried him into the common area. No point in going up all those damn stairs right now. I ordered Springer to clean up the basement for his earlier remarks that I’d overheard, and specified that it had to be to MY standards, while we waited for Erwin and Hanji. They arrived about 30 minutes later. I carefully maneuvered my way down the stairs to the basement, wow had it been a long time! Lamps lit our way as we progressed. I sat Eren down on the bed and carefully took off his boot. I hadn’t bothered putting the other on. I frowned as I picked up the shackles.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered as I snapped it around his wrist. He simply nodded and held out his other wrist patiently. My stomach sank. I was doing the exact opposite. I was restraining him. I must’ve sent Erwin a strange look, because he permitted me to sit with him. I took his hand in mine and kissed his cheek as Hanji readied the serum. “I’m sorry. I-I know this isn’t easy for you.” I whispered. 

“It’s okay if you are here, Levi. Promise you won’t leave my side?” 

“Of course I won’t.” I wrapped my arm around his waist and pulled him to me. Screw it. If Erwin was going to tell me to back off, he would have done it by now. I leaned my head against his shoulder. “After all this is over, I’ll tell you about what happened. Okay?” I offered as Hanji drew near. Eren nodded and I pressed a kiss to his shoulder. I could feel his heart throbbing. He was scared and I knew there was little I could do to ease that fear, but sit there and hold him. 

“Hold out your arm Eren.” Hanji said softly. He reach it out hesitantly and I kissed his neck and she plunged the needle in. 

“Ouch! Hot hot hot!” 

“Sorry! All over now, get Heichou to kiss it for you!” Erwin was standing in the corner with his hand on his blade. Funny how I used to be that on edge around Eren. She stuck a band aid on it and Eren drew his arm back in. 

“Feeling funny.” I lifted my head up and looked at him.

“How so, Eren. Tell me everything that’s going on!”

“Really. Tired.” I looked at Hanji and she just shrugged. I watched Eren as he looked as if he would fall over at any moment. 

“Eren. Eren?!”

“Yeah!” 

“Lay back. Rest.” I disconnected my 3D Gear and handed it to Hanji, letting her set my blades and everything beside the small bed. We both fell back against the lumpy pillows of the bed. Eren snuggled right up to me like he always did in our bedroom, minus two little details. The cold chains draped across both of us, and no blankets on the bed. I was going to kill Connie later. Who forgets blankets?

“I’ll grab some blankets, Heichou! It’s chilly down here!” 

“Thanks.” I looked down at Eren who was snoring against me now, before shooting a look over to Erwin who finally plopped down in the chair by the bed.

“Well that went better that I thought it would.” I agreed.

“L-Levi. Hot.” I returned my eyes to Eren who was sweating now. He was mumbling in his sleep. I wiped his brow with my sleeve and found him to be returning to his ‘normal’ titan temperature. Soon the whimpers of his nightmare began, and I had to shake him awake.

“Hey. You were having a nightmare. You okay?”

“Titans.” He said sleepily before dozing back off. Hanji threw the blanket over us, and I thanked her as I watched over Eren. She also pulled up a chair and we had a quiet conversation about recent theories. But to be honest the only thing on my mind was my sleeping boyfriend in my arms.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a bit weird after Hanji gives Eren the injection!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a bit longer than usual guys!
> 
> I've been planning a fundraiser for my art group for the last 3 months and it's this Saturday. It's a rave! Woot complete with DJ (my hubby :D ) glowsticks for sale, art auction, glow face paint, the whole 9 yards! And it's all to raise money for our trip to New Orleans in the Spring! Gah! So wish me luck! I've put so much effort into planning this thing! ;)
> 
> Anyways onto the new Chapter <3 This should be the last big thing I have for the rest of winter break, so the chapters should be more frequent :D Comments are always awesome! YAAAAAAAY!!! <3

Eren’s POV

Hot. Everything was hot. I felt weird. Like something was building up inside me and I couldn’t stop it. My heart was aching and I was reaching out. I was running, back in the forest. I was a titan again. Was I dreaming? The ground shook with each step I took. As I ran further, however, I kept stumbling upon fallen comrades. I couldn’t make it in time. I could feel their blood under my feet, seeping into the ground. I saw it dripping down the bark of the trees and I wanted to stop. I wanted to stop running and just rest. But I felt like I had a mission. I finally arrived to the clearing and found them there. Once again my nightmare was relived. The bodies of team Levi strewn around the clearing made me want to cry out. I couldn’t stop it. Even with my power I couldn’t stop it. Would I ever be of any use to humanity? I could hear screaming. Oh…it was my own. I couldn’t stop myself. I was sinking. The weight of my titan form was sinking into the blood soaked ground as if it were some kind of morbid quicksand. I felt so warm in my titan husk, but it still couldn’t bring back my fallen comrades. It still wouldn’t rebuild the trust that I had with Heichou. His friends were gone because of me. 

“Eren! Eren!” Someone was screaming my name. “EREN! WAKE UP!” Whose voice was that? It sounded muffled. I’m not asleep. I’m shifted. I have a mission. I have to find who did this! “EREN PLEASE!” Just a little longer! I can find them and wipe them out! I swear!

 

Levi’s POV

Eren was sleeping peacefully for around an hour or so until he slipped into one of his usual nightmares. I went to wake him up, but Hanji urged me to let him sleep, muttering some non-sense about him transforming if I startled him. I sighed and just laid there listening to his periodic whimpers. Then, without any kind of warning signs, a loud POP! Erupted through the room and I was enveloped in warmth. I tried to jump away, but I was too close. I didn’t know what the hell was going on. It’s like he subconsciously transformed, and made a type of ‘titan cocoon’ around us, sealing us both together completely. He was fine, but my first thought was how long I could stay inside this thing before I ran out of air. I waited patiently for a few minutes. I could barely hear Erwin. 

“LEVI!” He yelled as he beat on the wall of muscle and flesh. 

“I’M FINE!” That was until I heard Eren scream. We were pretty much fused together, and I felt the muscle start tensing around me. Sure it was hot, but it was nothing compared to being squeezed. 

“EREN! EREN!” I was yelling at him. He needed to wake the hell up. This was not normal. I was starting to panic. “EREN! WAKE UP!” I felt my chest begin to tighten and I took a deep breath. Was I running out of air or just freaking myself out? I tried to breath and sure enough I was only able to breathe in a small wisp of air. “EREN PLEASE!” Suddenly, without warning, a blade was shoved in directly beside my face.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” The wall of muscle shuddered and Eren screamed again. What the hell was happening?

“Sorry Levi! We didn’t know if you could breathe!” Erwin explained through the cut he’d made. The cut was steaming. How long were they going to have to keep this up? Surely the hole would start to regenerate. I took a moment to breath in the fresh air that poured through the wound.

“Thanks! I couldn’t. I also can’t get loose or wake him up! I’ll keep trying! Just don’t stab me!” How had he known my body wasn’t there? Knowing Erwin, it was probably a lucky guess.

“HEY BRAT! WAKE UP!!!!” I tried to struggle, tried to move, but it didn’t help. I could feel his body still pressed up against me and I tried to move my hand. I barely managed to break it free and attach it to a part of his body before the muscles tightened around me. “EREN! CAN YOU FEEL MY HAND?” I pinched him as hard as I could. “WAKE THE FUCK UP!” 

“Ouch! Just a little longer…gotta find out who-“

“Eren! Thank God! Stay awake! Listen to me! Get us out of this thing!” I pinched him again for good measure. 

“Ouch! What-What happened? Where are we?”

“I have no clue! Just get us out! You transformed without so much as a groan. And now I’m trapped in here with you!” He struggled to move and pull himself free, but he was   
clearly having trouble. We were pretty much fused together in this giant mass of muscle. 

“Shit! I can’t break loose!” 

“Calm down. We’ll do it together.” I reassured him. It sounded like a good theory at least.

“Levi!” Erwin called through the opening as it slowly starting sealing. “Catch!” I broke my hand loose and caught the small knife Erwin dropped in. 

“I guess we have to cut our way out.” I began slicing my side, and got a lot of the connections cut, enough to break free from the side of the wall, but it was causing a lot of   
steam. I cut into the outside the let it vent. This was awful. After nearly 10 minutes of slicing and hacking with that tiny ass knife, I was finally able to pull Eren free. I cut through the wall and drug him out, falling back onto the cold floor. The chains had been ripped off during his transformation. What good that did. 

We were both panting hard and I had my arms around Eren, checking him, making sure he was alright. I felt a hand grab my shirt and pull me off of him. 

“What the-Erwin! What the hell?!” 

“Think Levi! What JUST happened? Do you want to get trapped again? Grab your gear!” Eren was looking at me with tears in his eyes. He was watching me. I didn’t know what to do. I just froze. Do I obey my superior officer or go to the one person that means everything to me because he’s terrified right now? I put my hands in my hair and pulled at it. 

Eren nodded at me. I knew he understood, but I didn’t want to leave him there. 

“Levi! It’s an order!” I gritted my teeth and grabbed my gear. I snapped it into place and stood against the far side of the cell. Eren was struggling to hold himself up. He was laying in an awkward position in the floor. 

“Eren, how are you feeling?” Hanji asked as she drew slightly closer.

“Just…tired. And hot.” 

“Keep him awake!” Erwin demanded. 

“Like that’ll be easy.” I scoffed as I crossed my arms and leaned against the doorway. 

“How about some coffee Eren?” Hanji offered with a smile. 

“Can’t I just…rest for just a little while?”

“No. Sorry Eren, but not while you are unstable like this.” Erwin said immediately. He groaned and looked at me with a frown. 

“I’ll go make some coffee…” I offered. No use in me standing here doing nothing but wanting to touch him. “Is he allowed to eat?”

“I don’t see why not.” I didn’t reply, I just silently walked up the stairs, through the main area, and into the kitchen. I started the kettle of water boiling and leaned over the counter, trying to get my thoughts together. I heard the door to the kitchen open and looked up to see Mikasa walk in. They still hadn’t spoken. He had written her the letter. I was there with him the afternoon he wrote it, and it was an emotional experience for him. I simply held him in my arms as he let the words pour out from his pen and the tears pour out from his eyes. Occasionally, he’d have to take breaks to calm down and get his thoughts together, but we made it through and he got his letter finished. I took it down and laid it on her bunk while she went out for her morning run one day. 

“What was that noise earlier? I could have sworn I heard-“

“Eren transform? You did. He trapped me. Down in the basement. It was a weird muscle mass that wrapped around us both. We had to cut out.”

“So he can transform again?!” She asked as she drew closer to me. The kettle began to whistle and I pulled it from the fire. 

“Appears that way, but it was a sudden urge of power at once. He couldn’t control it.” I said as I poured the coffee into the coffee press. 

“Why aren’t you down there with him!?” Mikasa asked as she stared blankly at me. 

“Erwin is in command. He wouldn’t let me near Eren for the time being. He won’t let him rest either. Your brother is exhausted. You know how he gets after he shifts. I’m trying to be productive and help him stay away. God knows how long Erwin will make him stay awake for…” I said as I pulled a mug down from the cabinet and placed in on the tray. 

“I hardly know any more than that, but I’ll try to keep you updated.” I said sincerely as I added sugar and milk to the tray. I also added some cheese and bread. Maybe a full stomach would help him wake up?

“Thank you…” I silently nodded and added the brewed coffee to the tray. “So…Eren doesn’t hate me?” she asked softly. I looked up from the steaming press.

“No, far from it. He adores you. He’s just been dealing with a hell of a lot lately. Just give him some time and hopefully he’ll be back to normal.” As normal as could be at least. 

“He’s smiling more now. And…if it’s worth anything we kissed.” She raised her eyebrow as if to question my comment. “I know it sounds idiotic to you…but I didn’t want to rush   
him back into the pressure of our relationship right off…So all I did was held his hand and kiss his forehead. We just went from there. And now we’ve made it to kissing. So it may seem cheesy, but I’ve fallen in love with your brother all over again.” I said with a smirk as I picked up the tray and walked away without another comment.

I arrived at the oh so familiar cell to find Eren just where I left him. Erwin had ventured closer however, nudging him with his foot to keep him awake.

“Surely you wouldn’t be kicking him, would you Erwin?” I asked as knelt down beside him. Erwin gave me another look. “I’ve got my blades now. I’m fine. He needs coffee.” 

“Fine.” He proceeded to plop himself back down in the chair he was in before. Eren was nearly out of it again. 

“Oi, brat. Wake up.” I gently shook him and his eyes locked onto mine. 

“Levi, sorry!” His eyes were fluttering again, so I quickly mixed his coffee together. Milk, cream, sugar. A really girly cup of coffee, but enough to make the teen jump off the walls. 

“Drink.” I held it up to his lips and he took a sip. He coughed slightly as he tried to choke it down.

“S-Strong.”

“You need to stay awake.” I tore off a chunk of bread and added a piece of cheese to it and held it up to his lips. His eyes were darting back and forth between Hanji and Erwin. He was probably embarrassed that I was feeding him, but I could really care less. And they were simply down here to make sure he wouldn’t hurt me. “Eat, Jaeger, or I’ll have to force you.” He whimpered and ate it, washing it down with more coffee. We continued like that for 5 minutes or so, until the tray was empty, aside from the rest of the coffee, but Eren insisted he couldn’t stomach anymore.

“Heichou, please, maybe another cup in a little while. I’ll stay awake.”

“Ha! Listen to him Hanji!” Erwin said with a grin. “Bartering so he doesn’t gave to drink any more of Levi’s mud that he calls coffee!” I frowned and looked down at the press. I’d made it a little extra strong for a reason, but was it really that bad. 

“Don’t listen to them. It was good! I’m just full.” My eyes met Eren’s and I could tell that his words were sincere. I wanted to kiss him, but I knew Erwin would scold me. Probably yell something about ‘unpredictable circumstances.’ I mouthed an apology to Eren, and set the tray aside. 

“Do you want someone to bring your drawing things down? It’ll keep your mind busy at least?” I asked as I placed my hand on his lower back. He nodded and Hanji was already standing. We told her where to look and what to bring, and she delivered the supplies in a few minutes, including the book I’d been reading on fighting style. The lighting wasn’t the best, but hopefully it’d be okay for him to sketch a little and stay awake. I heard his pencil start to scratch on the paper and I knew he was drifting off into his own little world. 

“If you need anything, I’m right beside you.” We were touching knees, sadly that was about all I could get away with, with Erwin there presently. 

 

A few hours later

I heard a pencil drop and saw it roll across the floor. I quickly turned to Eren and nudged him. He had nearly dozed off. I couldn’t blame him, as it was pretty late now. Dinner had come and went, and we would have already been in bed by now, especially without our ever frequent mid-day nap.

“Hey, wake up.” I said as I shook him.

“But Heichou….it’s bedtime. Erwin is asleep. Look.” I looked over and sure enough, Erwin had dozed off in his chair. Hanji was still writing in her notebook. I sighed and stood up, walking over to him. He was going to be pissed.

“OI! Erwin! Eren can’t sleep, but you can?!” He shot awake and nearly pulled his blade on me. 

“What the hell, Levi? When did I doze off….” He rubbed his face and sat up. “What time is it?” I pulled the watch out of my pocket to check the time.

“12:30” he sighed and leaned back in his chair. 

“Hanji, have the guards bring down some bedrolls. We have to get some rest…The bed is not really useable anymore.” She poked her head outside the door and sent up the command. Great. Just what I wanted. Let’s sleep on the cold ass dirty floor. He returned with four bedrolls. I carried Eren’s over to the far wall, just as Erwin had ordered and carefully laid it out. I frowned. It would be the first night in a long time that we would be sleeping apart. I walked back over to Eren, who was still sprawled in the center of the floor, anchored in place by his cast. Erwin and Hanji were laying their beds out already, as well as mine beside of Hanji’s. Eren was frowning.

“You can’t sleep near me right? It’s dangerous…” I knelt down by him and took his hand in mine. 

“I’m sorry. I would if I could. It’s not my decision. I’ll be right over there if you need me.” He let his head drop and I helped him to his feet. We carefully closed the distance to his bed in the corner and I got him situated for the night. He was still holding onto my sleeve and I began to pull away. “Eren…” I looked over my shoulder to see Erwin fussing at Hanji over something.

“Levi…I-“

“Don’t have any more nightmare okay. That’s what triggered it right?” Tears began to threaten his eyes now, but he held them back. He simply nodded.

“I t-think so.”

“Well then promise me, Eren. No more nightmares tonight.” 

“But Levi, I can’t promise-“

“Promise me.”

“O-Okay. I promise.” I shot another glance over my shoulder and Hanji winked at me as she continued fussing at Erwin. I leaned in and kissed Eren, it was brief, but it was   
heartfelt. “I love you. Sweet dreams.” He blushed as I pulled away.

“I love you too, Levi. Sweet dreams to you too.” He replied in barely a whisper. I walked across the cold basement, grabbing my book on the way, and leaving my lonely boyfriend in the corner by himself. I finished setting up my bed, and pushed myself into the scratchy cold covers. Sleep would not be easy tonight. Funny how Hanji and Erwin stopped fussing as soon as I began my walk back over. Ha. She was smart enough to know he wouldn’t be triggered by a goodnight kiss. I opened my book and began reading it again, continuing to keep watch on Eren throughout the night. Eventually he dozed off, with no signs of nightmares. Erwin and Hanji were out shortly after, when they realized he wasn’t a threat. I KNEW he wasn’t a threat, I just couldn’t fall asleep without being next to him. Before I knew it the jingle of keys disturbed me from my last page, and awoke Hanji and Erwin. 

“Sirs, Breakfast is ready.” No surprise there. I felt like shit. I groaned as I lifted myself to my feet and walked over to Eren. He was laying on his side, and the covers were strewn about. He had a rough night as well.

“Eren. Time to get up.” He whined and turned over. Our eyes connected and he squinted.

“Levi…what happened? You look like crap.”

“Couldn’t sleep. Come on, get up.” I threw the remaining covers off of him and pulled him up into my arms. We both needed a shower, but I needed copious amounts of coffee first. 

“Levi, what are you-“

“Going to get breakfast and shower. Surely if he hasn’t ripped us apart by now, he isn’t going to Erwin.” Erwin sighed and nodded and I lifted him up. 

“Just keep a close eye on him, Levi!”

“I always do!” I worked my way up the steps carefully with Eren in tow and we finally arrived in the hallway.

“So are we eating with everyone?” 

“If you are up to it. How’s your leg?” 

“Feels okay.” I put him down gently in the hallway and we walked slowly into the dining hall, letting him lean most of his weight on me as we walked. I figured he couldn’t take the embarrassment of being carried into breakfast like a princess. I helped him into his seat. I couldn’t stand the thought of food, but I started off the day with two cups of coffee.   
Eren ate happily and chatted with his sister and the newly arrived Armin. He caught him up on what had gone on the last few weeks, and Armin was shocked he’d missed so much.

After breakfast, we headed upstairs for a bath. We didn’t feel like dealing with the crowded showers. I sat Eren back down on the bed while I started the tub and looked at myself in the mirror. The circles under my eyes were quite pronounced. I walked out to find him playing with his bracelet.

“Do you want the first bath, Eren?” I asked as I sat down beside him and ran my hand through his hair. He did feel slightly warmer to the touch. 

“I-I umm….I was thinking maybe we could…share. If it wouldn’t be a problem with my leg I m-mean!” He was practically the color of an apple now as he stuttered out the last word. I simply snickered and brought our lips together. 

“We can make it work, Jaeger.” I said as I helped him up and into the bathroom. We both brushed our teeth, again with him leaning on me for support as he had gotten used to. I finally began stripping him, and tossed his clothes into the hamper. The blush didn’t fade as he continued to lean against me. 

“The cut on your arm is gone, Eren. The bruises too. Everything. I’ll be surprised if your leg isn’t healed soon.” His eyes lit up as he looked down at his arm.

“Maybe I’ll be able to go with you?”

“Maybe so!” I placed a kiss to his neck and he shivered. I quickly stripped off my own clothes and turned the water off. After covering up his cast, I contemplated for a second how we were going to do this. 

“Got any ideas?” I turned to Eren to find him staring at me, continuing to turn red and stutter.

“M-Maybe I c-can sit on your lap and prop my leg up?” I grinned and leaned back on the tub.

“We can try it. Turn around.” He whimpered as I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind and pulled us both into the tub together. As we sat, he lifted his leg up on the edge of the tub. “Good?” He nodded and I knew as I looked at his neck and the red creeping down it that he was struggling for words. “Really Eren…are you okay with this?”

“Y-yeah.” He reach he hand through the water, searching for mine, and I took it without hesitation. His skin felt so warm and soft against mine. I ran my lips down his neck and sucked on his shoulder. 

“If you feel uncomfortable, let me know. I’ll stop.” I heard another small splash and watched as he brought his other hand up to his face. He was wiping at his cheeks frantically. 

“Eren?” He gave my hand a squeeze and leaned back against me further, pushing the majority of his weight back against me. I could see the shimmer from his wet face however, and I knew he’d shed a couple tears. I didn’t question him, I just kept kissing him in all the right places, making him feel just right.

This was the first time we’d been this close since he’d returned, and I could tell he was beginning to feel the pressure and panic of the situation. Every ounce of want dropped from the situation for me the moment I realized he was frightened. I went into protective mode and wrapped my other arm around him.

“We aren’t going to do anything you don’t want to do. We are just taking a bath, got it? I’ll even get out if you want me in here. I don’t want you to feel pressured.” He just gave my other hand a squeeze and I saw another tear roll down his cheek. He didn’t budge though, he just stayed in place firmly on my lap. 

“Levi, I want to stay.” I frowned but I kept my arm around him and bent down to kiss his jaw. 

“You can stay then. I just want you to be happy, Eren.” He smiled at my words and wiped away his tears again. I could tell he was in limbo with his emotions. 

“I am happy. You have no idea how good you are to me. I’m trying so hard, Levi. I want to try to make you happy too. I know you miss how things used to be, and if you say differently, it’s a lie. Just know that I’m trying to take baby steps at least.” He was squeezing my hand again, and guilt filled the pit of my stomach.

“Eren, you don’t have to push yourself for me. I have all the time in the world. There’s no need to rush things. We have plenty of time to learn every little detail of each other. It’s like I’m falling in love with you all over again.” There weren’t any stopping the tears this time. He let me loosen the hand holding his, to tilt his head against my chest and run my fingers through his hair. 

“Why d-do you always know all t-the right thingss to s-say?” I smirked and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“You’re the only one that tells me that. Everyone else calls me an ass. I guess that means my words are only meant for you.” He was reaching up towards me at an odd angle, and his wrist looked bare without his bracelet on it. He ran his own hand through my hair and I shuddered. Just the feeling of Eren touching me once in a while was enough to keep me happy. The occasional kiss, his body up against mine in bed. Even if it took us months, hell even if it took us years to get back to where we were, I’d be perfectly content. He must’ve seen the look towards him in my eyes change, because his tears slowed and the green became slightly more vivid.

“L-Levi?”

“I…No matter how long it takes Eren….I’ll always be by your side. Okay?” He smiled and the tears started again, but this time, I believe they were actually brought on by happiness. 

“I’m so glad.” I smiled at him and got his hair wet, and began soaping it up, as the water was beginning to get cold. “Mhmm I like it when you take care of me.” I smiled and kept rubbing the soap into his scalp. I rinsed the suds away and began washing him. The rest of our bath was rather hasty, because the water was starting to cool off quickly. I helped him out and wrapped a big towel around him, soaking up the water from his skin. He leaned against me for support. The cold air from the room brought goose bumps to the surface of my own wet skin, but Eren needed to be dried first. After I ran the towel over his hair, I threw it in the hamper and grabbed a fresh one for myself.

“Lean against the sink.” He did so as I dried myself, and I indulged my curiosity as I stood next to him. “Can you wiggle your toes yet?” He frowned and looked down at his leg. He put all of his effort into making his muscles move, and sure enough, the toes peeking out from his cast sprung to life. I raised my eyebrow at him and he smiled. “I’ll call for the doctor as soon as we are dressed. Guess you’ll be going on recon with us brat!” He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug. I saw my own reflection staring back at me in the mirror, and sure enough, I was smiling. I was more than happy I wouldn’t have to leave Eren behind. But on the other hand I was less than excited to deal with the doctor.

“But you know what that means right?” Green eyes peered down at me curiously and he shook his head. “We’re going to have to bust our asses to get into shape for recon. All day training until we leave. It’s going to be hell.”

“That’s okay, Levi. It’ll make us stronger.” This brat and his determination. I reach up and ruffled his hair, frowning as I did so. It seemed like he’d grown another inch. How tall was he going to get anyways?

“Can I ask you a personal question Eren? I know you usually don’t talk about your parents much…but how tall was your dad?” He frowned and thought for a minute. 

“5’9”-5’10”, somewhere around there…why?” I groaned and had him lean on me again as we walked towards the bed. 

“You already tower over me…it’s like you had another growth spurt. I can tell.” I frowned as I sat him down on the bed and helped him dress. He was looking at me as I spoke and   
I realized I sounded like an idiot. He rested his hand on top of my head and rubbed it, just like Erwin used to do. 

“But I like you the way you are, Heichou. I can’t help it if I’m growing.” I smirked and placed a kiss to his lips after I pulled the shirt over his head. 

“Saying it that way make me sound like a pedophile.” A rush of color fled to Eren’s cheeks and he looked away. I chuckled and turned him to face me again. “I’m joking. Age doesn’t matter to me. Just like gender. It’s not about what’s right and wrong. It’s about finding the right person and falling in love with them. The powers that be don’t set guidelines for that.” I placed another kiss on his lips, this time deepening it. I poured out my heart into that kiss. I silently told him how happy I was that he could go with me. And within that kiss, there was also a hint of relief, follow by a hint of fear. He understood it all and kissed back passionately, filling my need for contact, for his taste. After we pulled apart, I placed one last kiss to his neck and retreated to the dresser to put my own clothes on. 

“Eren, stay here. I’m going to call for the doctor. Hopefully that nuisance will be off of your leg today!” I said with a smile as I slipped on my shoes and walked out the door. Not that I minded having him lean against me, but he would be happier. Plus, I get the added benefit of him going on recon with me. Now, to just find someone to send to town.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren get's his regeneration back! ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren get's his regeneration back! <3 woot!

“Sasha, are you busy?” 

“No, sir!” 

“I need you to go to town for me and call for the doctors.”

“Is it an emergency sir?!” She asked as she started scarfing down the rest of her food. She was slinging crumbs everywhere.

“No, Eren’s cast is ready to come off today. He’s got his regeneration back.” She quickly finished up and headed off, leaving me in the kitchen by myself. I went ahead and made   
some tea while I was there. Maybe it would give me a little boost. The coffee certainly wasn’t helping. He was still smiling when I returned to him.

“I sent Sasha. Tea?”

“Sure!” I poured us both a cup and sat down with him.

“Hopefully they’ll be here soon, then you’ll be free of that thing.” I said with a smile. I sipped on my tea slowly, enjoying the warmth. 

After about 45 minutes or so, the doctors finally arrived, and I helped Eren down the stairs to the same familiar exam room. I helped him up on the table, and they examined his   
leg carefully.

“You haven’t had this cast on very long Jaeger. Move your toes.” He did so, even stronger than he had managed an hour earlier. “That’s amazing! It’s definitely healed!” I was standing at his side, holding his hand as they began to saw at the plaster. The sinking in my stomach started and Eren gripped my hand and leaned his head against me. Now wasn’t the time to puke. It was the time to be strong for him. I ran my fingers through those brown locks that I loved so much and whispered comforting words, and eventually, the cast was off. He was trembling as the doctor examined his leg. I just held him tight against me, rubbing circles against his back. 

“Everything looks healed, but I would like to see you put some weight on it before we leave here.” I let him drop down gently off of the table, and he grimaced as he put a little bit of weight on it. It was sore, but he managed. “Looks good! Rest up for another day, but with your regenerative powers, training should be fine tomorrow I should say.” 

“Alright!” He was grinning and I could tell he wanted to run, but I grabbed his arm.

“Thank you.” I said as we walked out of the door slowly. He was limping as we walked, realizing that his leg hurt a lot more than he thought it did. “Just slow down Eren. Take your time. You may not be as healed up as you think you are.” He frowned and leaned against the wall. 

“I’m fine, it’s just weak.” He began walking again, until we made it to the steps. 

“Do you need help-“

“No. I can do it!” I stayed silent. I knew he had to do this on his own, but seeing him in pain wasn’t something that sat well with me. One grueling step at a time, we finally made it up. He was breathing hard as we finally made it through the door, and I had him sit on the bed and rest. 

“I’m going to take the tray and cups down. Just rest for a minute.” I grabbed the cups and headed for the door and all of a sudden the room began to spin. I tried to stabilize myself, but it didn’t do any good. I went down with a crash, and I was out.

 

Eren’s POV

I sat down on the bed and Levi grabbed the cups from our tea earlier. He’s always tidying up the room, so it was no surprise he wanted to take them back down. Something went wrong though. As I was trying to catch my breath, I saw Levi stumble and fall. The cups and tray fell with him and broke all over the floor. Thankfully, I wasn’t weighed down by my cast anymore, so I sprung up from the bed and ran over to him. He was still breathing, but the circles under his eyes looked even darker. That’s right…he hadn’t slept last night. Had he even eaten anything today? I sighed. 

“Levi!” It was no use. He was out cold. His hand was bleeding, so I ran into the bathroom to get the first aid kit. I treated it quickly and although it went against my doctor’s orders of resting for the day, I picked Levi up and put him in the bed. I climbed up bedside him and waited patiently for him to wake up. He groaned suddenly and put his hand on his head. “Levi! Are you alright?” He popped his eye open to stare at me kneeling beside him. 

 

“What happened?”

“You passed out. I think you should stay in bed…” He chuckled and reach for my hand. His was slightly cold, so I drew the covers up over him.

“So you are taking care of me now? Talk about role reversal.” I frowned as I looked at his tired eyes.

“I don’t mind.” I whispered as I held onto his hand. I really didn’t. He turned his head to look at the mess in the floor and sighed. 

“Wow, guess I made a mess too huh?” I nodded and patted his hand. “But you’ve grounded me, so I’ll get it later. Cuddle with me then? I can’t sleep without you next to me Eren. 

That’s why I couldn’t sleep last night.” I felt a blush start creeping up my neck from that statement and I crawled under the covers with him. 

“Anything to make you feel better.” He wrapped his arms around me with a content smile, and within a matter of seconds he was breathing softly, sleeping soundly. He really was on the edge of exhaustion. Had I driven him there? Was he so worried about me that he had trouble sleeping? I pushed those thoughts to the back of my head as I settled down against his side and let my own sleep take over. I had a pretty restless night as well, and a nap seemed like a perfect idea.

 

A few hours later

We awoke at roughly the same time. Levi looked a lot better. He seemed like the rest had helped him immensely. 

“Am I still grounded?” he joked as he stroked my hair.

“No, but you can stay in bed with me.” I said as I looked up into his eyes. I silently pleaded him to stay and won. Maybe he would explain to me what happened the other day in town, now that things had calmed down. 

“Fine, I’ll stay brat. Since you are giving me those big eyes of yours.” I reach my arm up to tangle in his hair and he sighed as my fingers found his scalp. 

“Hey Levi…Do you want to talk about what happened in town the other day?” He sighed and reach his hand up to his head.

“Not really…but I guess I have to. I’ll do it for you.” I frowned and listened to him speak. “Eren, just don’t think any differently of me after I tell you this please. That’s all I ask.”

“Okay. Deal.” I leaned up and kissed him, and he began his story.

“So, I lived in the underground. It wasn’t an easy life, by any means. I was pretty much on my own from a young age, so I had to do what I could. Well…” he took my hand and laced our fingers together. “When I was a teen growing up, I had no way of making money besides stealing and ugh…doing favors for people.” 

“So like odd jobs?”

“Fuck Eren, are you really that thick? I did sexual favors.” My mouth dropped open and I stared at him. 

“Seriously?!”

“Yeah. It’s not like I’m proud of it okay? You do things you aren’t proud of when you are so hungry you can’t think.” I let go of his hand and wrapped my arms around his neck instead. 

“It’s okay. It doesn’t change anything.” I felt him bury his head into my neck and wrap his arms around my waist. “You’re still my Levi.”

“Eren…when I say I understand about everything that went on that night with the kidnapping….it’s because I do. I’ve never been kidnapped, but I’ve been in some situations like that and it’s hard to deal with the after effects. So….I’m just trying to help you all I can, cause I’ve been there. You get yourself into some fucked up situations when you do what I did. People don’t want to pay. Or they get mad and try to…force you to do too much…I won’t go into details, but it didn’t always go as planned. ” I felt tears stinging at my eyes, but I held them back for Levi’s sake.

“I love you.” That was all I could bring myself to say as I stroked his hair. No wonder he was so guarded. No wonder he hardly ever smiled. But he smiled for me. He laughed for me. He fell in love with me. We’d both been victims of this cruel world more than once, and together we’d help each other pick up the broken pieces.

“I love you too, Eren. Thanks for understanding.” We brought our lips together in a tender kiss and just laid there for a while, softly taking in the presence of each other. 

 

A few days later

Eren’s POV

“Ugh! I’m so tired!” I collapsed on the bed with a sigh and listened to Levi’s footsteps around the room. I felt my damp hair sticking to my face. At least I was clean now. We had trained for hours today. Levi had kicked my ass with running, every exercise known to man, hours on the 3-D gear, followed by more running, followed by a hot shower. 

“I warned you, remember?” I heard him say from the bathroom. I sighed and rolled over.

“I know! But still!” I closed my eyes and let my muscles ease into the bed. He entered the room in just his pants and I let out a sigh as I looked over him. I reach for his hand, which he gladly gave and I yanked him down on the bed with a chuckle. 

“Hey!” I grinned and pulled him into a kiss. I heard a soft moan and felt him close the space between us and wrap a warm arm around me. The kiss deepened, and my brain   
started screaming at me. My brain and body had been fighting the last few days. My body wanted more, while my brain wanted to stop. It usually ended up in me kissing Levi until   
I eventually had a panic attack, then he would hold me until me tears would stop. I couldn’t push myself to go any further, but I wanted to so bad. I wanted things to return to normal. I knew in my heart that Levi wasn’t the enemy, but my brain needed convincing. We pulled apart for a moment, gasping for breath. My head was spinning. I was trying to win a battle. I was fighting back the urge to panic. I was taking deep breaths, trying not to remember the bad memories, but the good ones. I only tried to picture the good memories of me and Levi doing those things together and the fear in my chest eased a little. “Eren…”

“Just…kiss me. Please.” I brought our lips together softly again and right then I’d overcome a hurdle. I’d surpassed the panic attack. A wave of happiness passed through me and Levi’s hand it’s way into my hair. That’s when I realized that waves of pleasure were starting to wind their way through my body as well. Ugh oh. I thought for a moment. Were we just going to take care of it like we had in the shower a few days ago…or should I try to let him…WOAH. A pang of panic over swept me and I pulled away from the kiss and buried my head in his chest.

“Eren, you okay?” He was breathing hard. I just nodded against his chest and tried to breath deep. It’s Levi. He saved me. He’s my boyfriend. He loves me. He won’t hurt me. Breathe. 

“Y-yeah.” I leaned my head up again, although a bit shaky this time and kissed him again. He leaned over me and pressed against me. I knew instantly he could feel how hard I was. I was relieved to feel him as well. 

“No pressure, yeah? Just-“

“Levi…will you just…touch me. Please. I’m sorry, I think I’m ready. I don’t know. I’m scared. Just…” I sighed and leaned my forehead against his. He pressed a kiss to my lips. 

“Eren, if anything feels wrong, just tell me and I’ll stop. Got it?” I nodded and relaxed a bit. He stared at me with his piercing eyes. “No, tell me you will tell me if something’s wrong. Promise me.”

“I promise!” He pulled me up against the pillows and kissed me again. Then he pulled the covers up over both of us and pulled my shirt off. “L-levi?” He started pressing kisses to my chest and I arched against him. I felt him smirk against my skin. 

“Mhmmm?” He kissed a trail all the way down to my hips and then I began to feel uncomfortable.

“O-Okay.” He immediately lifted his head up and returned to kiss my lips. He moved back down my jaw line, down my neck and lingered there for a moment. I knew what was coming next. I let out a small moan as I felt his tongue brush over my skin, then I felt him suck on my neck. “Levi!” He chuckled as he pulled away and climbed on top of me   
slightly. 

“This okay?” I nodded and he offered his neck up to me. I remembered our stupid fight before Christmas as I pressed my lips to his neck. I kissed and licked a few times before leaving my own mark. I intentionally left it above the spot his cravat would hide. I heard him chuckled again and it sent electricity through me. God I loved his laugh! It was enough to fuel me. He was pulling away and I yanked him back down to leave another. He moaned this time and I smiled as I pulled away. 

“Something’s got into you huh?” He said with a grin. He felt so warm against me. I wish we could just lay in bed without shirts on all day. The blankets around us kept all of our body heat in as well. I felt his hand run down my chest, abs, hips, to my waistband and I shivered. “Can I take them off?” I nodded and felt him undoing the tie to my pants. For a second I felt panic. I just had to remember to keep my eyes focused on him the whole time. He slid my pants off under the covers and threw them onto the floor. I saw through his plan now. No wonder we were under the covers. He didn’t want me feeling so ‘exposed’. I still had my underwear on, but I could feel the soft sheets pressing against my legs and the fabric of Levi’s pants against mine also. “Mine next then.” He took his own off next and slung then into the floor with mine, leaving us both in our underwear. God, it felt so nice to have his legs pressing so warmly and snuggly up against mine! It was just so…right. 

“Eren…You alright? Need to take a break?” Our eyes connected and he burrowed his way back up to me. The bed was our playground right now, or else he’s be driven crazy with the messy state it was in. He playfully laid his head on my shoulder and I looked down at him and smiled.

“I’m okay. Just…apprehensive.” He blinked his eyes slowly and leaned his head up I closed the gap between us and kissed him. His hair was disheveled, and it was driving me wild. Seeing Levi like this just drove me crazy. He got that look of lust in his eyes, and he completely forgot about being tidy. He forgot about being neat. All he cared about was me. 

“I’m not going to hurt you. I promise. If you need me to stop, just say the word.” He shifted again and slid down my body. I saw him remove his own underwear and throw them out from under the covers. “You ready? I’m just going to touch you. Nothing more. Unless you tell me differently.” He said as he stared at me, with his eyes practically glowing.

“C-Can you….lay on your side maybe? So we can…so I can…touch you too?” He raised his eyebrow and stared at me.

“Are you sure.” I was sure my face was just going to evaporate from the heat. Could skin even evaporate?!

“Yes! Just-Please!”

“Okay! Okay.” He was smiling as he carefully threw the covers off of the bed. He stripped my last piece of clothing off and it was all I could do to not squeeze my eyes shut. I chose for the covers to be thrown. I chose to be ‘exposed’ to Levi. I didn’t want to hide anything from him. He’d waited this long. He laid down beside me, facing the opposite way. I could see every expression this way, however. He ran his hand up my thigh, and I shivered and then he went straight for my cock. I let out a moan, all thoughts and fears being pushed aside as pleasure forced its way into the picture. I’d forgotten how good it felt when he touched me like that. The touch only he could give me. I shakily reach my own hand out through ragged breaths and grabbed a hold of him. He let out a moan as well and it surprised me. I for sure thought it would trigger an attack, but it was purely Levi’s voice, and that was golden territory. I pumped in time with his own motions and watched his expressions at the foot of the bed. Fuck. Could he get any sexier? His mouth was slightly open, and his muscles were flexing as he worked my cock. I let out a gasp as a particularly strong wave of pleasure shook through me. I was a whimpering mess.

“Fuck, Eren. So good.” Yes. Yes he did get sexier. He had reach his hand up into his hair and now some of the longer strands were hanging down into his face. He was watching me as well. This wasn’t good. I was already close. He was pumping me hard and I felt the coil in my stomach start.

“L-Levi…getting close.” 

“Fuck yeah. Come for me.” That was my undoing. A few more pumps and I arched and moaned, coming hard into his hard. I continued my pumping and he came a few seconds later, swearing and moaning as he did. I wiped my hand on the sheets and collapsed against the pillows. I just wanted him close. I wanted to feel him up against me, because he’d moved. I felt empty. He returned with a wet washcloth and he was wiping me down, even cleaning up the bed a little. He threw the washcloth in the bathroom and jumped back into bed with me. It did feel better to be clean, but having his heat was much nicer. I snuggled right up to him, and wrapped my arms and legs around him. We were still both naked, and it was just an afterthought that maybe he minded, but I didn’t really think that was the case, so I stayed put. I was rewarded with a deep kiss and an arm pulling me even closer if possible.

“Mmmm….I love you. That was. Wow. You did great.” I blushed and just pressed my face into his chest. I’m sure the red was just radiating off of me. It had to be. 

“It’s because you were so patient…Thanks. Love you too.” He lifted my face up and kissed me. We just stayed like that for the rest of the evening, basking in our accomplishment and enjoying the heat of each other on the chilly day.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The recon mission begins!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's officially 12:25, on December 25th, which means two things! It's Christmas AND it's Levi's Birthday!!! Happy Birthday Levi!!! ^.^ <3333
> 
> Go enjoy a little smut <3

Before we knew it, it was time for the recon mission to begin. It was almost déjà vu all over again as we readied our horses by the front gate, waiting for the others to arrive, however this time it was a little different. It was a bitterly cold day. The weather was so unbearable the last few days that Erwin had dropped off a crate of gloves and scarves just for this mission, so everyone could at least try to stay warm. Eren had tied mine for me in the hallway before we headed out, and I did the same for him, covering up the marks on our necks for no one outside the scouts to see. It did trap in some of the heat but not nearly enough. They weren’t high quality scarves by any means, but they would do the job. The gloves were a combination of woven material and leather. We’d be able to keep our hands warm and still hold onto our blades if need be. I leaned against the wall with the reins in my hands. It was only me, Eren, Hanji, Erwin, and a few others. We were waiting on at least half the group. 

Eren joined me against the wall and our eyes locked. He’d regained a lot of the glow in his eyes, but not quite all of it. We still had a ways to go, but we had made a lot of progress. He frowned and looked towards the ground. 

“What’s up brat?”

“Just…the last time we went outside the walls didn’t turn out so well.” I leaned in and whispered in his ear.

“That’s up to interpretation. We wouldn’t be together if things hadn’t gone downhill.” I let my breath dance over his ear and stepped back a little. “You’ve got a better commander this time, Eren. Erwin is a hell of a lot better than me.” He looked over to Erwin, who was thumbing through papers.

“But you’ve killed more-“

“That doesn’t mean anything.” I stared at him blankly as I said that. “It’s staying alive that counts out here. Sure killing titans is a big deal…but keeping our numbers alive, that’s huge.” I heard hooves behind me and turned to see the rest of the group arriving. 

“Alright scouts! Everyone mount your horses!” We jumped up and glanced over at Eren. Erwin began roll call, making sure every scout was there and accounted for. I could feel the nervousness radiating off of him. “Let’s begin the expedition!” The bell rang and the gate lifted, and I kicked my horse into action. We galloped into formation and began running full speed through the old city.

“Into formation!” Erwin shouted. We tidied up our group and I glanced back to make sure Eren was behind me. I looked forward to see Erwin quite a bit further ahead of me. I saw a red shot fired in the distance. This early? Erwin fired his round and we changed direction. 

“Levi! Do you think we can catch one this time?” Hanji asked as she excitedly rode up to my side. I sighed and rode on.

“Probably not with our current numbers. Maybe if you help us get recruits.” 

“You want to catch one out here?! Are you crazy?!” Jean spat out. What a great team. Thanks Erwin. I’m so happy. Eren stayed silent and I glanced back again just to make sure he was still there. He had a frown on his face, but he was galloping closely behind me. Hanji was next to me, and Jean was behind Eren. 

“Eren! Stay focused!” I snapped. His eyes shot forward to me and I turned back around. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to bring him along…

“Yes, Heichou!” I smirked. Had that been instinct? We continued on for a while, weaving in and out of titan encounters and eventually dusk was beginning to threaten us. Erwin fired a blue round and we all met him ahead at an old crumbling castle. What a dump. 

“We are resting here for the night. We’ll keep watch in shifts of 3 hours. I have the names written down. Levi, Jaeger, Arlert, Kirstein. You have the first shift. You have 30 minutes before it starts.” I sighed. On a day where I could actually just lay down and rest, we would get the first watch shift. I heard a river nearby. I nodded at Erwin and walked around the edge of the decrepit building to find the stream I was searching for. Eren ran after me with a torch. 

“Agh, there it is. We have 30 minutes. I’m taking a bath.” 

“It’s like 20 degrees out here, Levi! You can’t be serious?!” I stared blankly at Eren and began walking towards the river. No one else seemed interested in the cold river. I took off my pack and Eren stared at me. “It’s freezing!” The sounds of laughter and camp being set up for the night filled the interior of the old building.

“Warm me up after.” I said as I began stripping down. I shivered as the cold air hit my chest. Eren pulled at my arm to try to stop me. 

“Levi! This is just-“ I jerked him forward and silenced his words with a kiss. No one had crept around the building back towards the frigid river. They could all sleep in their grime for all I cared. I felt his face go hot and he stiffened against me, then after I wrapped my arm around his waist he relaxed against me. We pulled apart with a content sigh. 

“Ridiculous.” He finished softly as he looked away.

“I promise a 30-second scrub down and rinse. I feel gross.” He frowned, nodded and sighed all at the same time and then suddenly, he began stripping off his own clothes. 

“Give me some soap. I’m not waiting to share.” I handed him an extra bar, and after we were both undressed we plunged into the freezing river and took the quickest bath we’d   
ever had. We both emerged mostly clean with ice in our hair. We threw the soap in our bags and dried off. Good thing we’d each packed a towel. We both threw on our change of clothes and threw the dirty ones in the bag. He was shivering as he desperately tried to wrap his cloak closer. I tied his scarf around him and pressed up against him. I checked my watch. 

“We’ve still got 25 minutes. That’s enough time to warm you up.” I said with a smirk. I lead him to the wall that faced the river. Luckily we’d brought a torch with us, and it illuminated our path. I pressed him up against the wall and firmly held myself against him. “We’ll warm up in no time.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and he wrapped his around my neck.

“Levi, This was such a bad idea.”

“Shut up. You get to have me pressed up against you because of it, so it’s not all that bad.” He smiled and pulled me closer, fumbling with my scarf as he did so. He made sure it was tied securely so my neck would stay toasty. “That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile today Eren. It’s not like you.” He frowned again and looked away.

“It’s just…I’m nervous. After everything that happened last time we went outside the walls and everything that happened during training. It’s left me kind of… doubting myself.” I narrowed my eyes as I looked into his. The light from the torch made his eyes glitter as I looked up into them.

“Listen to me Eren. You are highly capable. You wouldn’t have made it this far if you weren’t. Plus-“ I leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips. “You’ve officially been trained by 

‘Humanity’s strongest.’ Not many have had that privilege. No one can use the 3-D gear better than me.” He grinned this time and pushed his scarf out of the way so I could kiss him properly. I felt his face heating up and I was happy. At least that was working. Our kiss deepened and I pressed closer to him, trying to transfer my warmth into him. I heard him moan softly into the kiss and it made me even hungrier for his lips. We should probably stop soon or-oops. He pulled away from me with a soft gasp.

“Sorry! I-I-“ I could feel him getting hard against my thigh, and I smirked. I pulled my watch out of my pocket and clicked it shut again.

“We’ve got 20 minutes, brat. Let’s make it quick.”

“You can’t be serious?! What if someone-“

“Tick tock, tick tock.”

“Levi!” I crashed our lips together again, teasing him for another few seconds before pulling away. I was sure to rub my thigh against him in the process. Damn, I was getting hard too just thinking about it.

“Well, what’s the verdict?” The torch made his skin glow red in the first place, but I could still see the blush running across his cheeks.

“F-Fine. Just…quick. Please.” I smirked again, and leaned up to his ear.

“How do you want it? I’ve got a problem of my own by the way. So it’ll be double trouble.” I heard him whimper and I knew all of his logical thoughts had frozen up. I leaned in again. “I’ll do you first, just relax. Yeah?” He just nodded, and I kissed him again, before dropping to my knees.

“L-Levi…we haven’t d-done that since…”

“Do you trust me Eren?” He nodded and I smiled back up at him. I was thankful for the stone walkway beneath my knees. At least I wouldn’t get too filthy…from the ground at least. “If you want me to stop, just say so. I will.” He nodded again, and I unzipped his pants and pulled them along with his underwear halfway down. His cock bounced up to greet me in the cold winter air and I quickly took it into my mouth. He let out a whimper, and I shot up a cautionary glance his way, reminding him to keep quiet. He threw his hand over his mouth and leaned back against the wall. I could tell he wasn’t going to last long. I could still hear his faint whimpers through his hand. His other hand was gently ghosting through my hair. I began to bob my head up and down and he slammed his head back against the wall with a thud and another whimper. I deep throated him, and drew a sweet little muffled whine from him. I knew he was sensitive to the heat from my mouth, where It’d been absent for such a long time. 

“Levi! I-I’m-“ he struggled to whisper. I bobbed a few more times and he arched into my mouth and came with another whimper. He would have slid down the wall if I wouldn’t have sprung to my feet and caught him around the waist.

“Eren.” He was panting as I pushed him back against the wall. I pulled his pants back up and zipped them, and gave him a moment to come to his senses. 

“That was amazing. B-but…I-I don’t think I can do that yet…” he said as he took my hand. I looked into his eyes and saw a shadow of hurt lingering there. I pressed a kiss to his lips and leaned my forehead against his, which was pretty easy to do, considering how he was slouched against the wall.

“Like I said before, no pressure. Do what YOU feel comfortable with. I’m going to get off regardless, because no matter what you do to me, it’s a turn on.” His face flushed again in the light and I pressed back up against him I could feel the warmth radiating through us again. I felt a shaky hand reach for my zipper and he undid it quickly and yanked my own pants and underwear down. I shivered as the frigid air hit my sensitive skin, but Eren suddenly flipped us around and pressed me up against the wall. He captured my lips at the same time his warm hand wrapped around me and I couldn’t help but let out a small moan. “Eren, oh-“ 

“Shhh” He kissed me again, practically stealing all my words away as he fisted me harder. I was breathing and panting hard into the kiss, but he didn’t let up one bit. My breathing was becoming ragged as he pumped hard, almost in time to the kiss. He was driving me crazy. He wasn’t one to be dominant, and just having him press me up against the wall like this! A few more pumps, and I was getting close. I was gripping at his hip, squeezing tight. He kept his mouth firmly planted over mine as I moaned into the kiss and came, everything becoming hazy for a few seconds. After my breathing eased up, he finally broke the kiss and eased away from me, letting me pull up my own pants, because his hands was a bit…messy. 

“Shit…that was good. Let’s hurry and wash up and head back. It’s almost time. I quickly brushed my teeth in the river and he scrubbed his hands and we rushed to get back to the meeting area. Erwin was standing outside, leaning against the front wall.  
“That was a long bath for this time of year.” He said with a smirk. Eren’s face was still red. I checked my watch. We had made it to the post with one minute to spare. “I brought you two some rations, since you seemed to think ‘bathing’ was more important than dinner.” Erwin said as he tossed the pre-wrapped packets at me and Eren. He knew me too well. 

“Thanks.” He nodded and looked out across the field. 

“I haven’t seen any movement since it got dark, so hopefully it’ll be a pretty calm shift. Just keep your eyes peeled please. No distractions.” I nodded and he turned and headed inside. I looked over at Eren and his face was blood red. 

“Calm down, brat. It’s not that big of a deal. He doesn’t know for sure. For all he knows we were just having a make out session. He doesn’t even know that our relationship is back on track yet.”

“You tell him that kind of stuff?!” I shrugged and leaned back against the wall.

“Like I said, he’s the closest thing I have to a friend besides you that I have.” Eren whimpered and leaned against the wall with me. “Get closer. It’s fucking freezing out here.” He set the torch in the holder and leaned against me so we were touching sides. Our 3-D gear clanked together for a second, but we moved it and positioned it so we could at least receive a little body heat from each other. He peered across to the building’s opposite guard tower to look and see if Armin and Jean had arrived to their position safely. He sighed in relief when he saw the blonde hair pop into view. We both took a good look out over the field before opening our rations and tearing into dinner. I guess we hadn’t realized how hungry we were. He grimaced as he tried biting the tough dried meat. 

“I wish I had some raspberries and honey right about now…” he said with a grin as he bit into the stale bread. I smirked and started on my own jerky.

The time passed quickly, or as quickly as it could standing out in the freezing cold with nothing to do other than talk. It’s not that I minded talking with Eren, but your mind sort of goes blank in the cold like that trying to come up with subjects. We were finally down to the last 15 minutes of our shift, and we got on the subjects of what ifs. Not the bad what ifs, but the good what ifs.

“Okay, I’ve got one for you.” He said as he looked around carefully and nuzzled a little closer against me. “What are we going to do if…we actually win the war on the titans? What are we planning to do after?” My heart jumped for a second. Shit. I’d never thought about that. I wasn’t really GOOD at anything in particular, besides being a soldier. I frowned and looked up at him. 

“Hmmm…occupation wise…I’m not sure what I’ll do. You’re set, you can do portraits and drawings for people.”

“No…I mean…settling down.“ I’d never thought of a location. The war on the titans had seemed so never ending that, it’d just never crossed my mind.

“I don’t know. I like being near the city…so maybe a little house close to the center somewhere? Just you and me. Maybe a couple cats later on. A few bedrooms for our friends to stay.” He beamed down at me nodded. “Well until they tear those damn walls down at least, then we can completely venture out. Maybe go see that damn ocean you are always going on about.” He grabbed my hand at those words and his eyes lit up.

“Really?!” I smiled and nodded.

“Of course. That’s your dream. I’ll try to make it a reality if I can.” We heard footsteps behind us and Eren let go of my hand and took a step back.

“Okay lovebirds, the next shift is coming up. We are finally able to rest.” Jean and Armin greeted us with equally pale and cold smiles and we followed them inside. There were a few fires set up inside, but most of the direct spots around them were taken. “Shit, I guess we’ll be freezing all night then huh?” Jean said with a frown. The four of us chose a fairly isolated room in the corner of the crumbling castle, simply because this room looked the least dirty. We began laying out our bedrolls and I laid mine directly next to Eren’s. 

“Take that part and un-snap it, Eren.” He did so as I completely un-snapped mine. Screw this. I wasn’t freezing to death when I had a perfectly good heating-bottle of a titan boyfriend to snuggle up to. I stacked the two bottom parts of the bedrolls on top of each other and attached the two tops together as well. He looked at me puzzled for a second as I adjusted the snaps. “We’re sharing. I’m not freezing my ass off when I have you here. They can deal with it. It’s not like they don’t know.” Another blush rushed to his cheeks and I heard Jean snort. His bed was next to Armin’s, maybe hoping to catch some ounce of body heat as well.

“Get in.” He took off his 3-D gear and set it aside gently, along with his boots, before sliding down into the chilly lumpy ‘nest’ I’d made. Armin was already in his bed, but Jean watched with an entertained look on his face. I took off my own 3-D gear and pulled it close to the edge of the bed, before taking off my own grimy boots. Eren made as much space in the small bed as he could for me, and I crawled in. “Mhmm….warm.” Jean was climbing into his own bed by now and I could tell Eren was happy with this. He was so easily embarrassed. I snaked my arms around his waist and tugged him right up against me. He whimpered and let his head fall against my chest. “It’s cute when you turn so pink like that you know.” I murmured. 

“Levi!” I snickered and pressed a kiss to his head. 

“I love you, brat. Sweet dreams” I whispered softly. He looked up at me with those brilliant eyes and flushed cheeks, as if asking me for something. “Hmmm?” He peeked over the covers to make sure the others weren’t watching before he kissed me goodnight. 

“I love you too.” He let his own arms rest against my chest and I smiled, eventually drifting off to sleep in the frigid room.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recon continues!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance for the bad things...but enjoy <333

Eren’s POV

“TITANS!!!” I was rudely awoken to a scout screaming into the make-shift lodgings in the very early morning. Levi was already stirring against me, struggling to get out of the nest we’d made the previous night. We’d both managed to make it out, and slip on our boots and 3-D gear, before the walls shook.

“Armin! Jean! Get up!” I screamed. They were scrambling to get up and put on their gear. Levi was already tugging me into the corridor. I just had to put faith into my friends that they would stay alive, and get ready in time. Levi was dragging me to the front of the building frantically.

“Gotta get out! Get to the trees! Now!” He said calmly, but he put emphasis on each word. We made it out of the last door and soared into the trees surrounding the area. We finally saw what we were dealing with. Titans were circling the castle, trying to break the walls. There were at least 10. We heard a window break and saw Erwin shoot up into a neighboring tree. 

“Levi! How many on your side?” Erwin yelled.

“We’ve got six! You?”

“Four!”

“Shit…that’s not good.” He said as he stared down at the titans trying to break the walls. “Well….let’s get to work Eren! I believe in you! Don’t let me down.” We were standing on the same branch and I felt him loop his arms around my waist briefly, placing a quick kiss to my lips before plunging down onto the titan’s neck below, striking a critical hit. My stomach sank, but I took the plunge and dropped as well, landing on the nape on a 10 meter class. I used the momentum to cut deep, killing it instantly.

“Great job Eren! Keep Going!” I got one! The titans that were assaulting the walls suddenly turned to us and my heart sank. I shot my gear into the tree, barely missing the grasp of an oncoming 7 meter. Levi took out two more and I looked in the distance to see Erwin take one down. I released my gear from the tree and shot it into the 7 meter’s neck, pulling myself right up to it. I cut it’s nape out as I did so, and it fell. I tried the same trick with a 10 meter class, but suddenly a deviant came running out of nowhere, and I tried to avoid it, by shooting my gear into the tree, but the firing mechanism locked.

“Shit!”

“Eren!” Levi and Erwin reacted in a nearly a millisecond. Levi swooped down to scoop me up and Erwin took out the aberrant as swiftly as he could. “Fuck! That thing was crazy!” The 10 meter nipped at us as we soared over its head, but we spun and landed on it’s neck, taking it down as a team. Meanwhile, another deviant came barreling in, slamming into the ruins, making the wall crumble. We heard muffled orders coming from inside as we struggled to perch safely back into the trees. Levi set me down and checked my gear. 

“Of course it would misfire at a time like that!” I felt him fumble a tool into the handle of my gear and he nodded. “Fire Eren!” I shot it into a neighboring tree and it sent me forward. Levi and Erwin followed after me. “Hopefully it won’t act up again. We need to take those others out.” The titans were trying to pry their way into the building now, and more and more scouts were taking to the trees around us. “Come on! Move out!” Levi dropped down again, and I followed him, dropping down on another titan that was waiting for us near the make shift refuge. I struck it’s neck, but not deep enough on the first strike to prove fatal. Levi took his out on the first hit. “Focus Eren!” I struck again, killing the titan this time. I looked up to see Erwin land a critical hit on the last, and we finally landed safely on the ground. We were all covered in titan blood, although it was beginning to evaporate. Levi looked disgusted.

“Tch…nasty things.” I frowned and looked away from him. He took a cloth and began cleaning his blades as we began our brisk walk back to the main entrance. 

“Hanji! What’s the status here?” Erwin called out as we arrived. We stood patiently behind Erwin, awaiting orders, but constantly on the lookout for more titans.

“Six injured. Two missing. 3 dead. Some of the horses were killed with rubble.” I felt my fists ball up. I’d failed again. I looked over to Levi, and his face seemed to be emotionless at hearing the news. “Who are the two missing?” 

“Arlert and Kirstein.” I felt like the life had been knocked out of me. No. No way this was happening. My hands were trembling now. 

“How the scouts fan out NOW. Scan the area. Find them!” I went to put my hands on the trigger of my maneuver gear, but a leather glove wrapped around my own. Levi was looking up at me, compassion filling his eyes. No. No. 

“Eren. Stop.” 

“No! I’m going!” 

“It’s a command.” He hissed as he grabbed onto my wrist. Erwin turned to eye us both. “You need to get yourself together before we go. If you go looking like that, you may miss them. You’ll be upset and overlook something important.” 

“Levi’s right, you know.” Erwin said as he walked over in our direction. “Just take a minute to get your thoughts together.” Erwin patted me on the shoulder and shot off into the last direction they were seen. 

Levi’s hand was still on my wrist and the thoughts were screaming through my head. I pulled my hand off the trigger and let it fall lifelessly to my side, giving him the same hopeless look, my heart suddenly filled with. He tugged at my shirt and pulled me to the side of the ruins. Scouts were scrambling around us, tending to the wounded, crying, and mourning the 3 that had died, searching for Jean and Armin. I saw a flash of red and green fly up into the trees and I knew Mikasa was looking. I knew she couldn’t just stand around and wait. We were leaning against the wall and I kept breathing heavy, trying to keep myself together. Tears were welling up in my eyes. 

“Fuck all this.” Levi said as he looked around. There were soldiers sobbing behind us in the hallway and to the side of us, someone was preforming an emergency surgery of some kind. I choked as he pulled off his gloves and stuffed them in his pockets and I did the same. I could tell what he wanted to do, and I knew he was throwing all rational thought to the wind. I felt strong arms wrap around me and push me up against the wall, and I wailed. Tears began to pour out and he leaned closer, pressing his head next to mine. My shoulder, my anchor. My Levi. I sobbed for a while and held onto him, and he just shielded me from the cruel world that surrounded us. The cruel world that had made my best friend disappear so suddenly. I saw him shoot a few death glares as a few scouts walked by, but he stood there strong for me, until my tears had pretty much eased. 

“Heichou! I’ve been looking for you.” He turned slightly to see Mike staring at us awkwardly. “I-ugh it’s about the Arlert boy.” I couldn’t take anymore. I sniffled and held onto Levi’s arm. “Everyone said the first shift guards bunked together last night. I may be able to sniff them out if I can find their things. Were they with you?!” My eyes got wide and Levi nodded, grasping his hand around mine and jerking me forward. He was done being secretive. Done trying to please anyone but each other. We quickly maneuvered through the same hallway as the night before, although now it was riddled with crushed walls and more than a little blood and titan corpses. We finally made it to the section that we had stayed in the previous night. I dropped to my knees as I saw the whole wall had pretty much been ripped down. Our bedrolls remained thankfully, however their gear was gone. They’d made it out at least. I sighed as I looked over our room and Levi gripped my hand tight. Mike raised his eyebrow as he looked at the odd bed we’d made, but he made his way over to Jean and Armin’s. He took out a knife and cut pieces out of each. Erwin and Hanji jumped into the room from the outside, announcing that the teams had found nothing in the immediate surrounding area. Mike sniffed the air and pointed towards the east. There was hope at least. Levi pulled me up to my feet.

“Assemble every able scout now!” Erwin commanded. “Search and Rescue! Follow Mike!” Levi once again led me through the rubble to the make shift stable they had set up last night and I’d found that not only had two of my friends been lost, but my horse had been killed in the disaster this morning. I sighed as I looked at the mess before me. Levi sighed and pulled me along. 

“Come on brat. We’ll just have to double up.” 

“Hanji, Ackerman! Stay behind here. Help with triage and defending the injured!” Erwin commanded. I was jumping up behind Levi as I saw Mikasa freeze in place.

“But Commander!”

“We never leave a scout behind and defenseless! Please Ackerman! I know you can defend this place along with the wounded.” She looked down for a moment, but finally saluted and turned back to the castle. I knew she’d probably lost her cool and drained her gas dry while she was looking for them. Good thing Levi had helped me calm down. “Alright!  
Move out!” 

“Hang on Eren!” I grabbed ahold of Levi’s waist and he kicked the horse into a run almost immediately. We had a broken interpretation of our original formation. Our team was nearly completely gone anyways, so he just did his best to keep up with Mike and Erwin. Our horse was a bit shorter than the rest, I’m guessing to make it easier for Levi to get up in the stirrups, but it was just as fast. We saw a green round shoot left and we changed directions.

“Titan!” 

“Shit.” Levi cursed. A black round fired, followed by two more.

“Deviants!” We heard someone yell from the side.

“As in more than one?!” Levi called out. 

“Levi!” We saw Erwin turn and fall back as the others pushed forward. “Take them out!” I heard a familiar scream and saw Sasha just barely avoid being eaten. “Hurry!” He nodded and we shot sideways, breaking away from Erwin, who pushed back to the front. 

“Sasha, how many!” Levi yelled. 

“T-Three deviants!” She screamed. He hissed and looked around.

“Damn it! There’s nowhere for maneuver gear!” We heard another scream and the awful sounds of bones cracking. He turned and looked over his shoulder. “Eren…stay calm. But I need you to do something.” 

“The left flank has been wiped out!” My eyes got wide at what he just asked me 

“Can you do it Eren? Can you work with me?” He said calmly as we rode forward. How could he be so calm at a time like this?

“Yes!” I cried out as I gripped around his waist. 

“Sasha, report to Erwin. Tell him our plans. NOW. Tell him to report with a green round straight up for go, or a red round for no.” We galloped forward, simply watching as the scouts to our side simply tried to weave in and out of the 3 aberrants. 

A green round was suddenly fired straight up into the air and my stomach twisted. I felt his hand leave the reins and grip around mine. “You can do it Eren!”

“Connie! Grab the reins!” Connie rode over and took the reins from Levi and we both jumped off of the horse. I tore into my hand just as we were about to hit the ground, and with a sudden pop, we both soared straight up, him holding onto my titan’s brown hair. 

I roared and caught the attention of the 3 deviants. I saw the group continue ahead, and I knew our plan had worked to draw attention away at the very least. Now came the hard part. The first one was so fast as it hit me that it nearly knocked Levi off of my shoulder, but he held on and shot his gear into it neck, slicing through the nape immediately killing it. I picked him up off the ground quickly and placed him back on my shoulder. Knowing that not doing so would be his death. The second deviant was strong. It ripped off my titan’s arm as it approach and I let out a scream as I stumbled back.

“Shit! EREN!” Levi shot his maneuver gear into it neck once again, hitting it critically. The third, however was a different story. I picked him up again and he tried to hit it with his maneuver gear, but it took a quick swing at him on my shoulder. I instinctively caught the punch, and took off the 3rd’s head, knocking it to the ground. I crushed the nape of its neck with one final blow. “Awesome job Eren! Now catch up to the others! Hurry!” Levi shot a yellow round into the air and I hurried after them. Erwin shot a blue round and the horses came to a stop as he saw us approaching. “Okay, come out now Eren!” I struggled, but I dislodged myself and Levi helped pull me free. My titan crashed to the ground and we jumped aside and headed for the group. So much for the hard weeks of training. I could walk, but I was exhausted. “That’s it brat, keep walking.” He had him arm around me, and we were both drenched in blood where he had to help pull me free. 

“Did you guys take care of them?” Erwin rode up and my knees nearly buckled.

“Yeah. Sorry, that was the only plan I could come up with on flat ground.” 

“We’ve never dealt with that many deviants at once. I’m just glad we didn’t have more deaths than that. Good job Jaeger! Levi! Alright, we move out in 5 minutes!” I struggled to make myself walk in the direction of Connie, and he met us halfway with our horse. 

“Get up first.” Levi said as he held onto the reins. I looked at him weird, but jumped up onto the horse. I felt him jump up behind be and I felt red creeping up my neck and onto my face. “Hold onto the reins for a minute.” I took the reins and he began adjusting my scarf, tying it up tight around my neck. He pulled his arms around me and took the reins in his hands, and my blush just deepened. He trot up next to Erwin in the formation and Erwin gave him an odd look. 

“I’m not having you fall off, Eren. I know how tired you get after you transform.” He felt so warm against my back. I could already feel my eyes getting heavy. “Oi! He elbowed me in the side. Stay awake brat.” My eyes popped open and I remembered why we were here in the first place. Why couldn’t this just be a dream? Just one of my normal nightmares? Then I could wake up in Levi’s arms like this and everything would be fine. 

Erwin shot his green round into the sky and I gripped onto the saddle. I have to say, I liked holding onto Levi a lot better than this. We were running at an alarming pace now, switching directions every few minutes. 

“There! Arlert and Kirstein!” I didn’t want to look up, but I forced myself. 

“Shit!” I heard Levi say as he looked ahead. They were cornered. Jean was standing bravely in front of Armin on the ground with his sword drawn. Their gear must have been broken. A titan was snapping at them, huffing so angrily it was blowing his hair. An oncoming group of 6 titans were circling them and I gripped onto the saddle. 

“Retreat!” Erwin called as he began to back up. No. 

“No we can’t leave them!” I yelled.

“I’m not risking countless lives for two Jaeger! I’m sorry!” Erwin said as he began turning. 

“NO!” Levi wrapped his arms around me and I could feel his hands on mine. 

“Erwin! We can’t abandon them!” Levi protested.

The rest of the group was turning, and trotting away, leaving me and Levi staring at my friends. Levi reach over and tugged at Erwin’s cloak. “Please!” 

“Don’t get emotionally involved Levi!” he said as he galloped off. My heart was breaking. He was gripping the reins tight, and we weren’t budging from the spot.

“Eren…I’m not asking you to disobey his orders…but we need to make our minds up quickly. Can you transform again?” My heart began to panic. I had only done it a few times, and hardly anyone those had turned out good.

“Yes! I can, but it’s iffy! I’m not sure what will happen!”

“I’ll cut you out if it goes sour! Let’s go!” I felt Levi jerk me off the horse and he sent it off to run with the scouts. 

“Levi! What are you-“

“Now Eren!” I bit into my hand and transformed again, picking him up in the same way. Emotions swirled through me, and anger swelled inside. I was so angry. SO ANGRY. I saw the titan draw their attention to us and that’s just what I had wanted. I decapitated the first that approached, immediately severing his weak spot. The second, Levi jumped onto, taking out his nape. The third, I kicked, knocking him to the ground with a roar, before picking Levi back up. I had to remember we were a team. I had to look after him. I finished off the titan I had knocked down and Levi dropped down on another. I grabbed him again and I went after another. This one, I simply crushed his neck in my hand. The 6th I knocked down, just like the one I had kicked earlier, and ripped his nape out, while Levi jumped down on the one that was cornering Jean and Armin and cut in into pieces. I let out a roar and began stomping it once he was out of the way. 

“Eren! It’s done!” I just wanted to sleep. That’s all I wanted. I was so tired.

 

Levi’s POV

“Shit!” I shot my maneuver gear into his shoulder and began hacking at the flesh in his nape, pulling him out after I finally broke through. He came out in one steaming, bloody sleepy mess. “Eren!”

“Levi…are they okay?” 

“Yeah. You started losing it though.” I sighed and reach for him. 

“Levi! Don’t you ever fucking disobey my orders again!” Erwin trotted up with Mike and looked at the mess in front of him.

“Don’t ever leave a comrade behind in front of me Erwin!” I hissed. Jean and Armin began walking forward, clinging to each other and shaking. “That’s despicable!” Erwin just frowned at me.

“I can’t sacrifice 20 to save two, Levi! It’s not right! You don’t understand my position here!” I looked down at Eren, he was staring up at me through hooded eyes. “And you can’t always make decisions based on your emotional connections either!” he spat out before turning on his heal and walking off. 

“Asshole.” Eren grunted and lost consciousness. He was actually bleeding. I must have grazed him with my sword. “Shit. Hopefully it heals soon.” I picked him up and carried him back to the horse that I’d set loose. Hopefully it would return. I whistled, and just like that it came back to me.

“Commander Erwin was going to leave us?!” Jean said as he walked with me back to the main group. I sighed as I had him hold Eren up on my horse. 

“He didn’t have much of a choice. If we all would have went, it would have been a massacre. Eren risked his life to save you two. It’s kind of a hit or miss. He transformed twice to get to you two.” I jumped up behind him and let him slump against me. “Find someone to partner up with. We’ve got a long ride back.”

He was breathing heavy against me as we rode back, but I was happy to know he was okay at least. I’d cut his shoulder, trying to free him from his titan form. He’d probably be all but healed by the time we got back. 

It was nearing sundown by the time we were arrived back. Mikasa was happy to see her friends had arrived safely. She was a little less than happy to see Eren so exhausted. Hanji met me in the makeshift stable and held him up as I dismounted. 

“He’s so wiped out! What happened?” I jumped off and pulled him down into my arms and his eyes fluttered open. 

“He transformed twice.” I said as I lifted him up easily. They had gathered all the leftover bedrolls from the destruction and thrown them into the main room of the crumbling castle. And there was ours, just as we’d left it. I smirked as I laid him down on top of it. 

“We’d figured that was yours.” She said with a soft smile. A light blush formed on Eren’s cheeks and he reach out his hand. 

“How’s your shoulder, Eren?” I asked gently. He grunted and opened his eyes the rest of the way.

“Doesn’t feel too good.” His shirt was obviously stained, and his blood had ran onto my cloak earlier, but I had paid it no attention. He would heal with his titan abilities. Right? I grimaced and pulled his shirt up, revealing the cut that I had made. It was still bleeding, even after the long ride back.

“Shit! I didn’t know. I thought it would heal!” He gripped my hand tight and I leaned over him. 

“S’okay.” Hanji ran off to get the first aid box, and I just sat there and watched red drip from the wound. “Could be where I did it twice. Where I’m worn out.” I nodded and leaned over him.

“I didn’t mean to cut you. I’m sorry.” She began cleaning the wound and poured quick clot into. He gripped my hand tight. I knew the familiar sting well. Afterwards, she began wrapping his shoulder in bandages. 

“Not your fault.” He said with a smile as he ran his thumb over my hand. Armin and Jean settled in next to us along with Mikasa. Hopefully tonight would be a little less eventful. Erwin called off the names of night watch, and thankfully our names had been left off the list. I brought back rations for our small group, including Hanji and we all ate in silence, aside from Eren of course. He whimpered every time I tore off a piece of stale bread and shoved it in his mouth. He was too exhausted to do much else than chew and swallow. 

Afterwards we all got into our bedrolls for the night. It had been an exhausting day. Eren tugged at my sleeve. I slipped off my boots and climbed in beside him, earning a few more than odd stares from the scouts around us. I groaned and pulled the covers up around us. He was turning pink again.

“I don’t give a fuck what they think.” I muttered as I pulled him close to me. “This fucking day sucks. This whole world sucks. You however Jaeger…you are definitely a good thing.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The scouts attempt to head back to the walls after all the loses from the attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad things happen. Just hang in there 3 SORRY! It will get better!!!! I promise!!!!!! T.T

I was just drifting off as I heard a pair of boots at my head.

“Levi!” I looked up to see Erwin staring down at me.

“Fuck off.” He frowned and shoved me with his boot. 

“I need to talk to you.” I groaned and buried my head in Eren’s back.

“And I need to sleep, but you are bothering me. Go fuck yourself, Erwin.” He sighed and nudged me again. I heard Eren groan this time and he moved. “Shit, you’re gonna wake up the brat.”

“Then step outside and talk with me.”

“Piece of shit…” I rolled out of the covers and Eren let out a shiver. I slid on my boots and followed him out into the night. We leaned against the wall and looked out over the   
same field that Eren and I had watched for three hours the previous night. “So?”

“I was out of line. You were right. It was wrong of me to leave them behind like that.” I huffed and saw my breath freeze and turn to mist in front of me. “Usually you have a damn good reason for disobeying my orders, if you ever do at all. You have a good heart Levi. I was wrong to assume that just because it was Eren’s friends, doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t have done it for anyone else. I forgot how dear your comrades are to you. Each and every scout.”

“Damn right you did.”

“So…I apologize. You have the right to tell me from now on when I’m out of line. Don’t ever let me leave a comrade behind again.” I nodded and looked up at the stars.

“I could see where you were coming from…but don’t doubt Eren’s abilities so much…or mine for that matter. We’ve trained our asses off. We still have more training to do, but in an emergency, we work well together.” 

“Yeah, I understand. Speaking of working well together. What happened to the whole keeping it cool thing? Now you guys are all snuggled up together in one bedroll all of a sudden?”

“Tch…well I decided it’s not worth it to care what other people think. Every day out here could very well be our last, and Eren needs my support and love out here the most, so that’s how it’s going to be.”

“An open relationship then? Completely?” My heart pounded at the thought, even the brass would get wind of this, but hey, no risk, no reward right?

“Yeah. Completely.”

“Alright. Go for it Levi. I can tell how strongly you feel about him, but like I said before. Don’t let it interfere with any of our missions, got it?”

“Got it. If anything it’ll make it easier for me to pull him back to me out of titan mode.” Erwin raised his eyebrow and nodded. “Can I go back to sleep now?” I asked with a yawn. When did I get so cranky? Maybe I just needed Eren’s warmth. Who knew?

“Sure. I just wanted to clear the air with you.” I nodded and started back inside.

“Goodnight Erwin.”

“Night, Levi.”

I drug myself through the hallways again, back to the comfort of my sleeping boyfriend. Nearly everyone was packed into the main room of the castle. Oh…what was this? I raised my eye brow to look over at Armin and Jean. Surely they weren’t that close to just give each other body heat. I chuckled to myself as I remembered the way Jean was standing in front of Armin earlier today. He was defending him, doing everything in his power to try and protect the smaller man. I sighed as Eren’s warmth hit my cold body and he shivered and groaned.

“Leviiiii.”

“Shhhhh. I’m here.” I wrapped my arms around him and he pushed back against me. 

“Love you.” He whispered as his eyes opened to look at me. I smiled at him kissed him. 

“Love you too brat.” We snuggled into each other’s warmth and fell asleep.

 

_I want that one! He looks cute! I was being dragged through the alley. I had done it a couple of times, so it was no big deal I guess. The others had trained me on how to be good.  
How to say and do the right things. How to make money. God knows I needed to eat tonight. We reached the end of the alley, and I dropped to my knees. I heard him unzip his pants and I was ready to get to work. I reach out my hand. It was always money first. If they didn’t have the money, then you would refuse service. _

_“Oh guess I left my wallet.” I heard the knife click open. I went to draw mine, but he already had his at my throat. “And I want a little MORE than that I think. Turn around. No. No they said this was all I had to do! Just get on my knees and! I felt the knife press into my neck and he kicked me into the wall. I felt my pants being ripped off and I was struggling to get away, but he caught me and it was too late. I was dirty. So dirty I couldn’t be cleaned any more. I felt tears sting my face and in a second of pleasure he dropped his knife and I grabbed it and cut him. There was blood. So much blood. And screaming. It was loud. Was it me? Levi?_

 

“Levi!” I was being shaken awake and Eren was staring at me with his wide eyes. Most of the room had their eyes on us and I felt my face turn from pale to red. I knew immediately what had happened. 

“Eren? Oh God…” I twisted my hand in his shirt and he pulled me close. I still felt the eyes on me. I knew they were all staring. Watching with prying eyes.

“He’s fine! Go back to sleep!” I heard Eren snap. Wait…Eren yelled that? For me? My eyes were wet. I felt the covers go up over our heads and he looked down at me.

“Levi…are you alright? You had a bad one didn’t you?” He was so understanding. I felt his hands on my back and I let out a shaky breath. 

“Yeah…about the underground. About…” I whispered. I paused for a minute and shook my head against his chest. He kissed my head and ran his fingers through my hair. I didn’t   
know if I could bring myself to say it. 

“You don’t have to force yourself.” He whispered. I sighed and melted against him. 

“Maybe once we get back. Not here. I can’t.” he smiled gently at me and kept rubbing circles against my shoulder. There was no way I’d be falling back asleep, and he stayed up with me for the rest of the night, well it was early morning now. We both looked rough by the time the morning wakeup call rolled around, and I was pretty much snappy with everyone except Eren.

“Heichou, Commander Erwin wants to speak with you.” I groaned and rubbed my face. I just wanted to jump out of my own skin. Eren was rolling up the bed from last night, separating the two pieces, and attempting to put them back together.

“Of course he does.” I spat as I tossed my own pack to the side and hopped up. Eren frowned and kept fiddling with the snaps. 

“What?” 

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the-“

“Save it Erwin.”

“Jeez. I want your input, Levi. Should we continue the recon, or head back to the city?” I sighed and ran my hand over my face.

“What are our numbers like?”

“We lost three during the morning yesterday, and another twelve during the rescue mission.”

“Shit. In a day we’ve lost 15? That’s insane…” Ewrin sighed and looked out over the field. 

“I think we need to approach this a little differently next time. We need a different formation. A different plan altogether.” 

“You think so?” I leaned against the railing and looked out over the same desolate field.

“I don’t like losing scouts just as much as you Levi!”

“Scouts…Yeah. Right. I bet you couldn’t give off the names of five of them.” 

“And you could?” I raised my eyebrow, thinking back to who had been missing in the evening around the castle. 

“Irivng, Axel, Margaret (I knew I had seen her caught in a titan’s jaws yesterday)…”

“Enough Levi!” 

“Don’t treat them like just another soldier Erwin. They are more than that.”

“I’m trying Levi! Can’t you see! I’m trying to learn names, faces.”

“It’d be easier if you stayed in the barracks. But you stay in town…” he leaned against the banister and huffed at me.

“It’s because that apartment is closer to Headquarters.” 

“The barracks are only a 30 minute walk, quicker if you have long legs, which you do. Even faster by horse.”

“Levi…” 

“I’m just saying, Erwin. They barely know you and you expect them to blindly follow you into battle.” He remained silent for a moment, continuing to stare out into the blank field. Heavy clouds were beginning to twist and churn above our heads now, and I noticed immediately they were snow clouds. 

“I’ll give it some thought. So we are heading back then? Agreed?”

“Agreed.” I wrapped my cloak tighter around me as the bitter breeze blew through the valley. “Hopefully we don’t run into anymore snags on the way back. We’ve got a lot of injured as it is.” I went back into the main area to find the pack up order had begun spreading already, and I found Eren tangled up in the snaps and buckles of his maneuver gear and our bedrolls. I sighed and crossed my arms as I watched him struggled and become more and more tangled in the mess.

“What happened to you? I was gone for 5 minutes.” 

“Sorry Heichou….The snap wouldn’t come undone and then it got snagged on my pants…” I cracked a smile. I couldn’t stay serious looking at him tangled like that. 

“And how did you end up like that?” I point to him trapped under the bedroll with Jean dying of laughter in the corner.

“Well…I tripped and the other snaps got tangled, then it just got worse…so…could you help?” I walked over to him and began trying to free him from his dreaded trap, when I mis-stepped and snagged my own knee strap on the damn snap. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me…” Eren blushed and looked up at me. 

“That’s what happened to me at first then-“

“SHIT!” Of course. 

“My thigh strap got caught….” 

“Jaeger!” I could tell he was mortified. He was the color of a tomato. I would be caught up just as badly. Jean was cackling so hard in the corner he couldn’t breathe. “How do you manage to get us into these kinds of situations?” I was pissed at the stupid mattress. Pissed at the situation, pissed at the nightmare I’d had, and yet, seeing him bent like that, and having me trapped just as badly made a smile rise to my cheeks. I felt a warmth rush through me and before I knew it, laughter was filling my chest.

“L-Levi?” He tried to come towards me and he just succeeded in snagging another strap. I laughed harder and he just gave up and reach out a hand, which I gladly took. I was crying now, from laughing so hard, and Eren joined me. We’d probably have to be cut out of this fucking thing. 

“Heichou’s lost it! Look! He’s laughing!” 

“Holy shit! The captain!” 

“W-Will someone help u-us out of this fucking thing?!” I couldn’t breathe. I swear this thing was going to swallow us up if we didn’t get out of it. 

“What the hell is going on in here?!” 

“Get me out Erwin!” I laughed as I poked at the damn man eating mattress. He clicked his knife open and placed a hand on my thigh to hold my leg still and I felt Eren grip my hand hard. My eyes flashed up to look at him and all matters of laughter flashed away. I wiped my eyes and saw jealousy flash through him. He began working at the snaps that had caught my straps, and eventually I was free. Eren however was still trapped. I took out my own knife to cut him free.

“Thanks. That piece of shit was going to eat us alive.”

“Well at least you got a laugh out of it.” He said with a smile. “Now hurry up and get packed. We are heading back to the Walls in 30 minutes.” He clicked his own knife shut and walked off. I began working Eren free.

“What was that look about just now?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Eren. Don’t say that wasn’t nothing, I saw you shoot a death glare at him.”

“It was nothing. Drop it.” I frowned and cut the last of the snaps loose, and he dropped to the floor with a thud. He was breathing hard and his face was still red. “It was nice to hear you laugh like that…” 

“Well you are a sight to see sometimes.” I said as I clicked my own knife shut. He didn’t say anything, but just sat there for a moment, staring at me in silence. 

“Are you alright Levi? You seem…different today.” I grimaced and reach out my hand, pulling him to his feet. 

“Yeah, just tired. No need to worry, brat.” He frowned again, but nodded and we rolled the rogue bedroll up and attached it to my pack. We found my horse outside and I gave him an appreciative pat on the nose. I jumped up first today, and Eren was behind me. Erwin gave the signal, and once again we were off. We weren’t galloping as quickly this time, as we needed to keep the injured stabilized as much as possible in the carts. 

Eren was wrapped around me tightly, breathing against my neck, and the warmth was certainly welcomed. We were pretty much off to ourselves currently, keeping an eye on the left side. “You left last night.” I heard him say into my ear. “It woke me up when you moved. I saw you walk off with him.” He buried his face into my neck and I sighed. 

“Eren, that’s ridiculous. Just wipe that whole thought process out of your head, idiot.” 

“But you were so worried about waking me! I didn’t know what to think!”

“That maybe I was concerned about you after you transformed? I wanted you to rest. If you take this any further, you’ll really piss me off. Shut the fuck up right now.” He didn’t say another word, he just leaned back a bit and took his head away from my neck. His arms were still around my waist and I could feel his fingers trembling. 

“Deviant! Look out!” Before we knew what had hit us, we were slammed into God knows what. My whole body ached for a split second. I remember reaching for him, I caught a hold of his hand and pulled myself across the ground. All of my blades were knocked away from me on the impact, and his gear was crushed as the horse had flipped.

“Fuck. No. Eren.” There was blood. Who’s was it? Someone was shooting into the air above us. I trusted our comrades with our lives, but hopefully our bodies would hold out. 

“Eren!” I pulled myself closer. He was still warm, but I didn’t know if that meant anything. I didn’t want those to be my last words to him. No. I couldn’t think that way! “Eren! No.” I was up against him now, gripping his cloak, I could feel his chest rising and falling and his eyes flutter open. I threw myself over him. Maybe at least they’d take me first. Maybe, they’d think he was dead and…

“Levi…”

“Eren…can you move?”

“N-Not sure…Where are we.” Snow was beginning to fall around us now, and I could hear the roars of titans in the background and the sounds of maneuver gear cranking through the air. 

“We got knocked off the horse.” I groaned and stretched my head to see Hanji fly through the air with a whirl. She took out a 10 meter swiftly. 

“Sorry honey! You don’t treat my friends that way!” She plopped down beside us and crouched down. “Levi, you may make his injuries worse if you don’t move.” Oh right…I rolled over and gripped his hand tight. My body throbbed again, and my head ached. “I’m surprised you didn’t get knocked out, Levi. You hit the tree hard!” 

“Over here with that cart!” She yelled. My head wanted to split open. 

“So that’s what we hit.” Eren groaned and looked over at me. 

“Levi…I’m sorry….I” I shook my head. 

“No, I understand. It’s my fault. I see how it could have seemed odd.” Hanji was staring at us blankly. 

“Are you guys just speaking from blood loss or-“

“Can it Hanji!” I snapped. 

“I promise you are the only one for me Eren. I live and breathe to see those green eyes light up.” Red began to creep into his cheeks and he squeezed my hand. 

“S-same for you, Levi.” I knew that was all he could manage from embarrassment, but then suddenly he coughed. It was ragged and deep and blood spilled from his mouth.

“Eren!” He gripped my hand again and all of a sudden it went limp and his eyes fluttered closed. Eren. EREN. His chest wasn’t moving. EREN. I could feel myself screaming, but   
nothing seemed real.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story continues...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep reading on <3 I promise things will get better. I threw in lots and lots of smut at the end as a reward. Like 50% smut? Yaaaaaaay? :D
> 
> <3

“Levi! Calm down! Start CPR now!” Tears were running down my face, but I wiped them and I reluctantly let go of his hand and laid him on his back. No. NO. I was shaking. Training. Remember my training. 

I tilted his head back, and checked for a pulse, just as I had been taught and I had to force myself to choke back a sob. Nothing. I opened his mouth and looked inside. There was a little blood, but nothing looked obstructed. Hopefully his regeneration was still working. Hopefully it was working with me. God. Eren. Please. I pinched his nose shut and breathed twice.

“Good job Levi. You can do it!” Hanji urged. She was standing guard over us with her blades. I was thankful. I needed to protect him, at least until... I started compressions next. After the set of compressions I gave two more breaths. COME ON EREN! I was desperate. Calm. Stay calm. I was sobbing now. During next set of compressions I tried to get my composure back. One breath into him. Two breaths.

He gasped and blood went everywhere. “Eren! Thank god!” His eyes were weak, but I felt his neck and his had a pulse. He was alive. I was crying like a baby.   
“Get the cart over here! NOW!” Hanji screamed. 

I tried to stand on my own, but my legs failed me, and I just ended up falling. Something about being slammed into a tree at full force will do that to you. My eyes were on Eren, and I refused to be separated from him. I still tasted his blood in my mouth and I wanted to scream from it. I could see now the full damage. He was a bloody and broken mess, and I didn’t dare look down to assess my own body. We were thrown in the back of the cart together, along with Hanji and a first aid kit and we continued to travel to the walls. 

“Levi your wounds are-“

“Work on him first.”

“But he has regeneration.” I shot her a glare and gripped his hand. My tears hadn’t stopped and I had a feeling they weren’t about to. She cut his shirt, revealing the reason he was coughing up the blood. He had a rip completely sticking out of his side. “Oh my…” Steam was pouring from the wound, but it was having a hard time patching itself with a foreign   
object there. “I can’t fix this Levi. He needs a hospital.” I grimaced and put my face in my hand. Once again, I’d failed. But suddenly, as she said that, we heard something drop and hit the floor of the cart and we turned to see the gaping wound patching itself. She picked up the bloody and broken rib and held it up. I wanted to puke at the sight of it. 

“What the…it just…expelled it? I bet he’s growing a new one as we speak.”

“So…he’ll be okay?” The wound was steaming, but he was still deathly pale. 

“It may take a few days, but yeah I think so. Can I work on you now?!”I reluctantly nodded and she began looking over me. My arms and upper body were fine, aside from the wound on my head that she bandaged up. I was bleeding from various parts of my body, which she bandaged up immediately. 

“How do you not have any broken bones?” She rubbed over my back and pointed to a spot. “This spot here you hit pretty hard, but it just swollen and pinching the nerves, that’s why you had trouble walking. It’ll go down on it’s own in a few days. But I could have sworn you were headed straight into that tree. You were in front!” I was in front. There was   
no reason for Eren to be hurt worse than me….unless…

“He flipped us.”

“What?” 

“He grabbed me when we were about to hit and flipped us. Think about it. How else would his rib have gotten knocked out of his side like that? I landed on him. He cushioned my impact. Fuck Eren! After I said that to you...” I heard a groan and turned to see his eyes flutter open. He was drenched in blood. Hell I was too. 

“Why did you do that?!” I screamed at him.

“Levi!” Hanji smacked my leg. He just looked up through hazy eyes and gave me the brightest smile he could muster. 

“I h-had to be your prince this t-time.” He was leaning against me and I knew he could see my tears and my anger. “G-guess princes don’t piss off their princes huh?” 

“You fucking died! I lost you Eren!” I grabbed the scarf that was loosely hanging around his neck now and his eyes looked up at me without an ounce of regret. 

“I saved you and you saved me, right?” He was speaking a little more clearly now. Hanji had given up all hope of trying to calm me down. He reach up a shaky hand to my bloody lips. “You brought me back. I remember. God…I’m sorry. Levi. I just wanted to protect you.” Tears were forming in his own eyes now and he began to cough.   
“Eren. Try to stay calm.” Hanji said as she plopped down on the other side of him. He took a steady breath and leaned closer to me. 

“I t-thought my powers would just…protect me. I misjudged.”

“Yeah. You did. Don’t do stupid shit like that again.” I hissed. “You are still weak from yesterday.” I couldn’t help but lean my forehead against his. I was just so happy he was alive. So happy he was breathing at my side. “What would I do if I fucking lost you, huh? Do you know how miserable I would be?” His eyes dropped to the wooden floor of the cart, now streaked with the remnants of our blood. “You have the other part of my heart, and if you die, I’ll be ripped apart.” He whimpered and gripped my hand. 

“I-I’ll be more careful.” 

“Promise me! I’m trusting you with my heart Eren!”

“I promise! I don’t want you to hurt! But realize that promise works both ways!” He was about to lose it, but I didn’t want him to start to choke again. I scooped him up in my arms and pressed his head gently to my shoulder. My back ached precisely at the point Hanji had pointed at, and at multiple points all over, but that wasn’t getting in the way.

“Gently. Cry gently. Breathe.” I felt the tears start but he obeyed me, breathing as deep as he could. He still coughed every now and again, but Hanji monitored him closely. 

“Y-you have to promise me you won’t die either!” Eren cried into my shoulder. I ran my fingers through his hair, knocking out some of the dirt and blood in the process.

“I’m humanity’s strongest…do you really think…”

“You’re not indestructible. Promise me you’ll do your best to stay safe. What happened today scared the shit out of me.” My hands were freezing and I planted them up under his shirt to warm them up. He whimpered again.

“Fine brat. I promise. I’ve taken my fair share of hits to realize I’m not perfect. If I die, I can’t be with you any longer.” I frowned into his shoulder and he nodded.

“Thank you.”

“Mhmm. Now be quiet. Breathe.” He coughed again and it made me tense up. It seemed like an eternity later that the bell was ringing to let us back into the gate. Hanji insisted we go to a ‘real’ hospital to be looked over. 

 

The next day

I was cleared the next day and amazingly, so was Eren. They were, however amazed at the amount of bruises and cuts we’d sustained. Walking wasn’t really an option, so I had to be hauled back to the barracks in a carriage.

“Where to Heichou!” Hanji said as she greeted me and Eren. “Just plop us down in the shower. I smell awful.” Eren grinned and Jean came out with a smirk. “I brought Jean to help carry you Levi!” I frowned and looked down. My next look was to Eren who had immediately stepped out of the carriage to yell at the other boy.

“You aren’t laying a damn hand on him!”

“I’m just trying to be nice Eren! Chill! You just got out of the hospital! Damn!” Eren took a swing a Jean, but he jumped back.

“Oi! Eren! Come here!” He frowned and Hanji jerked him over to the edge of the carriage. “You are being a shitty brat right now!”

“I don’t care. He’s not touching you.” I sighed and leaned over the edge of the seat. “Fine! Then you carry me!” He immediately turned bright red. 

“But-But I…”

“It’s an order!” I grinned and dropped down. He caught me in his arms with a thud and Hanji clapped. 

“Haha! Nice one Heichou! Look how red the little darling is!” 

“Alright! Off to the showers brat!” He whimpered and carried me inside the barracks. I smiled and leaned my head against his shoulder. I was actually really nice being carried by him. I may play injured for a while after I was healed. 

We both desperately needed showers though. We finally made it to the showers and he gently sat me down on the bench. I stripped my own shirt and jacket off, but I stared blankly at him after I was done. He had just finished getting his own clothes off and he was already beet red. 

“Eren…I can’t really move my lower half that well so…” His eyes got wide and he stepped closer to me. “Unless you need Jean to help me shower.” I teased. He shot me an angry glace and began unbuttoning my pants. Hmm that seemed to work pretty well. He slipped my pants and underwear off, folded them up and put them in the pile with my other clothes. He scooped me into his arms again, and I reach into the basket on the way in and grabbed a bar of soap. 

“Any preference?” He asked as he looked around the showers with me in his arms. 

“For god sakes the one with the curtain this time.” I said with a smirk. “Grab the stool too. He grabbed it on the way, and plopped it in the center of the shower. It was a bit lower than the bench in the dressing room, and I grimaced and he tried to gently sit me down on it. My back was still pretty sore, and all the ups and downs weren’t helping. He, however was giving me enough eye candy to distract me.

He closed the curtain around us and started the water. It came down in sheets around us and felt so nice as it hit my aching muscles. I held out my arms as I watched the water hit. My bruises weren’t being washed away, but some of the previous few day’s grime was already being rinsed down the drain. I felt Eren’s hands in my hair and the bubbles were tickling my scalp. 

“By the way Eren…even if Jean wanted to lay a hand on me…I don’t think that blonde friend of yours would like that very much.” He snorted and went silent.

“Wait. What blonde friend?!” I chuckled and made the motion of zipping my lips. 

“Levi!” He rinsed my hair and began washing the rest of my body, all the way down. Oh it felt too good. His hands all over me. 

“You’ll have to bribe me.” He began washing himself, watching the grime and dried blood swirl down the drain as well. He raised his eye brown and looked down. I was getting hard already just from his touches and watching him wash himself. It’s been too long already since our little rendezvous out behind the castle. 

“With what?” I shrugged and pulled him down for a kiss. Our tongues danced and he bit my lip before pulling back.

“Whatever you feel comfortable with. Like a said before. Now that we’re clean.” I said with a smirk. I looked over his body. He was nearly completely healed, except for a couple odd bruises here and there that his body hadn’t deemed necessary to put effort into. He was looking over my body as well, eyeing over my own dark bruises and cuts that would instead take days to heal. “Not everyone has the luxury of healing quickly brat. Sorry.” 

“No…that’s not it.” He stepped closer and he was pressing up against me, rubbing his fingers gently over the bruise on my forehead. “I…don’t feel scared right now. It’s strange.” I looked up to him and pulled him down gently for a kiss. 

“Just don’t push yourself, regardless.” He smiled and dropped down to his knees. Oh wow, it’d been too long since I’d seen that gorgeous face between my legs. He placed both hands on my thighs and began to rub little circles driving me crazy. “Mhmm.” I kept my hand at my sides. I didn’t want to put them anywhere near his head. There was no way in hell I was making this seemed forced. 

I looked down to see Eren staring at me with hooded eyes and he was staring at my aching cock. I didn’t see a single ounce of fear flash through his eyes, before he gave it a test lick. I whimpered and help onto the stool.

“Shit. Eren.” Before I knew what had happened he had slipped the head into his mouth, sucking hard and I was clawing at the stool. His hand was running over my balls and it felt strange, because the soap was still in his hand, but just the contact felt nice. I was grinding my hips up towards him, although I was trying to not push my hips too hard into his face. He seemed to be enjoying it at least, because his slide my length all the way down, deep down, causing me to let out a ragged breath and a moan. He began to bob his head up and down, driving me absolutely crazy. I was panting, simply taking in the beautiful event unfolding in front of me. Suddenly his mouth was empty and he was eyeing me hungrily. 

“L-Levi…can I do something new?” His face was red and he was staring at me like I was his new favorite toy. I was holding onto the seat for dear life. He’d caught me off guard to be truthful, but hell Eren in the dominant position was sexy.

“Sure…just nothing too crazy.” I whispered to him. I saw him lather up his fingers and I knew exactly where there were going. Kinky little brat. He soaped me up and I was writhing below his touch as I felt his finger at my entrance. I felt like I needed to make sure this wasn’t going too far. I knew he wouldn’t push me, but I just needed to address it. 

“Eren.” He froze before he even pushed in. I could feel the flush across my face. He was touching me just right. “Fuck that feels good…but just fingers right now, okay?” I hated myself for saying it, but I knew that he didn’t want to deal with a weeping mess in front of him. Bit by bit right? We both had to slowly work through our fears and this was a big step for me.

“Of course! Whatever you want.” He gave my cock a lick before gently pushing a finger inside. I let out a cry and grabbed for him, falling off of the stool. He caught me in his arms and we were both on the shower floor, being rained on by the hot water. “Am I hurting you?” I pulled him down for a kiss and whispered a no against his lips. So many emotions were swirling around me. Trust. Love. Fear. Regret. Lust. 

“No. Keep going. Keep kissing me too.” He waited a moment and began moving his finger in and out, twisting it slightly, making me jerk. “Eren! Oh!” I could see the concern in his face, but he was making me writhe around on the shower floor with just his fucking finger.

“Can I do another?” I nodded and pulled him back down for another kiss. Our tongues were fighting a never ending battle as I felt the second finger push in past the sensitive nerves and I shuddered. Once again he left his fingers still until I was ready.

“Please, Eren.” I whispered against his lips. He hooked his finger, and I saw stars. I arched off the floor he crashed our lips together, stealing my scream. He kept hooking his fingers like that, rubbing that sensitive spot that only he’d ever been able to find. Only he had ever been able to make me feel like that. He finally released my lips only to slide down my body to capture my length in his mouth again. One more hook of his finger and one suck and white crashed into me. I’m certain I screamed as I came, but I don’t really remember anything by my orgasm slamming into me and Eren taking everything I had to give. 

I also remember him cleaning both of us up again and carrying me out of the shower, limp and nearly lifeless. We were greeted by a giggling locker room full of guys on our way out. I guess I had screamed. They had commented on Eren’s hard on. I’d have to take care of that.

“Oh Eren! There! Yes!” One of the guys teased. He was red, but that was from the leftover lust that had filled him.

“Stop being jealous.” He spat out. Wow. Hadn’t expected that. I was too worn out to even comment, but I grinned into his bare chest. “It’s not my fault you can’t please your girlfriends until they can’t move. Girls don’t have that kind of stamina to go all night anyways.” He said with a smirk. I let out a happy laugh and he plopped me down on the bench and began dressing me. The locker room seemed to clear out after his comment and he was beaming at me. He threw on his own pants, luckily they were lounge pants, and he could tuck himself if without too much discomfort. 

“Sorry. J-just-g-imme a minute.” Even my sentences didn’t want to form right. He grinned and leaned down to kiss me. 

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” He lifted me again and we were walking. I felt us going vertical, and were in our bedroom. We were finally home. I heard his shoes drop and we were falling onto the bed. His head was buried into my neck and he was still smiling. I could feel his lips lifted at the corner. 

“Eren, get undressed.” I whispered. My coherency slowly coming back to me. He slipped off his shirt and threw it in the floor. “Feel free to do mine too if you want.” I said with a grin. He began stripping me of my own clothes again, and very quickly, we were free of the confines. “Flip us over. I want on top of you.” I demanded, and he did just that, our clean skin sliding perfectly against one another’s. I used all the strength I had in my upper arms to pull my body down Eren’s and I saw him watching me through cloudy eyes.

“Do you want this Eren?” I hovered over his cock with my mouth for a minute and he rapidly shook his head. I gave it a light lick and he whined. “Too bad, I’ve got other plans for now…that is….if you’re okay with that? His eyes widened and he nodded. “No sex obviously, since I can even walk, but I’ll make you feel amazing.” 

 

Eren’s POV

What was Levi thinking? He was just hovering over me there and then I felt his hand push my legs apart. I was kind of startled. I hadn’t even seem him put his fingers up to his mouth or anything and then-

“OH! WHAT!” He pulled back and winked at me. 

“Yes? No? Keep going?” He had licked me! THERE! WHAT? NO WAY! The king of clean had put his tongue…I shuddered kept staring at him.

“F-Felt good.”

“So keep going then?” 

“P-please?” He smirked and dropped back down. “Levi! NHGNNN” I was squirming beneath his tongue as it moved as danced around, doing things that I couldn’t even begin to think about. His hand wrapped around my cock and I cried out. He flicked his tongue all around my entrance I was a wriggling babbling mess. “P-Please! OH!” He began pumping and licking and just doing that THING with his tongue. I couldn’t see his face, but I could feel him all over me, just touching me, and making me feeling everything. The hot wetness of his tongue on me there was driving me wild! I felt the tightening begin and I began to panic. Levi was down there! I was going to get on him! I tried to pull away, but he gently nudged my hips down with his free hand, urging me to stay in place as he continued licking and pumping hard.

“Levi, I’m gonna! OHHHH!” I tried not to jerk forward too much, but I found that wasn’t too much of an issue, because his strong hand was holding me firmly in place as he licked me all the way through my body breaking orgasm. “Heichou!!!” I spilled onto his hand and saw it shoot out and land exactly where I didn’t want to, right between my legs, where Levi was. He sat up and looked at me with a grin. He was a mess. It was all in his bangs and I couldn’t have been redder. His face was wet also, and he was licking his lips.

“You got me messy again, Eren. Take me to the bathroom.” He said with a smirk. “After you can walk again, of course. “ I sat there for a few seconds in disbelief and began wiggling my legs. Yulp. Maybe I could move without dropping him…I hoped. He lifted up just enough to let me swing my legs out of the bed and I collected my prize into my arms again. But this time he was sticky and I had caused it. He was smiling though, and for that I was even happy. I was also glad I’d caused the mind numbing orgasm he’d had earlier.   
“Sink.” He said and I helped him lean against it I supported him with my arms as he rinsed his hair and washed his hands and arms and face. Wow. I really had gotten him messy. I was blushing.

“Too late to be blushing brat, not after I had my face buried in your ass like that.”

“Levi!” He snickered and dried off with a towel. We brushed our teeth together and I carried him back to bed. The soft covers felt like a dream as we crawled back into them and I wrapped myself around Levi. He wrapped his arms around me and frowned, kissing my forehead apologetically. 

“Sorry, I’d tangle up with you if everything would work right. Hanji said the nerve should go back to normal once the swelling goes down.” I kissed him and rested my head on his chest. 

“It’s fine. We’re here, we’re alive, and we’re together. That’s what matters.” He nodded and hugged me tight. 

“Exactly.” He nuzzle me and chuckled. “So I guess you get the information you want then? Your bribe was pretty damn good after all…” He said with a grin.

“I’d almost forgotten. Which blonde friend? Krista?” Levi chuckled and gave me a hug. 

“Not quite. Think….a little closer to you.” His brow furrowed and he just stared up at me. 

“You can’t mean…”

“Armin? Yeah. That’s exactly who I mean.” 

“WHAT! WITH JEAN?!” 

“Keep it down brat!” I poked his forehead and he slouched back down. “It’s not official. Who know’s if THEY’VE even figured it out. I saw them all lovey dovey the night we rescued   
them. They were holding each other. You saw the way Jean was standing in front of Armin right? That’s not how equals fight. That’s how you defend someone you care about in a   
last ditch effort.”

“Wow…that’s just…”

“Shocking? Yeah I thought so too, but love happens out of nowhere, Eren. Just be happy for your friend if he’s found it.” He nodded against me and I brought his lips up to mine once more.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi spend the day in bed, recovering after the recon mission. Levi opens up to Eren about his nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow...this chapter was hard to write o.o It's a bit short...but enjoy! :D Goodies at the end <3

A few days later

Eren’s POV

Levi had allowed me to take care of him for a few days following his injury, which pretty much consisted of us lounging around in bed and me bringing meals up to him, much like he’d done for me. I wasn’t much of a cook like he was, so my meals were a lot simpler, but I could tell he appreciated everything I did. Our relationship was flourishing in every way….well except for one, but he wasn’t rushing me in that direction. I plopped down on the bed with him after we had shared lunch and tea together. He looked well rested for once, and my mind shot back to the dream he had while we were out on recon. I remember that face he made, and the tears running against my shirt. Levi barely cried, so it must have been something important.

“Levi…can I ask you about something?” he propped himself up on his elbow to look at me.

“Sure. What’s wrong?” I frowned and took his hand in mine.

“It’s about that nightmare you had on recon. You said you’d talk about it later, but we never really got around to it…” An instant expression of hurt filled his eyes and I could see the trouble lying within. “Only if you want to. If it’s not something you want to discuss, we can drop it. It’s not a big deal.” I added.

“I should probably tell you…” I didn’t like the tone to his voice or how he gave my hand a squeeze. “It’s not a very nice story to tell though…it’s pretty…upsetting for me.” I turned on my back and pulled him against me, like he had done for me so many time. I was going to be his shoulder this time. Even if he didn’t need it to cry on, at least I could be there for support. He laced our fingers back together on the other hand, as if were his life line. 

“Well…you know about my past already…” he swallowed hard and looked up at me with those stunning eyes so suddenly filled with sadness. It broke my heart. I nodded and stayed silent. “Well…remember how I told you things didn’t always go as planned?” My stomach knotted and I gave his hand a squeeze and nodded again. “Well this is what happened that night. This is what that nightmare was about.” His voice was starting to get a little shaky, but I held him tight, lending him my strength.

“I…ugh well I was pretty much in an ‘eligible’ line up and got picked by a guy to preform…oral favors.” I cringed at the words but I kept listening. I wasn’t here to judge, I was here to help Levi through. “W-well I went down the alley with him, and I held out my hand for the money. He told me he forgot his wallet. Well I was s-stupid. I had already gotten down on my knees.” He was breathing heavy and I could feel his heart beat starting to speed up. Tears were already welling up in his eyes.

“Calm down, it’s okay. Just take it as slow as you need to.” He took a couple of deep breaths along with my encouragement, and I took the opportunity to press a kiss to his lips. Just seeing the tears in his eyes made me want to scream. I hated seeing him hurt. It made me feel bad enough when he was crying over me, let alone something I couldn’t control. 

“H-He’d already unzipped his pants as well…By the time I’d heard him click his knife open, it was too late for me to get mine out.” He closed his eyes and gripped at my shirt. “A-and he said I actually want a little more than that I think. Turn around.” I heard Levi cough and he released the sob he was holding back as he pushed his face into my chest. My hand went into his hair. I was rubbing anything I could to comfort him. “I’ve never told anyone besides Farlan and Isabel. God, Eren, I’ve kept this s-secret far too long!” he was crying hard now. “I’ll never forget those fucking words until the day I die! I could feel his hands trembling. “H-he pushed the knife to my throat and then he kicked me into the wall. I mean I was just a fucking kid trying to survive down there, I couldn’t fight against a guy with a knife.”

“Oh, Levi.” I buried my face in his hair, feeling my own tears beginning to sting my eyes. It broke my heart to hear so much pain in his voice, to hear the struggles he put up with. 

“H-He…he…he….” He was clawing at my shirt. I’d never seen him so vulnerable before, breaking down this much of a wall. “He…r-raped me Eren…” His voice trailed off as he said those words and fresh sobs ripped loose. And he began to cry out. He was so mad, and it’s like he’d stayed calm all these years, only to be able to let it out now. “And I-I’m just s-so dirty. I bet you don’t even want me anymore. That fucking bastard!” He pounded on my chest and I grabbed his fist and captured his lips with mine. He tasted salty, and his face was wet. He was breathing heavy, and he tried to struggle against me, but I held him still. I pulled away slowly, holding his chin and forcing him to lock eyes with me.

“Don’t ever say that I don’t want you, Levi. I love you. Anyone should be honored to have you, and I’m just lucky enough that it’s me.” He froze aside from blinking, which made another tear roll down his cheek. I used my thumb to wipe it away. 

“I-I love you too!” He breathed it out and pushed his head into the crook of my neck. I flipped us so I was on top of him, peppering his face and neck with kisses, giving him something else to focus on besides bitter memories. 

“I love you just the way you are Heichou. Everything about you. Especially your eyes.” I smiled as I looked into the stormy eyes that were now tear free. He let out a relived laugh and relaxed back into mattress. “The way your hair frames your face just right.” I ran my fingers through his hair and he smiled at me. “You know what I love the best though? I love it when you smile just for me. That true honest smile and makes my stomach do flips.” His expression softened and he pulled me down for a kiss. 

“Eren…don’t ever change.” His arms were around my neck and my lips were all over him. On his lips, on his neck. “Hey brat…I trust you…” he looked up into my eyes, and although his face was stained from the tears from a few moments ago, his face was turning red. I had never seen it that red before. He was blushing all the way down his neck. I couldn’t resist kissing it, and I could feel his want pressing against me. 

“Levi?” 

“Eren…only if you want to...If you aren’t ready it’s okay. Plus it’s completely different than anything we’ve ever done…Do you want to make love to me?” His voice was heavy with want, and I could tell he needed this. I was terrified sure, but so was he. I swallowed hard and nodded. I leaned back and pulled his shirt off followed by my own. Just the sudden contact of our skin on each other’s was enough to send electricity through us. I pulled my own pants and underwear off next, followed by his. He was a deep red now, and was it sexy. I was on top of him again, kissing sucking, biting lightly. Our hands intertwined together by his head, and I could feel both of our hands shaking. I leaned our foreheads together and placed a kiss on his lips. 

“Are you sure about this?” His body felt so perfect under mine. We were just meant to be together. He crashed our mouths together, stealing a hungry kiss that left me panting. It was past the point of simple hunger now. It was desire. Desire to please one another. 

“Yeah. I’m sure. Like I said, I trust you Eren. It can only be you.” I blushed at those words and reach into the bedside table to pull out the oil we kept there. I slicked up my fingers and rubbed it over his entrance, then, just like I had done before, pressed one inside. He cried out and arched up against me, every muscle flexing. 

“Fuck Levi, you look gorgeous when you move like that.” He whimpered and turned his face into my chest. So he was shy now? I began to move the finger slowly in and out and had him writhing and wiggling on the bed, gasping in front of me. 

“Eren! Please. Just….” He was moving his hip against the finger, so I slowly added the second and he cried out again. “OHHH! EREN! PLEASE!” He was thrusting back against my hand and I curled my fingers, and he went rigid, and spasmed. I’d found the special spot deep inside that made him feel so good. I circled my fingered again and he let out the most beautiful moan I’d ever hear.

“EREN! OHHH” He was arching up off the bed and suddenly I remembered he usually used three fingers on me. I looked at Levi. He was watching me through half-lidded eyes. He was so…tiny. How was I going to fit three in without breaking him? How was I going to fit in without breaking him?” He was breathing heavy now, panting on the bed, reaching for me. “E-Eren. I’m not made out of glass. I’m not going to break if that’s what you are thinking. You’ll take care of me.” Levi trusted me 100% with his body. I nodded and added more oil before slipping in a third finger. He groaned this time and reach for my hand. He was letting out little pained whines and eventually they eased up. I began moving my fingers again, and curled my fingers, pressing into the same spot, making him freeze up and jerk. “NghNNN OHH! Please!” He was begging now, pulling on my other arm. 

“Okay, okay. I just wanted to make sure you were ready.” I slipped my fingers out and slathered oil all over myself. I gave a quick kiss before pressing myself to his entrance. My nerves were starting to get the best of me. What if I hurt him? What if I wasn’t good enough?

“EREN! GO!” I pressed in slowly and the warm tightness that surrounded me wasn’t like anything else I’d ever felt before.

“Levi!” I cried out as I filled him all the way to the hilt. I immediately froze. He had a look of pain on his face and I began to panic. “Are you okay?!” 

“Y-yeah. Just stay still. You’re big brat.” I chuckled softly and buried my face in the nape of his neck, pressing kisses wherever my lips touched. Eventually he adjusted and began to move against me. I thrust my hips forward and pulled back, just as Levi used to do with me, and he let out a whine. He grabbed my hand again and we kept moving together.

“Fuck. You feel so good, Heichou.” I kept thrusting in and out, watching him pant and roll his hips against me and then suddenly, he let out a scream. “EREN! OH!!! EREN!” I felt him tighten around me and his eyes closed.

“Levi?!?”

“DON’T FUCKING STOP!” His nails were biting into my hand and into my shoulder on the other side now. Every time I would roll my hips, I would be rewarded with a breath shattering scream from Levi, and a jerk of his hips. “Please don’t.” His nails scratched down my shoulder and I kept going, even though I felt the coiling beginning. I would hang on as long as I could for Levi though. I had never been in control like this before, it was all so now, so I hoped he knew I wasn’t going to last long. I reach between us and began pumping his neglected cock along with the motions of my hips and the screams and obscenities coming out of his mouth were enough to make a veteran soldier blush. I just had to hold back until…

“EREN…GONNA AAAGGGHHH!!!”” He let out a raspy scream and released between us and I kept thrusting through his orgasm. I panicked for a moment. Levi was such a clean person, and we hadn’t discussed me coming inside, so I went to pull to out. And his nails bit into my shoulder again. 

“Keep..goi-ng..” That was all I needed. Three more pumps and I came deeps inside of Levi with a moan of his name. I pulled out and nearly collapsed beside him. It took all of my strength to pull myself to my feet. How did he have the strength to do this every time? His eyes were closed and he was breathing hard. I wet a washcloth and grabbed a dry towel as well from the bathroom. I gently began wiping him down, and his eyes cracked open and he watched me. 

“Eren.” It was barely a whisper. I could tell he was on the verge of sleep. He shuddered as I wiped him completely clean and dried him with the other towel. I quickly wiped myself off and threw the towels in the hamper, settling into bed beside him. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close. 

“Was that okay, Levi?” I whispered it too him, scared I was going to wake him if he’d already dozed off. He cracked his eye open again nodded. 

“It was amazing Eren.” He said it in that breathless whisper again, and it even made my eyes grow heavy, not that I wasn’t worn out already. He was safe against me. That’s all that mattered. I’d never let anything happen to Levi. He was strong, but he wasn’t unbreakable. And I knew that he would protect me as well. The thought was comforting enough to let me drift off into a sleep filled with warm dreams for once.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Eren finally complete his recovery?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapterrrrr <3

The next day

Levi’s POV  
We were all gathered in the dining hall for dinner that evening. It was a surprisingly early dinner for some reason, and I had discovered why, when Erwin entered the hall and took a seat at my former place at the ‘head of the table’. I now sat with Eren and his friends near the end. 

“Comrades, I am hear by relieving Captain Levi of his duties of watching over each and every one of you in the barracks!” I frowned and Eren took my hand under the table.

“What are you talking about Erwin?!” I spat out over my drink. 

“I’m officially staying in the barracks now. Their safety and guidance is my priority and responsibility now.” I smirked. He’d made me eat my words after all. Good, now I could put all of my focus into the gorgeous brunette sitting next to me. We made a toast and finished up dinner rather quickly. 

Eren pulled me outside after dinner to look at the sunset. It was a warmer day today, but the snow still sparkled on the surface of everything around us. I should have thrown on my cloak, but I only had on my white button up. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him close, remembering just how close I’d come to losing him. 

“Levi….” I leaned my head into his shoulder. I’d fully given myself to him last night. It’d been a long time since that’d happened, and it had never been that emotionally dedicated before. I looked up into his eyes and saw the oranges and reds bounce off the turquoise eyes in front of me. He was so warm against me. I felt nothing but pure affection and love for this brat. 

“Yeah?” I felt his fingers intertwine with my hair and he offered me a small smile.

“Levi…was last night really okay?” My stomach sank. Was he having regrets? I hooked my finger in his belt loop and played with it nervously. 

“W-was it not okay for you?” I looked up as the look of horror swept over my face. “I thought it was perfect…but we don’t have to do it again if-“

“No! No that’s not what I meant at all!” He leant down and captured my lips in a brief kiss before pulling away slightly. “I meant…did you feel….comfortable? After everything that’s happened?” I thought for a minute and nodded. 

“Yeah…I did. What about you?” His face was turning red now and he nuzzled my hair and groaned. I looked around to make sure there was no one around. 

“There’s no one out here. It’s just us, you don’t have to worry.” He sighed into my neck and pulled back.

“It felt like normal. I was really comfortable with you…I…” He paused and sighed, like he didn’t know how to form the words. 

“You what?”

“I-I think I’m r-ready now…If you are?” I froze and looked up at him. His face was showing signs of embarrassment, but absolutely no signs of fear or pain. Had we really made it to this point? I reach of and tilted his chin down and kissed him, then nuzzled my face against his afterwards. 

“Absolutely.” 

We crashed through the bedroom door, barely able to keep our hands off of each other. I heard the door shut and lock behind us, and I had Eren pressed up against it, kissing everything I could get my mouth on. I bit down on his collarbone and he cried out. 

“Leviiii! M-my dream!” I pulled back and gave him an odd look. His face was red, and he was holding onto me desperately. “When we were outside the walls. This was pretty much how it went....You even had on the same outfit. You bit down on my collarbone just like that.” I smirked and pressed him up against the door again, repeating my action, drawing out another cry. 

“What happened next?” He frowned.

“You woke me up…well…then good things happened.” He said with a smile. “We found that cabin and we touched each other for the first time.” 

“Oh, That’s the dream you are talking about. The one that made you all hot and bothered?” I ran my hand over the bulge in his pants and he shuttered. 

“Y-yeah.”

“Did it make you more hot and bothered than you are now?” I pulled his shirt off then I popped the button loose on his pants and plunged my hand inside, and he bucked up against me.

“LEVIIIIII!!!!!” I chuckled and leaned forward to suck on his neck, leaving my mark. He squirmed and rolled his hips against me as I sucked and his whimpering was driving me crazy. “L-Levi please.”

“Not yet brat. It’s not my fault you’ve been thinking about me all day.” I ran my hand down his chest, stopping to toy with his nipple for a moment. He whimpered and jerked as I rubbed over them lightly, but I continued my motion downwards. I gave his cock a squeeze and heard his nails scratch the door. I was literally driving him up the wall. I withdrew my hand and his head dropped back with a sigh. He was breathing heavy now, and suddenly he flipped me over and pinned me against the door. “Eren-“ My words were silenced by his lips and I felt his hand on my own button. I was hard too. Just one glace would have shown him that, and I knew he wasn’t blind. I felt his own hand plunge into my pants and wrap around me and I groaned.

“Fuck! What the hell?!” My voice cracked. Giving me a taste of my own medicine I supposed. He smirked and pressed me harder into the wall, before stripping off my shirt. Tough little brat. “I’m not going to put up a fight, Eren.” I said with a grin. He blushed and he plunged down onto my neck, sucking and licking away. Who knew how many marks I’d have tomorrow? Who cared? I bucked up against his hand, up against the hips that were also pushing me into the door. I felt his teeth sink in and my eyes squeezed shut. I hissed and grabbed onto his shoulder, but then I soared sky high as he squeezed me again. Fucking brat. He licked the bite, soothing the throbbing sting. 

Afterwards, he removed his hand from my pants, to my disappointment, and proceeded to push himself closer to me, grinding into me. Hard. I began whimpering against him, not able to control myself. I was clawing at his shirt. His tongue traveled down to my nipple, licking lightly at first and then sucking hard, drawing a raspy moan from my throat. Fuck. How could he make me want him so badly?! And then he did it. The final straw that send me over the edge. He fucking smiled at me as he rubbed against me.

“EREN!!! PLEASE!!!” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them and I felt myself being pulled towards the bed. Our pants and underwear were off by the time our bodies even hit the bed. I was in his arms, and we were kissing. I was exploring every inch of his mouth, every depth. His tongue was just caressing mine right back, sending my mind straight into oblivion. I was on top of him and I could feel him throbbing against me, more than ready to move forward. 

This, however was a big decision. After everything that had happened, I wanted to make sure he was completely ready. I wanted there to be no regrets between us. Between kisses I managed to breathe out the question.

“Eren…are you sure you are ready for this?” He pulled away from my lips for a moment to stare into my eyes and as the last few rays of the sunset poured into our room, I could see every single ounce of that beautiful spark again. I knew in that instant what he was going to say. I knew that his heart was alight again. Alight with passion, love, and determination. We were going to fight! Not only for humanity, but for us, for our relationship. We had brought it back from the brink of destruction, and here it was, aflame and burning bright. 

“I’m ready, Levi. I trust you with everything.” His body felt so warm against mine, and there was nothing that could come between us at that moment. I felt his hand in my hair and he leaned my forehead down against his. “My heart, body, and trust are all yours.” I smiled and brought our lips together, sliding my body across his to gain better access to his mouth. He was panting now, and when exactly had it become so hot in our room? We were both starting to sweat already, and we had barely even gotten started. Our tongues were dancing again, and his hands were caressing my lower back, running up and down, pressing me against him perfectly. We fit just right together. I was like that damn key he kept around his neck, destined to be pressed into just the right lock. 

I reach onto the table and pulled out the oil, slicking up my fingers as I had done in the past. It had been a while since I’d touched Eren. Hopefully no bad memories would invade our new memory making. 

“Eren, up on your hands and knees.” His eyes got wide and he blushed hard. I rolled off of him and he climbed onto his hands and knees. I rubbed his entrance for a moment with one slick digit before plunging in and he cried out and nearly collapsed forward.

“Levi! OH!” He gripped the sheets beneath him and I watched his expression carefully. I slowly began moving my finger in and out, drawing soft moans from him, and luckily no signs of distress. I added a second finger and this time a pained expression washed over him for a moment. He groaned, but that groan quickly turned into a moan and I repeated my motions. He cried out when I hit that sensitive bundle of nerves just right, and he thrust back against my hand, begging for it again. I obliged, making him call out my name and fist the sheets a second time.

“Levi! Please! I’m ready!” I leaned forward and gave him a kiss. 

“Not yet. I wanna be sure. I don’t want to hurt you.” I pressed a third finger inside and he let out a pained hiss. It had been so long. I reach down and gave his cock a few strokes to keep his mind off of the pain while his muscles loosened and stretched. “Relax.” After a few moments, he finally loosened up enough that I could curl my fingers. When I did, I was rewarded with a sharp cry. 

“Oh! There!” I pulled my fingers out and slicked myself down with the oil, and even added a little extra to his entrance. I didn’t want to cause him any kind of pain if I could help it. I positioned myself at the tight ring, and waited for any sign from him to stop. “Please, Levi!!!” I began pushing in slowly, using all of the restraint I could. I pushed in all the way until I was flush against him, and I waited, not moving a muscle. He let out a strangled cry, something in caught in between pleasure and pain. Had this been the wrong choice? I couldn’t see his face. My hands were resting gently on his lower back, rubbing soft circles. Eventually I felt him press back against me. I pulled back slowly, drawing a cry from him. He tried to grab my arm, but the weight of both of us, toppled us onto the bed, leaving just his ass up. I grabbed his hand and laced our fingers together, and pushed back in, drawing out the same type of cry. My movements were slow and precise, all for the simple job of adjustment. I repositioned myself slightly and I evidently must’ve hit his sweet spot, because he let a moan rip through him this time. My own pants and sounds were falling from my lips. Damn it! I wanted to see his face! I pulled out and grabbed his hips forcefully, flipping him onto his back.

I plunged back in right into the spot that made him see white and he jerked against me. The expression on his face was worth it. He reach his hand back out and I took it, leaning forward slightly. I was thrusting hard now, abandoning all inhibitions. I needed this release. It had been too long. Passion, desire, love, all of those things I could only pour into Eren had been built up over the past few weeks and although last night was a release, it wasn’t like this. 

“OH! Please! Heichou!” All rational thoughts were out the door. He was bucking up against me. One second his eyes were open, the next they would roll and flutter closed. He pulled me down for a kiss and our tongues danced and lapped at each other as I thrust and pumped. We were so close, moving as one. I could feel his need in between us, hard and aching. I pulled away from his lips and he whimpered as I drew back. He was happy with the hand I wrapped around his needy cock, however.

“LEVI!!!! PLEASE! OH!!!! NOT GONNA!” I pumped my hand a few times along with my thrusts and he spilled in between us, covering our stomachs. He slumped into the mattress and I continued to thrust into him until my own orgasm slammed into me. 

“Eren! Oh Fuck!” I spilled everything I had into him and lazily pulled out and somehow managed to crawl to his side. “E-Eren. I love you. God I love you so much.” My arms were already around him, pulling him close. I wanted to get up and clean us both up, but I just didn’t have the energy or the willpower to move.

“I l-love you too, Levi.” He gave me a tired smile before leaning in to nuzzle my neck. We were both breathing hard, exhausted from the events of the day. I pulled the covers up over us, abandoning all thoughts of trying to clean either of us up for the moment. I didn’t think Eren really cared, considering he was almost already asleep against my chest. 

There in that bedroom, in that winter evening, we both completed our full recovery.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wrapping things up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T.T noooo the last chapter!!! It has been so much fun and so many feels!!! I seriously hope you guys enjoyed You're the Universe to Me and Recovery. They really do hold a special place in my heart just like Levi and Eren do <3 My boys. T.T *sob sob* enjoy the ending!!!

A few years later (Post-War on Titans)  
 _Pink cherry blossoms circled around us as we walked through the capital. There was no fear now. They’d all been eliminated. All except for one. One Eren Jaeger. Titan Shifter. We held hands as we walked through the capital and all of the vendors and families gave us odd looks. We didn’t care though. This was true love. A love that couldn’t be crushed by a look or a remark. He was smiling at me and he blushed the color of the sakura blossoms as I leaned in to kiss him in front of them. Just to make them all jealous. I heard familiar voices call out to me and I looked up on top of the building to see Farlan and Isabel…oh…so it was a dream?_

_“Levi-bro! You did good!” They jumped down to meet us and they both hugged us. If only…_

_“You guys saved humanity! You deserve a reward! Be happy! Enjoy each other! I can see how much you care about him Levi!” Isabel said with that childish smile of hers. I felt a blush creep across my own cheeks and a fresh spring gust blew the sweet scent of blossoms through the air with a few floating buds._

_“He’s my world.”_

“Levi.” I was being shaken awake and green eyes stared into mine. “Levi. It’s morning now. You said as soon as the sun was up we could go.” Oh right. We had finally made it.

“Absolutely. Let’s get dressed.” We both threw on a pair of shorts and a t shirt and walked out of the temporary house we’d found lingering as a reminder that humanity had once lived in a place like this. And for a good reason. We quickly brushed our teeth and walked outside and stepped into the sand. He tugged me by my arm and we ran straight towards the sea. It was beautiful! It shone almost as brightly as his eyes. We threw off our shirts, I laid down a small blanket and we jumped straight in. The cool water surrounded us, splashing us, wave after wave. 

“I love it! I never want to leave!” He was beaming from ear to ear and I reach up, bringing his face down to mine. I kissed him with everything I had in me. Every emotion that I had developed since I met Eren poured into this kiss. Happiness, affection, love. We shared a bond now that couldn’t be broken. I fought for dominance over the kiss and won with a smirk, claiming his mouth. It tasted salty, no doubt from the water. 

“Then we’ll stay!” I said as we broke apart. He was panting. “We’ll build a home here!” 

“Seriously! What about the city?” 

“You love it here. I want you to be happy Eren. Maybe our friends will join us?” I knew immediately as soon as we asked them, they would all say yes. They longed to get away from   
the city, and just be away from the constant reminders of the grim survival that we had to fight tooth and nail for. “It’ll be hard. We’ll have to live off the land pretty much, but   
after we get going, it should be fine. What do you say?”

“Yes!” He brought our lips together again and just like that claimed the coast as our new home. We ventured out of the water and dripped dry for a moment in the sand before walking hand in hand bank to the small house we had stayed in the night before, our rings shining brightly in the sun.

It seemed so odd to be bound to someone, and yet feel so free. Yet with Eren, everything felt so right. We had a small ceremony before venturing outside of the walls, with all of our friends present, and just like that we were forever united as one. 

I wrote an invitation out to the others inviting them to join us on the coast and we both signed it and attached the map we had made along the way. We had trained a hawk for communication before we left, and now it would come in handy. I attached the note to it’s foot and off it went.

“So now what?” Eren asked with as smile.

“Now we wait for a reply.”

“What do we do in the meantime?” Eren said with a frown.

“Oh I can think of lots of ways to wipe that frown off of your face Jaeger…” I said with a smirk. I wrapped my arms around his waist and sealed the promise with a kiss.

X End X   
Thanks!!!!!! <3


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